Firefighter model for anger!
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: “First extinguish it, then investigate its cause”
Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that reactions during anger include behaviors such as sulking, pouting, yelling, calling out, or scolding.
Tarhan stated that "These can be considered as expressions of anger. In anger management training, we try to teach individuals that anger is a natural and human emotion; however, we focus on how to manage this emotion."
Explaining that in anger, a person first feels, then reacts, and finally starts thinking, Tarhan emphasized the need to remain calm. He recommended the firefighter model in dealing with anger.
President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the topic of anger management.
Anger is seen in everyone
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that anger is a human emotion and it is expected to be seen in everyone and stated that “Anger naturally arises even in children. Anger usually occurs when a person feels the need to defend themselves, is under threat, feels fear, or does not feel safe. In this process, the person experiences a feeling, then reacts to it, and the thinking phase comes last. Since it generally starts with a feeling, followed by behavior, and then thinking, a person may make mistakes."
What are the reactions during anger?
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan explained that reactions during anger include behaviors such as sulking, pouting, yelling, calling out, or scolding. Tarhan made the following remarks: “These can be considered as expressions of anger. In anger management training, we try to teach people that anger is a natural and human emotion; however, we also focus on how to cope with this emotion. A person may experience anger and tension when they feel psychologically threatened, when their integrity is challenged, or when certain principles and rules are violated. In such situations, it is important for the person to quickly learn how to analyze the situation. To succeed in anger management, it is essential to develop this skill.”
Fear of being judged can trigger anger!
Prof. Tarhan stated that during anger management, they specifically investigate negative thoughts, beliefs, or fixed judgments, and continued his remarks as follows:
“A person may feel worthless. They might think that they were ignored, rejected, or belittled in a situation. Thoughts like ‘I am not liked, they are belittling me, my efforts are not respected’ might emerge. In some cases, a person may feel anger because they do not want their flaws to be exposed. The fear of being judged can trigger anger. There might be people who react angrily with the fear that ‘my mistakes will be exposed.’ However, this reaction is often not given consciously. These individuals may have a strong belief that they deserve respect. The thought ‘I should be respected by everyone’ can lead them to interpret any negative behavior as disrespect. This is one of the personal causes of anger. Each individual’s cause for anger is unique, and these causes are shaped by the person's past experiences and perceptions.”
What should be done during anger?
Prof. Tarhan explained that in anger, a person first feels, then reacts, and finally starts thinking and said that “When a fire breaks out, the first goal is to extinguish the fire. Then, it is cooled, and finally, the cause is examined. In cases of anger, we need to approach it with the firefighter model. We recommend the firefighter model for anger. First, extinguish it, then investigate its cause.”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan expressed that “Once a person realizes their anger, a solution becomes possible. However, depression can also manifest as anger. This actually shows that anger is like a disease.”
Mood disorders can increase anger
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that if a person has a tendency to mood disorders, this can increase their anger and continued his remarks as follows: “In the early 2000s, when we first introduced magnetic stimulation therapy to Türkiye, a patient who was depressed, did not speak to anyone, did not smile, and did not respond to any medication arrived. We applied neuromodulation therapy, or magnetic stimulation, to this patient. After the treatment, they suddenly became active, but now they began shouting at their spouse. While the woman felt better, her husband angrily said, ‘I was happier with her old state. Now, she is yelling at me.’ In this case, we had to change the treatment. We applied a sleep-regulating treatment, and after about 7-10 sessions, we got results. However, during this process, as emotions became activated, anger also emerged. Especially, their anger towards their spouse became more pronounced. This kind of anger is anger at the disease level”
What is anger with a solution?
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that anger arising in everyday life, work life, or at home is mostly a situation with a solution that can be corrected. Tarhan said that “What is important here is for the person to ask themselves: ‘Which of my principles or values has been violated?’ If a person can analyze their anger and realize the automatic thought that caused the anger, they can manage their emotions in a healthier way. Anger is like nuclear energy; if directed correctly, it protects a person from bad habits and helps them develop. A person who recognizes their anger has actually taken an important step in knowing themselves.”
Anger is a source of energy and needs to be managed correctly
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that some people enjoy making others angry and expressed that “These people provoke the other party, make them make mistakes, and then say, ‘You are the one who is shouting,’ accusing them of their flaws and trying to control them. In such situations, if the person who gets angry notices this game, they will not fall into the trap. However, these behaviors are usually not done consciously; they often emerge with the dynamics in the subconscious. Passive-aggressive people, even if they do not do it intentionally, make the other person angry and feel relieved this way. Anger is a controllable emotion. In fact, anger management is a matter of energy management. Anger is a source of energy and needs to be managed correctly. Anger, sexuality, and intellect are some of the basic life energies in humans. However, having these energies at two extremes is harmful, neither the excess nor the complete absence of them is healthy. What is important is to use these energies in a balanced way.”
Participation seizures in children are an anger seizure…
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out the problem of anger control at an early age and continued his remarks as follows: “Especially in children, it can manifest as participation seizures. These seizures are actually anger seizures. The child enters a participation seizure when they don't get something they want, and over time, they learn this behavior. This situation is commonly seen before the age of 3-5, especially before 3 years old. However, participation seizures can sometimes be confused with epilepsy. During these seizures, the child has difficulty accepting an undesirable situation and experiences a crisis. If the parents cannot manage this situation correctly and fulfill every wish of the child, this behavior is reinforced and becomes a learned behavior. What is important here is to be able to say ‘no’ to the child in a calming way. It is necessary to comfort the child by patting their head, but at the same time, not fulfilling every wish. In this way, the child will eventually give up this behavior.”
“Every event that angers us is, in a way, like changing our shell”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that there are differences between the emotional reactions of male and female brain and added that “When a man is upset, he usually expresses it with anger, while women express their sadness more directly, by crying. A man’s anger is actually a sign that he has been hurt. We can liken this situation to the behavior of a wounded pet. A wounded animal does not react because it dislikes you, but because it fears being hurt or does not want anyone to approach it. It is important to understand and handle a man’s anger in this context.”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also noted that situations like anger and fragility are opportunities for a person to know and improve themselves and said that “Every event that angers us is, in a way, like changing our shell; it is an opportunity for growth and change. Therefore, we encourage individuals to develop a two-way perspective during moments of anger.”
‘Broken cookie phenomenon’…
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that many arguments and anger are based on much deeper emotional dynamics than the reasons seen on the surface, and Tarhan stated that “I remember a case in couple therapy. The topic of the argument was whether to buy a 6-pack or an 8-pack of toilet paper at the shopping mall. Imagine, such a simple topic turned into anger. In psychology, this is called the ‘broken cookie phenomenon.’ If people are already in a mood to argue, they can start a discussion by even saying, ‘Why is this cookie broken?’ In such situations, the important thing is to solve the emotion behind the scene. Caring for the other person's feelings and making them feel valued reduces tension in relationships. In close relationships, good thoughts (good intent) should be the rule, and bad thoughts (bad intent) should be the exception. This approach is especially easier to apply in relationships where honesty and no lies are present.”
Negative thoughts form automatically in the mind
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that negative thoughts usually form automatically in the human mind and stated that “The human brain perceives negative thoughts six times faster than positive thoughts. This is because our brains are naturally programmed to focus on survival. Like all living beings, the human brain focuses on protecting itself by noticing the threats around it. That is why we usually see the negative side of an event first. However, people who develop themselves and train their mental processes can immediately see the positive side after noticing the negative and choose to act positively. This is a human-specific skill called mentalization. Mentalization allows a person to understand negative thoughts and transform them into a positive outlook. Developing this skill directly impacts a person’s quality of life and relationships.”
As a society, we are very angry…
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan concluded his remarks as follows: “Unfortunately, as a society, we have become very angry. Yet, the solutions to these problems are quite simple; however, we need to invest some time and effort into these matters. Is investing in oneself less important than investing in material goods and money? Definitely not. The investment we make in ourselves will be the most valuable investment both individually and socially.”
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)