Dr. Tayyab Rashid: "The secret that is revealed by itself has a bombshell effect"

At the 6th International Congress of Positive Psychology, which was organized with the theme of 'Positive Psychology in Interpersonal Relationships' and held with the participation of world-renowned scientists, the "Guest of Honor" Dr. Tayyab Rashid from the University of Melbourne discussed the topic of "Trajectories of Positive Relationships".
Pointing out that 97 percent of people have at least one secret in their relationship, and that individuals have 13 secrets on average according to studies, Dr. Tayyab Rashid said that the price of a secret kept for a long time can be heavy. Drawing attention to the importance of open and transparent communication between couples, Rashid added that the secret that is revealed by itself can have a bombshell effect.

The International Positive Psychology Congress has ended, which was held for the 6th time this year by Üsküdar University in partnership with Üsküdar University, NPİSTANBUL Hospital, NP Etiler & Feneryolu Medical Center, Turkish Psychological Counseling and Guidance Association and Positive Psychology Institute. The theme of this year's congress, which hosted global experts working in the field and lasted for 2 days at Üsküdar University Central Campus Nermin Tarhan Conference Hall, was determined as "Positive Psychology in Interpersonal Relations".

The "Guest of Honor" Dr. Tayyab Rashid from the University of Melbourne spoke about the positive relationships

The "Guest of Honor" of the congress, Dr. Tayyab Rashid from the University of Melbourne, discussed the topic of "Trajectories of Positive Relationships". Dr. Rashid stated that if emotions are not shared in relationships, the relationship is not enjoyed, which affects the relationships badly, and evaluated the effect of the secrets that the parties keep from each other in relationships on the relationship. Rashid expressed that "Research shows that 97 percent of people have at least one secret in their relationship. On average, individuals have 13 secrets. The parties generally tend to keep their secrets from each other because they think that if they share their secret, it will affect their relationship adversely. One worries that if they share their secret with their partner, it will make the person fragile or that their partner's reaction will be destructive. That's why secrets are not shared."

A secret kept for a long time comes at a heavy price...

Dr. Tayyab Rashid, however noted that research shows that if a secret is shared with a partner, there is more understanding than expected, and emphasized that the price of keeping secrets for a long time will be heavier.

The secret that has been revealed by itself has the effect of a bomb

Pointing out the importance of open communication in relationships, Dr. Tayyab Rashid said that happiness cannot be built only by talking about positive things, and that it is important to be able to talk about difficult issues and share them with your partner.

Dr. Tayyab Rashid expressed that "When secrets are revealed by itself, it creates a bombshell effect. However, they give their partner time to digest that secret if the parties share that secret themselves with open communication. Sharing brings the parties closer together. Thus, expectations can be controlled and trust is built. Expectations are being recalibrated. Everyone can have fragile and weak sides. The way the secret is shared is also very important here. If it is shared in a secure framework, it strengthens the relationship. We said that the secret should be shared within a secure framework. One of the methods for this can be open-air, nature walks, which can be an opportunity for detailed conversations..." Explaining the importance of "empathetic listening" between the parties, Dr. Tayyab Rashid stated that "If vulnerabilities and sadness are not shared, the relationship cannot be strengthened. It is not healthy to keep secrets and keep secrets..."

"Growing and developing together in marriages and relational self-development are important"

Noting that people change and develop compared to the previous year, Dr. Tayyab Rashid stated that "The person we are this year will not be the person we were last year. We must learn to love a person who is constantly changing. People change. Studies show that passionate loves are more fragile. It is difficult to maintain passionate relationships that are healthy, to maintain passionate feelings. Over time, passion may decrease... Again, research shows that the result is remarkable, half of the divorces are not high, on the contrary, they are seen in low-conflict relationships. In other words, the first reason for divorce is not conflict, but the lack of romantic passion. That's why it is so important to participate in new and exciting experiences in relationships together. Growing and developing together and relational self-development are important in marriages. Personal development and relational development should be together and integrated." Emphasizing the importance of knowing, understanding and recognizing the partner in relationships, Dr. Tayyab Rashid expressed that "Open communication is also important here. Relate to your partner about your personal experiences. Be courteous and attentive in all situations. Talk about the positive aspects of your relationship."

Sometimes having too much time is a stress factor!

Drawing attention to the lack of time for well-being, Dr. Tayyab Rashid said that research shows that not using time efficiently can cause stress for positive relationships, not lack of time. Dr. Rashid expressed that "Sometimes having too much time can be a stressor.” Stating that it is also important to establish a balance in time for a healthy relationship, Dr. Rashid also noted that couples allocating their free time to productive activities will transform and develop people.

Advice to couples to put aside the search for perfection...

Stating that it is necessary for people to accept the problematic aspects of themselves and their partners for a positive relationship, Dr. Tayyab Rashid made the following suggestions to couples: "Put aside the search for perfection. Gratitude is very important. A small expression of appreciation is important. To be forgiving and to be able to share experiences." Emphasizing that happiness does not only mean buying the latest phone, Dr. Tayyab Rashid stated that small laughter and conversations between couples, watering a small sapling, paying for the coffee of a person you do not know, respecting nature, hugging will also make you feel happy, and said that it is not necessary to look strong as we have always been taught. Expressing that spirituality is also important in his research in positive psychology. Dr. Rashid emphasized the importance of having rituals and the healing power of spirituality rather than an abstract spirituality. Rashid also noted that systems of spirituality need to be explored.

Dr. Tayyab Rashid was presented with a plaque after his speech.

On the second day of the congress, pilot applications were discussed

At the congress, Assoc. Prof. Aliriza Arenliu from the University of Pristina made a presentation on "Ruminations and Depression: Development and Pilot Implementation of Rumination-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Interventions for Ambulatory Public Mental Health Services in Kosovo".

"Modern Psychotraumatology" panel was held

In the panel on "Modern Psychotraumatology", Prof. Erdinç Öztürk from İstanbul University made a presentation on "Modern Psychotraumatology and Dyssoanalysis Theory", Psychologist Görkem Derin made a presentation on "Trauma-Centered Wedding Ring Model Therapy", Dr. Psychologist Barış Erdoğan made a presentation on "Developmental Migration", and Instructor Kerem Çetinkaya discussed the topics of "Natural and Guide Parenting Style".

Within the scope of the congress, Prof. Rahime Nükhet Çıkrıkçı from Üsküdar University gave a conference on "Basic Principles and Standards in the Adaptation of Psychological Tests", and Assoc. Prof. Çiğdem Yavuz Güler gave a conference on "Well-being of the Relationship: How do I stand or fall by?".

"Positive Psychology in Family Relations" panel was held

In the panel titled "Positive Psychology in Family Relations", Clinical Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy from NPİSTANBUL Hospital made a speech titled "Couple Relationship in the Context of Positive Psychology and Psychotherapy", Prof. Gül Eryılmaz made a speech titled "Positive Relationships in the Family" and Dr. Psychologist Z. Aslı Başabak Bhais made a speech titled "Positive Parenting and Healthy Boundaries in the Family".

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)