Prof. Tarhan: "Privacy education is the education of learning the limits of life..."

Noting that children receive their first education in the family, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that today, privacy education is given as sexual education, and sex education actually constitutes 20 percent of privacy education. Pointing out that the child who learns what the rules of life are in the family becomes a responsible child, Tarhan noted that the child who does not learn these limits cannot have self-confidence or can be a child who does not know their limits, are irresponsible and spoiled child. Tarhan stated that privacy education is an education to learn the limits of life.

Prof. Nevzat Tarha stated that "Ideal education is education with universal values. Many human values such as keeping your word, not lying, being helpful, being compassionate, sharing are taught by saying that this should be in this way because you are human, and this should be the way it is by nature."

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the issue of privacy perception in children.

Privacy refers to a person's boundaries and private space

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the concept of privacy refers to the boundaries and private space of a person and said that the word privacy etymologically comes from the root of reverence, deprivation, and haram.

Prof. Tarhan said that "Being able to keep a very private subject that a person tells you as a secret also falls under privacy," and continued his remarks as follows: "When it comes to privacy, there has been a bit of a narrowing of meaning. Only sexual intimacy is understood. In fact, privacy education is a person's education in moral norms. That is, there are social norms, there are legal norms. There are social norms that protect us.”

Humans are evolving socially

Noting that the first education given to a child in the family, Prof. Tarhan said that respecting someone else's privacy, family privacy, and home privacy is a feature of humanity and is not found in any living thing other than humans.

Stating that apes would not be able to learn morality and privacy even if they lived among humans for a thousand years, Prof. Tarhan said that "Because their brains were not created according to that, with that tendency. The human brain was created with that tendency. The human brain does not evolve genetically and biologically after birth, it evolves socially. That's why the concept of evolution has changed now. You know, what we call evolution is always born as a wild child."

If the family learns what the rules of life are, the child becomes a responsible child

Stating that gender has been assigned but sexual identity has been acquired, Prof. Tarhan said that "Female and male identities have been acquired. Social identities and social roles are determined by cultures. Biological marriage is cultural. Therefore, these things are being learned. A child should have a duties, responsibilities, social boundaries, relationship boundaries, and a regular environment of the family in accordance with their age, ability, gender. If the family learns what the rules of life are, the child becomes a responsible child and a self-confident child. A child who does not learn these limits cannot have self-confidence or becomes an unlimited, irresponsible, spoiled child."

In some cultures, you cannot love the other person's child without their permission

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "In some cultures, you cannot love the other party's child without permission, they accept this as violence and harassment. In other words, without the permission of their mother and father... We love it right away without realizing it. It is normal in our culture, but in theirs, it is crossing the line of privacy. Children learns to protect their own privacy, but also learns that someone else's privacy must be respected. Children need to learn both."

Tarhan: "The school has conditions and rules. The house has conditions and rules."

Noting that the child who does not grow up with rules at home thinks this is normal and tries to do the same at school, Prof. Tarhan continued his remarks as follows: "The school has conditions and rules. The house has conditions and rules. These are not genetics; however, they are learned later. These things need to be taught to the child. The task of the mother and father is not to try to make the child happy, but to prepare the child for life. To prepare them for the difficulties of life, to teach them where to stand against life, where and how to behave... Like learning to drive a car, you need to be taught to manage life. Parents need to teach the child to be the captain of their own ship."

Even parents should not touch it without the child's permission

Let's not just understand privacy in relation to the genitals, it is very simple. In order to avoid sexual harassment and so on, we say to the child, since the concept of sexuality has not developed at a young age, parents should say, 'Even I should not touch the organs where your underwear is without your permission'. So if the child finds out about it, and if someone else touches it, they say 'No.'"

Tarhan: "We see that the child is not hyperactive, but the child is spoiled. The child does not know social boundaries."

Emphasizing that this education should be given in the family, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said:

"If it is supported in neighborly relations, in the neighborhood and in the social environment, it will be strengthened. If it is supported at school, it will be strengthened. Otherwise, a child cannot adapt at school. There is a kid wandering between the desks. They bring him to us because the child is hyperactive, we see that the child is not hyperactive, he is spoiled. He does not know social boundaries, and he does not know where to stop. He always wants to have things his way. For example, he has always been the leader of the house. Such children do not know anyone else's privacy. He takes and uses someone else's belongings without permission."

Stating that learning to be respectful is related to the level of development, Prof. Tarhan said that "Being respectful to different ideas is the highest level of development. Europe has learned this through the ordeal of the Middle Ages."

Tarhan: "Privacy education is given as sex education..."

Explaining that the rate of non-Muslims in İstanbul was 44 percent in the census held in 1894 in the Ottoman Empire, that relations continued by respecting the borders, and then there were problems when the power of the Ottoman Empire weakened, Prof. Tarhan said that "The Japanese only teach their social values for the first three years in primary school, they teach their own cultural values. Literacy is taught in the background. We cannot do that. Children are becoming more irresponsible, more disrespectful. The reason for this is that our education system is not suitable for our culture. Privacy education is given as sex education. Sex education is 20 percent of privacy education. 80 percent are other areas. Previously, there were rules of etiquette. Now it is gone.”

When should privacy training be introduced?

Stating that privacy education should be given from the moment the child is born, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said, "For example, while loving the child, you should not love his butt. If you love her butt, she makes her butt an object of affection. She likes it as her butt is caressed. He thinks it's a sexual object. They play with the child's. Parents say, show your uncle, son. These are actually the wrong teaching of privacy to the child. They make 8-10-year-old children drink alcohol and give them cigarettes because they have grown up to be a man."

Explaining what should be done to say, "From the moment children start walking, they will be taught 'This is your toy, don't take this sister's toy without her permission', the parents will not take the items in her room without her permission, the child's room and drawer will not be mixed without her permission, the child's room will be entered by banging on the door," Prof. Tarhan said, adding that when this happens, the child will respect the privacy of the mother and father by saying 'they respect my privacy'.

Children should be raised at a young age according to cultural values

Stating that when children are raised at a young age according to cultural values, there will not be much trouble when they grow up, Prof. Tarhan said that "Children do it on their own. All of a sudden, you have gone through puberty, by the time you say do this, it is too late. It will be done to make the child love at a young age."

Stating that the West provides education by sanctifying the rules, Prof. Tarhan said that "However, ideal education is education with universal values. Many human values such as keeping your word, not lying, being helpful, compassionate, sharing are taught by saying that this should be the way it should be because you are human, this should be the way it is by nature. Respecting the rights of others, protecting one's own rights, and protecting one's own privacy is actually empathy training. Empathy training is called 'altruism' in our culture. We did not use the word 'altruism', we forgot about it, the word empathy replaced it. Empathy also replaces it, of course, it is useful to use it. A person who can look at others' rights and needs from their perspective can learn privacy. Privacy education is the education to learn the limits of life. Not doing to others what I do not want to be done to them..."

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)