If there are sincere relationships in a family, do not be afraid of social media
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of ‘Gündem Özel’ (Special Agenda) program broadcasted on TGRT Haber (TGRT News). Stating that the social norms of society and family have been destroyed by the effect of social media, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that parents should be the ones who teach children, not social media. Tarhan continued and said that parents should not panic about social media. Tarhan advised and said that “The child takes 3 details as an example: the mother, the father and the relationship of the parents. If these there are doing well, whether social media is as bad as it wants it to be, you can be sure of hat the child will return immediately even if it has a negative impact. Therefore, let's not be pessimistic at all, let's know what to do. If there are sincere relationships in the family and you teach social media literacy before the age of 10-11, do not be afraid of social media at all. The trick is to spend more and quality time with the child, to establish a quality relationship.”.
The social norms of society and the family, as well as the individual and moral norms of the person, have been destroyed by the influence of social media. President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that not only in Türkiye but also all over the world, the family norms and the internal and moral norms of the individual are in crisis. Tarhan stated suggesting that children should not fall victim to this situation that "There is an uncontrolled course that does not care where people go. Previously, norms and cultural and ethical standards were transmitted by the family and society. Today, the role of the family and community in transmitting culture has diminished. Our concepts of the influence of grandparents, extended families related to correcting misbehavior, our feedback systems are disappearing.”.
People are exposed to the most unsafe situations in the safest environment such as their homes
Noting that social media assumes the role of culture transmitter, Tarhan said that "In such cases, the good and the bad spread very quickly. Therefore, it is not right to say that social media is all bad. Social media also has some advantages. We can follow innovations from social media, and people can communicate with each other quickly. People from far away can communicate with each other very easily and have a fun time. However, while providing these advantages, people are exposed to the most unsafe situations in the safe environment such as their home. By changing the identity or hiding the identity, very serious cyber-crimes have emerged. It created behaviorally technological dependencies. The reward punishment system in the brain, the pleasure control system, is broken.".
There are search engines that say 'our only competition is sleep'
Stating that youth is a period in which emotions predominate, not mind, Tarhan stated that "Currently, there is an export of the entertainment industry to the Hollywood-based world. As a requirement of their work, they do it quickly and in a very variable way with a style that can attract people's attention. Search engines have one most important claim. They set up a persuasion laboratory. They calculate how to connect people to themselves. For example, one of the search engines says 'our only competition is sleep'. They want to connect people to themselves without putting them to sleep. In such a situation, we have to change. The reason for the change is that the world is now like an electronic village. The fact that communication has become so fast and pleasurable has increased the expectation of freedom, and autonomy in people.”. Tarhan also added that young people have serious objections to concepts such as 'shame, prohibition, sin' and that they like to question these concepts.
If there is peace and sincere relationships in the family, do not be afraid of social media
Stating that parents approach their children with good intentions, Tarhan pointed out an important point as follows: "Children must be taught by their parents, not social media. Parents treat their children with good intentions, however, they take on the opposite role because the method they use is wrong. It turns out that it is not what the parents want, but the opposite. Since today's children learn not with pressure, threats, intimidation and authority like the children of the old time, but with words of appreciation, praise, approval, persuasion methods and justifications. The crisis in families grew since we couldn't do that. In fact, it is not hard at all, there's no need to panic about social media at all. If there is peace and warm relationships in the family and you teach social media literacy before the age of 10-11, do not be afraid of social media at all. Those affected by social media are those with weak family ties. The child takes 3 details as an example: the mother, the father and the parents' relationship. If these three are doing well, whether social media is as bad as it wants it to be, make sure the child returns immediately, even if it has a negative impact. They say ‘Is my family or this important?’. Therefore, let's not be pessimistic at all, let's know what to do. Ibn Khaldun, who was a kind of father of social sciences and sociology in the West, says, ‘You do not need to do anything to raise your child. How you are, your child will be like that.’ The child does not understand advice, lectures or preaches. The child understands the language of behavior, not the language of words, and a child looks at your behavior, records it, and imitates it.".
Children have become victims of digital capitalism
Pointing out that only concrete culture comes to mind when it comes to culture, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "We do not have a seriously structured cultural policy. We have reduced culture only to concrete culture, museology and the repair of historical artifacts. However, culture also includes abstract culture. If we cannot shape the culture, morality and values of the people who will walk on the roads and in those buildings, this generation will be made up of individuals who are managed and educated by social media. Children have now surrendered to global capitalism, and they have become victims of digital capitalism. It is like charming the children... A person is so drawn into magic that they become hypnotized, not interested in anything else. Children are the same way. You look at them hanging out on social media 24 hours a day, and there are children who are having a heart attack. There are even children who stabbed their mother because she turned off the modem. In fact, the child does not go to the toilet because of social media, and they keep a water bottle in their room. For example, they refuse to go to school. Because of social media, kids do not go to school, and teens do not work. Unfortunately, these are not such marginal cases. It seems too often now. These children become victims of social media. Instead of parents' leadership at home, the new leader is social media. For example, everyone used to listen to the grandfather in the house. Social media is the grandfather of the house right now. Everyone is interested in it, not in anything else. Social media minds have taken our emotions captive.".
People want to live as if there will be no accountability
"It has started to increase in the world with self-centered, self-interested, and hedonistic people who consider themselves special, important and superior. Social media has increased this. The second factor is secularism. Thus, worldliness has become worldwide. People want to live as if there will be no accountability. There is no sense of accountability for the afterlife. As such, man can do hidden evil. In the ancient age, the Greeks also had it. Unless caught, theft was free. At this time, the world began to live the morality of antiquity globally. It is a morality of ignorance.".
It is necessary to teach the child to manage social media until the age of 10-12
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan concluded his remarks with solution suggestions: "Of course, every parent has a desire and goal to raise good people. On the way to this goal, parents accompany each other. Companionship is not only about romance; however, it is also about doing things that will improve the family and society. The age of 10-12 is very critical. Until this age, we should have taught the child to manage social media. After that, it becomes very difficult because, this time the mother-child, father-child wars begin when it is late. Then there is also the remedy, but it is more difficult. Therefore, parents need to take the impact of social media on their agenda. Let no one be pessimistic. It is a fact that mother and father concept will not be like the old one. The child is no longer growing up on the street in the meadow and social media should not be the child's grandfather. The trick is to spend more and quality time with the child and to establish a quality relationship.".
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)