Those who did not do the marriage maturity scale should not get married…
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan's second stop within the scope of Ankara programs was TDF Women, Family and Youth Center. Tarhan, who met with the people of Ankara within the scope of the Mother and Father School project, said that if one is a good spouse, children can automatically grow up well. Emphasizing that strictness of thought and bad suspicion in marriages harm marriage, Tarhan stated that couples who are preparing for marriage should definitely apply the marriage maturity scale. Tarhan stated that "Those who do not measure the maturity of marriage should not get married."
President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan's second stop was the Türkiye Diyanet Foundation (TDF) after the 'Father School' Seminars of the General Directorate of Religious Services, Family and Religious Guidance Department. Tarhan participated in the "Mother and Father School" Program organized by TDV Women, Family and Youth Center. In the interview held at the TDF Conference Hall, Tarhan made important evaluations on the subject of "Psychological Preparation for Being a Parent".
If you are a good spouse, the child automatically grows up well...
Saying that you will first be a good person, a good spouse and then a good parent, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated "When you manage to be a good wife, children will automatically grow up well because the child models the parents and the relationship between them..."
The children, whose parents does whatever they, wants to see their parents as a tree bearing fruit to shake it off...
Pointing out that children do not adopt the imperious language in today's world, where the culture of communication, not obedience, is important, Tarhan said that parents should show consistency in raising children. Drawing attention to the importance of common attitudes and behaviors as parents, Tarhan noted that if the parents use a different language about an event, the child can use it skillfully. Emphasizing that this inconsistency of the parents is actually an educational error, Tarhan stated that the children, whose parents does whatever they, wants to see their parents as a tree bearing fruit to shake it off....
Pointing out that one of the wrong parental attitudes is occupying, helicopter mothers and fathers, Tarhan said that it is necessary to be parents with ideals and rules. Stating that being disciplined does not mean military discipline, Tarhan said that children who grow up in regulated and disciplined families grow up as more successful and responsible children.
One should not take sides in a sibling fight...
Drawing attention to the issue of possible jealousy between siblings, Tarhan stated that parents should be fair and righteous. Stating that motherhood and fatherhood require fairness, Tarhan said that "Sibling competition is good in one aspect. It is like a boatman's fight... They argue, and they fight, but then they solve the problem by maintaining their love and thus develop problem-solving skills. Here, parents should be able to leave the children alone... When someone takes sides, then the problem is not solved. Jealousy and competition are triggered..."
Commenting on the competition and arguments between spouses, Tarhan said that a man or a woman is not superior to the other, on the contrary, the sides complement each other. Saying that love is not a cause in marriage, but a result, Tarhan stated that good cooperation is essential in marriage.
Strictness of thought harms marriage...
Stating that the strictness of thought and stubbornness that may occur between spouses harms the marriage, Tarhan said that "Strictness of thought, most commonly stubbornness, can cause serious damage to marriage. In fact, it is one of the biggest enemies of marriage. Unfortunately, people who lack mental flexibility and are stubborn cannot empathize... These people have poor emotional literacy and lack empathy. And their egos are very inflated. I can safely say that unfortunately, the biggest organs of the people of the 21st century are their egos... In possible arguments within the family, a couple discuss as ‘it is your mother, it is my mother’... It is very important that they can meet in the golden middle without arguing..."
Bad suspicion, the beginning of paranoia...
Emphasizing that another enemy of marriage is bad suspicion, Tarhan said that bad suspicion, defined as the beginning of paranoia, is one of the wrong thought patterns.
Those who do not measure the maturity of marriage should get married…
Stating that marriage maturity is very important for a happy and healthy marriage, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan added that people who do not have marriage maturity and do not apply the marriage maturity scale should get married. Emphasizing that the obligation of fidelity is also very important in marriage, Tarhan noted that there should be a preparation for motherhood and fatherhood. Saying that marriage is a journey of life, Tarhan stated that couples should act with a focus on the future of marriage, not individually, and in a self-interested and selfish way.
Saying that a problem-free and trouble-free marriage would be nice, but this is not possible, Tarhan emphasized that couples should develop problem-solving skills in case of problems and negativity.
Tarhan also signed his books for his readers...
After the program, which attracted a lot of participation, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also signed the books of the participants.
Please click here for the marriage maturity scale (in Turkish):
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)