Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: “A safe, full with love and appealing environment must be created at home”

President of Üsküdar University Prof. Nevzat Tarhan made a speech titled “Youth in Changing World” in the panel held within the scope of “Youth and Family Workshop” shareholders of which are Kayseri Metropolitan Municipality and Kayseri Governorship. Stating that it is necessary to create a safe, full with love and appealing environment at home for children, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said “When we created a warm environment at home, if a person is addict they can get through it again. If the home does not provide a warm environment, a healthy child is not raised.  When the home feels safe, it becomes a shelter. If you raise a child with fear, trust lessens and fear increases.”.

A home that feels safe provides a warm environment and becomes a shelter…

 ‘Youth and Family Workshop” shareholders of which are Kayseri Metropolitan Municipality, Kayseri Governorship, Talas Municipality, Erciyes University, Kayseri University and Cihannüma Consultation Foundation Kayseri District Representative, was held in Kayseri University Congress and Culture Center. President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out the responsibilities of families and parents by mentioning risks that today’s youth faces in his speech titled “Youth in Changing World”.

We are late to discuss family matter

Indicating that negative aspects due to events experienced related to family, will emerge 10-20 years later, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said “We are late to realize and discuss family matters but it is better late than never. There many things to be done. Our culture is suitable to solve problems. In America, a research was made covering years between 1950 and 2000. In this research, both happiness level and income per person were analyzed. From 1950s to 2000s, the income per person has been increased from 20 thousand dollars to 35 thousand dollars, however, happiness level has showed an opposite outcome. Then, Americans told that money does not buy the happiness over this. We use something similar and we say happiness cannot be with money.”.

Marriage numbers decreased and divorce increased

Pointing out that marriage numbers was 544 thousand in Türkiye in 2001, it was 533 thousand in 2018, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said:

 “However, a 54.8 increase was experienced in divorce rate in the same period.  The rapidity of marriage rate was behind the rapidity of divorce rate. Family structure become more fragile. According to statistics, while there was an increase in one-person household, there was a decrease in 5-person household between 1994 and 2006. When we look at Europe, it is possible to see that the rate of extramarital children is high.  For example, it is seen that ratios are 59.7 percent in Franc e, 56 percent in Sweden and Norway, 69 percent in Iceland, 52 percent in Portugal, 50 percent in Holland and 2.9 percent in Türkiye.  As a result of this, parent 1 and parent 2 were written instead of parent’s name in the identity card of children in France. The West culture we admire is in a situation like this and they chose this.”.

There are more shelters in Europe

Stating that there are very few shelters in Türkiye, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said “In Sweden, there are more than one thousand women’s shelter. They do not require any kind of document. Since the declaration itself is essential, they accept immediately and they place them. Also, they are laws enforced that protect children. Children who are exposed to verbal or physical abuse by their parents, are taken and become protected by the government.”.

Pandemic of narcissism has begun

Emphasizing that an age where egocentrism and worldism have increased to that extent, has been never experienced, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said: “Pandemic of narcissism has begun. Selfishness and ego wars are the biggest reason for this. The weakest quality of a person with high ego is that they do not have skills of cooperation. The biggest social problem of the West is loneliness right now. When loneliness increases, unhappiness and suicides increase and then this becomes a pandemic.”.

We must raise smart, hardworking and kind people

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that if a child feels like they will be in court or questions in a family where children are raised with fear, threat and forcing, it means there is no happiness at that home. Tarhan said “home is not a warm environment anymore. When we make home as a warm place, that child can survive even though they are an addict.  If the home does not provide a warm environment, a healthy child is not raised.  Raising only smart and hardworking children in a family is not enough, they must be raised as kind at the same time. As mother, father and education system, if we do not put kindness on the highest place in goal pyramid, we cannot move forward, we would only act ‘as if’.”.

Home must feel safe

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan indicated that a warm family environment makes home more appealing and said “to provide a home like this, a child must feel safe at home. We used to call family as home of love. Family is not home for love but home for safety. When home make you feel like you are safe, it becomes a shelter. To have a safe environment at home, a child should not be raised with fear. In that way, trust lessens and fear increases. There are many tempting factors from outside of the home. There used to be many protective factors in close environment but now there are not anymore.”.

A good memory becomes teaching and permanent, not advice…

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan highlighted in order for a family to be happy, family members must spend time together and especially parents must spare more time for their children. Tarhan also said good memories that a child experiences with their family become more teaching and permanent instead of an advice. He recorded that appreciation, approval and compliment words are used more in a happy family.

In the panel held under the moderatorship of Kayseri University Rector Prof. Kurtuluş Karamustafa, İzmir Katip Çelebi University Rector Prof. Saffet Köse made his speech titled “Modernism and Family”; Prof. Orhan Koçak made his speech titled “Technology Addiction and Youth”, Dr. Şöhret Karaduman made her speech titled “Family, Morals and Subversion of Values”.

Üsküdar News Agency NA)