The child who grows up with 'yes' cannot learn to manage his emotions...
Stating that the aim of the parents is not to make the child happy, but to prepare the child for life, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that children, who grow up with parents who say yes to everything they say, have never learned to manage their emotions.
In the symposium, in which many experts in the field participated, the famous psychoanalysts of the USA, the founders of the Emotional Muscle Technique, Psychologist Kerry Kelly Novick and Jack Novick attended the symposium with their speeches titled "Emotional Muscle and Emotional Awareness".
The "Emotional Awareness Symposium" organized by Üsküdar University together with the Psychology Research and Education Association was held. The symposium held with the main theme "Children, Education and Journey to the Future", brought together experts in their fields.
The symposium, which was held at Üsküdar University Central Campus Nermin Tarhan Conference Hall, was opened by Üsküdar University Advisor to the Rector and Director of the Special Talented Research and Application Center (ÖYEMER) Halide İncekara, Clinical Psychologist Çağla Tuğba Selveroğlu, Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Psychology Research and Education Association (PAVED), and Üsküdar University Founding Rector and Chairman of the Supreme Board of Directors, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan.
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: "Do not put only your own interests at the center of your life strategy!"
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that they are also working to prevent people from getting ill regarding their mental health, and that the world-famous heart surgeon Michael DeBakey explained "How not to be a heart patient" in his book published in his 90s and said, "I have performed heart surgery on one thousand five hundred people so far, and I have helped them in their recovery. However, if I knew then what I know now, I would have wanted to have written this book when I was 30 or 35 years old. If I had written it, I would have contributed to the fact that one and a half million people who read this book do not have heart disease. That was more important."
Prof. Tarhan also stated that the cost of what is done after being sick is high and said that he told young people, 'Do not put only your own interests at the center of your life strategy, take the interests of the country, family and society'.
Pointing to the emotional muscle study discussed in the symposium, Prof. Tarhan noted that this study was inspired by the psychoanalysis school.
Stating that the new field of psychoanalysis today is 'neuro-psychoanalysis', Prof. Tarhan also said that it is a study that reveals the biological evidence of psychoanalysis.
Tarhan: "The pathways in the brain should also be exercised..."
Noting that 'muscle' is used as a metaphor in emotional muscle studies, Prof. Tarhan explained that just as the muscles in the body are strengthened in physical therapy, the pathways and networks in the brain should be activated in the same way.
Explaining that children cannot learn this unless you ask the child to have morals and empathize, Prof. Tarhan said that postponing pleasure/gratification and emotional training are important.
Stating that an offspring of human being can walk at the age of 1 and distinguish between good and bad at the age of 15, Prof. Tarhan expressed that "The human baby is born psychologically prematurely. Since he was born prematurely, he learns everything from life. They learn about sociality and sexuality."
Prof. Tarhan: "There is prolonged puberty now. One is 40 years old and still a teenager."
Explaining that children learn from their parents through social learning and that their primary school is the family, Prof. Tarhan stated that children learn more than 50 percent of their knowledge between the ages of 0-3.
Stating that behaviors called mischief in children are learning about life, Prof. Tarhan also pointed out the importance of regulating emotions. Prof. Tarhan stated that "There is prolonged puberty now. At the age of 40, one is still a teenager. Also, this is seen mostly in men,” and explained that as people mature, they provide a balance between emotion and logic.
Stating that emotions are like the engine of the car and logic is like the steering wheel of the car, Prof. Tarhan emphasized the importance of mind and heart balance.
Genetically, there is no paternal hormone...
Prof. Tarhan said that "There would be no civilization if there was not anterior region of the brain. The emotional muscle that develops morality and personality is in the frontal region of the brain. It is important to develop these muscles. Since the child is born prematurely, the obligation of the parents is very high. Genetically, there is no paternal hormone, but there is a maternal hormone. The hormone is called oxytocin. It is mostly secreted in breastfeeding mothers."
Stating that oxytocin is also a bonding hormone, Prof. Tarhan also said that the hormone is used as a spray in couples.
It is also necessary to give the child endurance training
Stating that children also learn moral concepts, Prof. Tarhan said that "It has been seen that it is wrong to raise children whose every need is met and who is said yes to everything they say. The goal of the parents is not to make the child happy, but to prepare the child for life. For this reason, it is necessary to give the child endurance training. If you say yes to everything the child says, you will have a child who uses drugs in the future. There is a child who cannot control their anger. Children with parents who say yes to everything they say never learn to manage their emotions."
Children who are raised with a focus on fear die vicious and angry
Referring to children who are raised with fear, Prof. Tarhan noted that children who are raised with fear are also combative and angry, such as fear of parents and fear of social shame.
Stating that love is used like a stick in these children and that there is a conditional love, Prof. Tarhan reminded that children are raised wrong because of the fear of God, and that there should be a fear of 'losing the love of God'.
Stating that the child who grows up in this way sees the mother, father and creator as punishers, and when children start to feel, the child starts to reject it completely, Prof. Tarhan explained that children who are raised with fear do not know their parents at the first opportunity and are aggressive and vicious.
Children should also be taught empathy
Emphasizing that children should be taught the distinction between emotions and thoughts at a young age, Prof. Tarhan stated that empathy should also be taught to children.
Stating that children should be raised with principles, Prof. Tarhan noted that children should also be taught the subject of "Do not act like you are the only person in the society".
It is important for individuals to ask themselves, 'How are you?'
Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Association for Psychology Research and Education (PAVED), Clinical Psychologist Çağla Tuğba Selveroğlu stated that it is important for individuals to ask themselves 'How are you?' and said that people can feel both positive emotions and challenging emotions at the same time.
Selveroğlu stated that emotional awareness is important so that repressed emotions do not get stuck in the body, stomach, head, and joints and do not make them sick, and emphasized that emotional literacy should be taught in schools.
İncekara: "We can neither manage our own emotions nor the emotions of those we live with."
Üsküdar University Advisor to the Rector and Director of the Research and Application Center for Special Talents (ÖYEMER) Halide İncekara pointed out the importance of managing emotions in her speech.
Halide İncekara said that "Do we lie to ourselves? For example, do we say that we are good when we are bad and bad when we are good? How do we determine our own measure of goodness?", and İncekara also stated that she attended the symposium as a student.
İncekara said that "Social activities, hospitals, politics, everything can find a physical solution; however, we are all helpless to find an emotional solution. We cannot manage our own emotions, nor can we manage the emotions of those we live with. We think we are managing; however, we are all fooling each other. The more we deceive, the more unhappy we become. While we are deceiving, we are also being deceived in fact."
"Emotional Muscle and Emotional Awareness"
The founders of the Emotional Muscle Technique Psychologists Kerry Kelly Novick and Jack Novick, who are child psychologists from the USA and are accepted by international universities affiliated with the University of Michigan School of Medicine, also participated in the symposium online and made their speeches titled "Emotional Muscle and Emotional Awareness".
Kerry Kelly Novick said that "You have worked your emotional muscles hard to put together this training program. The emotional muscle represents a positive cycle that begins with clinical work and is then used in educational and living settings, providing insights that we can bring back to psychotherapy. You are part of a long and honorable tradition of interaction between psychodynamic therapy ideas and education."
Jack Novick said that "Integrated communication started 100 years ago in Vienna when Anna Freud gave kindergarten seminars. Child therapists and teachers have discussed, researched and applied them to poor children and immigrants in kindergartens, childcare centers. In the 20th century, Anna Freud founded many centers and schools around the world with the aim of serving students, children, and the needs of families. True mastery and confidence are trusting that you can build or create new emotional muscles when needed."
After the opening, a book was presented to Clinical Psychologist Çağla Tuğba Selveroğlu and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan and a group photo was taken with the participants.
In the symposium sessions, emotional awareness was discussed in all aspects
who made a presentation in the symposium are as follows: Expert Psychologist Bilge Kol with the presentation on "The Journey to Better Understanding Yourself and Your Relationships", Clinical Psychologist Kıvılcım Kıran with the presentation on "Emotional Awareness in Parent-Child Relationships", Assist. Prof. Clinical Psychologist Fatma Turan with the "Psychology of Emotions", Clinical Psychologist Çağla Tuğba Selveroğlu with the "The Role of Emotional Awareness in Children's Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Muscle Development", Genetics Specialist Büşra T. Kazan and Specialist Psychologist Merve Onurbilen Kunter with the "Intergenerational Transfer and Emotional Awareness in Family Relationships", Instructor Hale Güneş with the "The Effect of Emotional Awareness Training on Institution/Organization, Classroom Discipline and Relationships", Dr. Ayşegül Liman Kaban with the "The Future of Emotional Awareness and Innovation in Education", Clinical Psychologist Bahar Çakır with the "The Contribution of Emotional Awareness to Psychotherapy Processes", Specialist Physiologist Umut Aybarç with the "The Contribution of Emotional Awareness to Occupational Therapy Processes", Dr. Sümeyye Ertek with the "The Effect of Emotional Awareness on Health" and Dr. Ümit Ertem, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Saadet Aybeniz Yıldırım with the "The Impact of Emotional Awareness on Healthcare Professionals".
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)