Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: "Instead of opposing artificial intelligence, we should learn to use it for the right purpose"

President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan was the guest of VakıfBank's 'V Meets' talks. In the interview, which was attended by VakıfBank employees across Türkiye, Tarhan made remarkable statements under the title of "Communicating with New Generations". Stating that digitalization also affects the communication of the new generation born in digital technology, Tarhan emphasized that children turn to social media as a method to reduce stress. Stating that young people due to social isolation feel lonely today, Tarhan added that the sacred of the age is the pursuit of pleasure. Tarhan reminded that we should not be afraid of developing technology and underlined that instead of opposing artificial intelligence, we should learn to use it for the right purpose.

The online interview, moderated by Journalist Şaban Özdemir, attracted a lot of interest from Vakıf Bank employees from all over Türkiye. In the interview, Tarhan also answered the questions of the participants.

"The cause of loneliness is social isolation"

Pointing out that loneliness increases as a result of social isolation, President of Üsküdar University Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that "Communication has had a very different importance in relationship development. What attracts our attention the most in communication problems is that there is a lot of social isolation. The cause of loneliness is social isolation. Young people feel lonely... They are alone, but they are not aware of it. They did not know life, and they were suddenly born into social media. Since they were born into social media, this has become their normal. They talk to everyone on social media, and they do it by changing their own identity. The identity of the other party is also unknown, this is how a communication is established. They can be exposed to very unsafe things in their homes, which are seen as safe on social media platforms. With this result, psychological problems in young people have increased a lot. Running away from home, using drugs, taking guns to school, various peer bullying and so on... This situation has also increased in Türkiye, and it has started to be talked about on a current basis."

"Cohabitation has replaced marriage"

Stating that the new generation of youth finds it more appealing to live together instead of getting married, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "Young people say, 'Why should I get married and bother, I can live how I like.' Cohabitation is very common in young people, and they live in the same house. Cohabitation has replaced marriage. Extramarital birth rates are very high in societies that we describe as developed in Western societies, which are economically developed but culturally experiencing a very serious drift. Now the new generations do not want marriage. As a result, the habit of living together increases."

Social media negatively affects the developmental steps of the child...

Underlining that children should have access to the information they need on social media, Prof. Tarhan said that "Just as social media affects voter behavior, it also negatively affects a child's developmental stages. It negatively affects the steps of psychosocial development. For example, there is a period when the child learns abstract thinking and sexuality. In each period, children need to encounter the information they need and can perceive according to their spiritual level and mental capacity. Children encounter information that is not suitable for their developmental steps. As a result, various behavioral problems arise when children encounter information that is not suitable for their age and mental development."

"Children turn to social media as a method to reduce stress"

Emphasizing that children learn violence in three ways, Prof. Tarhan stated that "The most learned thing is live violence, violence between husbands and wives or against children, also called domestic violence within the family, from first-degree relatives. If these exist, the child models it. If the child is exposed to live violence, the child takes it as an example and adopts it more easily. Second-degree violence is violence influenced by television. Thirdly, there is cartoon-influenced violence. If the family environment is warm, if it is a safe space for the child, if it is like a shelter, the child will gladly come home from school. However, if it feels like the child is coming to court on the way home, if the child is being judged all the time, if the child does not feel safe at home, those children are more likely to turn to social media as a way to reduce stress. Home is not a safe space for stressed and anxious children. The most common stress reduction techniques are social media for children. The second most common reason is loose discipline in the family. Loose discipline is the system that allows everything in the raising the child. A very liberal and unruly family environment is formed. The house should be a place with rules. When there is a loose discipline environment, breakfasts are not eaten together, meals are not eaten together, spending time together would be much less, the house is used as a hotel, no one interacts with anyone. In an environment where extreme libertarianism, limitlessness and irresponsibility are mixed with libertarianism, the child who grows up in a loosely disciplined environment learns from social media because the child cannot learn the good, the right, the beautiful and the wrong from the mother."

"If we use life capital in a good way, we will be among the winners"

Pointing out that children should be taught to live with rules until the age of ten, Tarhan said that "After the age of ten, the child begins to become individual. Despite their parents, the child is trying to exist in life, to search for their own identity. They are trying to overcome the confusion of identity. It is necessary to teach children to live by rules until the age of ten. It is necessary to teach budget management, those who can manage money can manage their lives. If you know your purpose, you can manage your financial resources, your budget. A person who does not know their purpose cannot manage their budget. The strategic target will be determined, it will draw the road map and make its strategic accumulations accordingly. It will increase the input control and increase the pool, control the output control. The family budget and the state budget are not different, it is necessary to teach the child this at a young age. Just as the bank's budget is managed, we need to manage psychological capital, social capital, time capital and life capital in the same way. If we use life capital in a good way, we will be one of the winners, and if we use it badly, we will be one of the losers."

"Saying break the chains, tear down the walls, live however you like is not freedom, but irresponsibility"

Noting that the means, the means, are the intermediate steps that lead people to the goal, Tarhan stated that "Let's give our children an ego ideal that will be labored, tired, strived and suffered in their lives. What kind of person do you want to be when you come to the end of your life, what kind of mark do you want to leave?' Having a house and a car… These are goals as tools but there are also goal with an aim, and they are really high goals. High goals aim at what kind of person you will be at the end of life. Means, on the other hand, are intermediate steps that lead to the goal. It is nice to just want to have a house and a car, but these are not the ego ideals. They are just the means to the ego ideal. If we teach these things to our child, our child will say, 'My purpose was this, I was going to go there, so I should not get stuck in this,’ when something wrong happens to that child, when the desire to do something wrong passes. In other words, the real freedom is to be able to say no to the seductive desires and impulses within us. The saying 'break the chains, tear down the walls, live however you like' is not freedom, but irresponsibility."

"Instead of opposing artificial intelligence, let's use it for the right purpose"

Stating that we should use technology for a certain purpose, Prof. Tarhan expressed that "Right now, AI is surprising scientists. When you connect to the Internet, your artificial intelligence is confronted with information like a library. Whatever you ask, it is something that answers everything, and we cannot prevent it. On the contrary, the technology itself is neutral. Instead of opposing this, we need to make an effort to use it for good and right purposes, for a specific purpose. The winds help the ship with a clear purpose; however, it drags the ships that does not have a clear purpose. They say that the wind always blows the kite, but it is the position it takes against the wind that makes the kite fly. Our position against artificial intelligence will be decisive. It will show whether we are using it in our favor or against us. Therefore, instead of opposing artificial intelligence, let's use artificial intelligence for the right purpose."

"A stress-free life is a conformist life"

Stating that zero stress is not possible, Prof. Tarhan said that "Some parents want to raise a child without stress, but this is not possible. A stress-free life is a conformist life, and the person who stays in the comfort zone does not develop, but one becomes blunt. When our brain stays in the comfort zone, the reproductive factor does not move in the brain, and when it cannot produce a growth factor, the growth cell cannot reproduce. When the growth cell cannot reproduce, the brain also migrates, forming pathways in the brain. As long as there is no stimulus to the brain, as long as it is in a comfortable area, the brain always remains the same, and one of the biggest causes of Alzheimer's is the lack of stimuli and loneliness. Therefore, controlled stress is beneficial. If you use it in a controlled way, such as riding a bicycle, you will get closer to the goal, and your muscles and nerves will work and you will get closer to the target. If you do not use it at all, you will not learn to ride a bike, and you will not improve at all, but if you use it uncontrollably in a hurry, you will tumble. In the same way in life, controlling stress is beneficial. You will comfort your child with the ability to stay calm under stress. Being a parent is not about being perfect; however, it is about parents who teach their children how to live under stress in a cold-blooded way."

The primary requirement for listening is to be an active listener

Pointing out that listening behavior is also very effective in healthy communication, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "The primary requirement for listening is to be an active listener, which means that a person seems to be listening to someone; however, you see that they are thinking about their response. This is not being a listener. According to the principle of emotional communicating vessels for the person to be a listener. If the water level is high in a place, if they come into contact with each other, these water levels will be equalized after a while. The psychological needs of the human being also work in such unified containers. A person has a psychological need for a subject, and you have the knowledge to respond to that psychological need. If you communicate empathetically with the other party with that information set, your information set will pass to the other side, and if a person wants to learn, one will take the information from that person who knows and start teaching it themselves. Therefore, the channels in between must be open. It is important to question this, but it is necessary not to be judgmental. Questioning and being judgmental are different. In the judgment, one says "I know", and they approach the other party critically; however, in the interrogation, a person approaches to understand. If you approach the other party without judging to understand them, they will learn something, and you also will learn something. On the other hand, if you approach by judging, looking down and questioning, you will not learn anything, but only a sense of defense will develop."

"Being open to criticism is part of empathy"

Referring to the concept of empathic learning, Prof. Tarhan stated that "Mistakes are part of perfection in the universe. Where there are mistakes, there is improvement. It is very important to be open to criticism. The emotional transfer of empathy is to be open to criticism from the very beginning, and if narcissistic people are open to criticism, they overcome their narcissism. A person who is not open to criticism walks around with their ego as their biggest organ, and they cannot develop at all. Being open to criticism is part of empathy. Empathic learning is to look at the subject from the other party's window and learn in that way, putting oneself in one's place but preserving one's own identity. It is important to be open to criticism, so the first condition of empathetic learning is to be active listening, and the second step is to be open to criticism."

"The sacred of this age has become the pursuit of pleasure"

Emphasizing that people who can manage their pleasures can be successful in this age, Tarhan expressed that "We are now living in an age of pleasure and greed. The pursuit of pleasure, the sacred of this age, has become hedonism. Wars of the sacred are fought over hedonism. Therefore, one who can manage their pleasure and desires will be successful in such an age. Those who want to satisfy their pleasures immediately and do not want to postpone them will lose. People who are able to postpone pleasures and desires will achieve their goals better in this age. In other words, it is more important to be able to educate young people in this direction, thus we need to teach children, young people and ourselves not only mathematical skills and mental skills, but also social and emotional skills."

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)