Prof. Tarhan: "A person with a big ego cannot be happy!"

Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that "A person with a big ego cannot be happy," and added that success is in inner peace and said that "People who have real success are people with inner peace. There are people who think of themselves as big and arrogant, who fight with the threshold of the door."

Stating that health is a physical comfort and well-being, Prof. Tarhan said that "Well-being is psychological comfort and welfare. Together, there is peace when there is health and well-being."

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the issue of peace and its importance in human life.

Tarhan: "The word peace has a cultural dimension"

Pointing out that the word peace does not have an exact cultural equivalent in English, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "It is translated into Turkish as (happiness, subjective well-being), but the word peace as we understand in the word peace is different from the word peace in western culture. That's why the word peace has a cultural dimension."

Noting that western culture identifies the word peace with happiness, but the happiness there is also pleasure-oriented and excitement-seeking, Prof. Tarhan stated that "They did not conceptualize it because they did not feel the need because they think of happiness and peace as pleasure-oriented..."

Explaining that humanism, which emerged as a reaction against the Christian culture that 'devalues human beings and considers them innately sinful', is a human-oriented, human-centered structure that sanctifies people, makes people self-centered, and inflates the ego of self-centered people, Prof. Tarhan continued his remarks as follows:

Tarhan: "A person with a big ego cannot be happy"

"A person with a big ego cannot be happy. The model of the pleasure-seeking human being was defined. What we call constantly stimulated affect, that is, constant excitement. In America, they rejoice at the slightest thing. He rejoices in everything and excessive manifestation of emotions is made. As such, a person is constantly looking for excitement. This time, they completely deny negative emotions, and a philosophy emerges that ignores negative emotions. However, negative emotions are also a fact of human life. It is necessary to manage these two, and when you cannot manage this, a hedonistic philosophy emerges.

Rejecting the negative, rejecting pain, avoiding pain, and turning to pleasure are the philosophy of the West right now. In such cases, this philosophy neglects inner peace and seeks external satisfaction. They are looking for external happiness, that is, ‘if you do this, you will be happy. If you earn that, you will be happy.’ That is, they have focused success on being rich. However, success is in inner peace. The people who have the real success are the ones who have inner peace. There are people who consider themselves big, arrogant, who fight with the threshold of the door. Is this person successful? Rich but not happy, there are a lot of people like that in the West."

Tarhan: "People living in the past cannot be happy and peaceful"

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that it is important to live in the moment, not to live in the moment, and said that people who are stuck in the past, who constantly wish in the past, and who lived the event that happened five or ten years ago as if it happened yesterday, cannot be happy and peaceful.

Noting that those who are worried about the future 'if this happens to me in 2 months' cannot be peaceful, Prof. Tarhan said, "People are crushed under the words "I wish" and "I wonder". A peaceful person evaluates the past, draws lessons, looks to the future, makes a plan, but lives the present at peace with himself. For this reason, the word living at peace with oneself expresses the word peace very well. In fact, this is called authentic happiness in the happiness premium."

'My hands are tied, but my soul is not...'

Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan explained that Mevlana went to a patient with mental illness and said that 'Your hands are tied, but you are very cheerful, how is it possible?' and the patient laughed and said, 'My hands are tied, but my soul is not, I am very happy.'

A life without sadness is not possible

Tarhan mentioned that Mevlana saw his son very sad and depressed, and when he put the wolf's skin on his head and pretended to be a wolf, his son said, 'Dad, you made me laugh', and Mevlana said, 'I did not do it to make you laugh. The wolf is normally a scary animal, you laughed because you knew it was me behind the hide. In fact, the things behind your suffering are not all real. You see through your sadness. I did it to make you see that your sadness is not worth being sad about.' Explaining what he said, Prof. Tarhan said that "It allows him to analyze sadness correctly with a great metaphor because a life without sadness is not possible."

Tarhan: "We have become so self-centered..."

Drawing attention to the insensitivity of some segments towards the events in Gaza and the events in the region, Prof. Tarhan stated that "People avoid confrontation. We have become quite self-centered, and we look through our own window... A person looks at this and thinks with pain, but one accepts the pain related to it. Well, the meaning of peace is to accept the pain first, and then to manage the pain. Should we sit down and cry in such situations? No, it is not crying. What should I do here? What is my part here? One does something by saying these questions and feels part of a great meaning and feels peace. Then you can look at everything holistically and look at everything universally. Then you can find peace.”

Tarhan: "Even in the worst environment, people can manage to be peaceful"

Tarhan said that for interpreting the events in Gaza correctly, it is necessary to think as "What is my duty? What falls on our country? What is in the plan of destiny? "What is the message of fate to us?". Prof. Tarhan stated that, "Sometimes there are such good speeches. One speaker said that ‘Islam is looking for a new geography.’ For example, this is to make sense of this event correctly and to improve one's point of view. What is the plan of the creator of this universe? It gives you peace of mind to be able to look at such events. That's why people manage to be peaceful even in the worst environment. To be able to find peace is not to run away from pain and the negative. It is to deal with the positive and the negative together, to learn lessons from there and to do something towards the positive."

Tarhan: "When you reach the self you should be, you find peace"

Noting that people have a real self and a self that they want to be an ideal self, Prof. Tarhan said that "There is also a thing that should be... We cannot always reach the ideal self. Maintaining the balance between those three selves... Because the ideal self is not realistic. When one reaches the self they should be, a person finds peace. For this, one must go on one's own inner journey and get to know oneself. By giving oneself to fun, in the sense of joy and enjoyment, let there always be joy and enjoyment, knock and play. This is not peace.”

'Wellbeing', that is, 'Being welfare’...

Noting that the state in which the brain secretes serotonin more is called a relaxing mood, Prof. Tarhan said, "There is active affect. Relaxing affectivity and safe affect. Managing these three emotions together at the same time is peace. Not only focusing on someone, but also being safe and living in the safety of your home, disconnected from the world, does not give you peace of mind. We will succeed in activating the balance of these three chemicals from creation in our brains. In fact, we will be like a chemist to ourselves. It is called subjective well-being or peace, or 'Wellbeing' is now referred to in the literature. Kindness and well-being. In other words, in our literature, the Turkish equivalent is actually ‘May Allah give health and welfare', the word ‘welfare’ there...."

Tarhan: "You will accept mistakes, but you will manage them"

Prof. Tarhan stated that health is a bodily comfort and well-being and said:

"Welfare is psychological comfort, well-being. This is how it is mentioned in the literature, when these two are together, there is peace when there is health and well-being because it is not easy at all in a diseased person. However, it is necessary to be like Prophet Job, that is, not to lose peace despite that illness. That is also the great test. Something that only the prophets were able to achieve. For example, the word serenity is a word close to peace. You can stay calm in the storms. Tranquility is quiet, but to be able to remain silent in such a hurry. It is also called equanimity. It is more in the style of calmness. So that is why the first condition for this is acceptance. You will accept, accepting is not surrendering. You will admit wrongs, but you will manage it. However, before that, your ego will be your ideal in your life. The ideal of the ego, which we call the ideal self, will be worked for, tired, suffered, endured. In other words, like a colorful shadow, it runs away as you try to catch it, but if you go to its target, it will come after you by itself. Therefore, happiness or peace is both. For example, when you say I will be peaceful, you will not. Self-compassion, that is, being compassionate to oneself. Some people are complaining, altruistic, always giving. They struggle, but they are not happy. That's where self-compassion is not developed."

Tarhan: "The measure of gratitude is contentment..."

Referring to the word gratitude, Prof. Tarhan said that "In the literature, peace is referred to as appreciating what they have. A sense of contentment... The measure of gratitude is contentment. A person who has contentment is grateful. To be able to be happy with the little things. When you achieve this, you fulfill the conceptual meaning of gratitude, this feeling exists in the sense of gratitude towards the one who gave you that blessing."

Explaining that the feeling of gratitude makes people feel good, Prof. Tarhan said, "When we look at people who cannot be happy, I deserve everything, those people like me do not have the ability to be happy with small things. It is necessary to learn this, and another is that what hinders happiness is the one who wants to change the world, their home, their child. Instead of changing the world, let's change ourselves, let's be happy with ordinary things. If we achieve these two, it is very easy to achieve peace. When you wake up in the morning, look, I am in a warm house, my children are with me. This is a matter of gratitude for me, not to immediately bring negative thoughts to one’s head, to appreciate what one has, to be happy with routine things. When you achieve this, there is a comfort, you can do difficult things more easily, but other things demotivate you otherwise."

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)