The magic concept of treatment 'Hope' activates the internal pharmacy...

Üsküdar University Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Department of Psychology, Psychology Club and Positive Psychology Club organized the third event titled 'Psychology Talks with Prof. Nevzat Tarhan'. In the program, which attracted great interest from the participants, Tarhan reminded that one should not despair in the face of difficulties. Emphasizing that the biggest enemy that prevents human development is hopelessness, Tarhan noted that the feeling of hope is a magical concept of treatment and activates the inner pharmacy in the person.

The third of the psychology talks was held at Üsküdar University South Campus Fuat Sezgin Conference Hall. The event was attended by Üsküdar University Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Dean Prof. Deniz Ülke Kaynak, faculty academicians and students.

"A sense of accountability protects people from evil"

Stating that social decay increases with the weakening of the sense of accountability, Tarhan said that "Social decay is serious today. It is being done both as psychological warfare and as cultural psychological warfare. If people rot, society rots. A sense of accountability protects people from evil. The reason for the current social decay is the weakening of people's sense of accountability. Methods in developed countries are open, transparent and honest. It becomes accountable. A person who is open, transparent, accountable does not rot. This means a conscientious responsibility. The deterioration of social norms also increases social decay. There are three types of norms. The first is the legal norms established by law. The second is social norms, such as not going out in pajamas. These norms limit human relationships by being shaped by traditions and customs. And then there are conscientious norms. Conscientious norms are called morality. Social norms are determined by tradition. Legal norms are established by law. Conscientious norms are also determined by morality. Morality is not innate, there is no genetics related to morality. It is not genetics, it is epigenetics, it is learned later. If we can teach the child, it continues, if we cannot teach it, those concepts disappear after 2-3 generations."

"Parents should be the guiding captain"

Stating that parents should be guides, Tarhan said that "Parenthood does not mean captaining children. Parents should be the guiding captain. In other words, on the ship, the captain is at the helm, the pilot stands next to the captain. If there is a situation, it intervenes and guides. Even a toddler is trying to climb on the couch. There are three types of maternal behavior here. The first one says, 'Let the children climb on the couch.' He is learning to get up. After getting out, the boy is contented. He tastes the taste of success. He can say, 'I did it.' A sense of autonomy is developing. Another type of mother is the Turkish type of motherhood. The kid tries to climb, she put her child on the couch. The child does not experience any sense of accomplishment. It does not give him the feeling of enjoying the little things. Therefore, normally a parent will stand next to you and say, 'Come on, if something happens, I will hold it.' If this happens, the child's sense of autonomy develops and the bond with the mother is not broken. In the Western type, the bond between the child and the mother is broken. He grows up from afar, leaves the family, and parents does not take care of their child. The child himself learns, but the child’s mother-family ties weaken. There is also a lovey-dovey relationship in our Turkish type. As such, today's children have a high sense of autonomy. Especially with the mother being overly controlling and intrusive, the child wants to be more autonomous."

"Home should be a safe space"

Emphasizing that the house should be a safe space, Tarhan said that "The human brain has two periods of booming. The first is from 0-3 years old. All the hormones in the brain are revived. Synapses are opening. It is the period when the child is most active because the hormones are at peak. The second is adolescence between the ages of 12 and 15. In fact, adolescence came a little earlier. At that time, the child has the right to make mistakes. We will recognize that right. If you are raising a child like a lamb, children will not be healthy, and they will burst out in the future. Or they will get attached to someone else and proceed in that direction. In other words, we need to gain the ability to manage yourself. The house should be a safe space. In other words, when a person comes home, one should see the house as a shelter. This takes some time, and you should take your time. In other words, it is done at this age. Show them that you value them, that you love them, but let them know that you do not approve of their mistakes..."

“It is one of the weakest parts of human beings."

Drawing attention to people who have trust problems, Tarhan said that "Generally, people with trust problems have low self-esteem and self-perception. There is a self-perception and a targeted self. If these people have a low self-perception, if the self they want to be is high, they become arrogant. Their self-perception is low, but if they are the average self, they are depressed. People who are paranoid or skeptical do not see their own mistakes and think they are perfect. This is the art of self-deception. It is one of the weakest aspects of human beings. One skillfully deceives themselves. They do it with believing it; however, they do not do it on purpose. By a completely unconscious mechanism. In such cases, it is necessary to set limits in human relations."

Bad World Syndrome...

Talking about the Bad World Syndrome, Tarhan said that "The bad world syndrome says, 'The world is getting worse.' There are three kinds of reactions here. The first reaction is depressiveness, it collapses. One says, ‘The world is going to get worse.’ This happens with those who read the world negatively about the state of affairs. The second reaction is to become aggressive, aggressive. A person says, 'How is it getting worse?' In the third, there is avoidance. One settles in New Zealand because the world is sinking. The world is not getting worse at all. The good and evil in the world are sinusoidal. In other words, there is social decay at the moment, evils have increased. When the evils increase, the bad consequences of evil begin to appear."

"Hope is the magic concept of treatment"

Stating that one should not despair against evil and difficulties, Tarhan said that "A child does not grow up without suffering. It will suffer, it will grow. The first reaction of the child as soon as a person is born is crying, the first fear one feels. A person’s first refuge is the mother, and this gives the child peace. Therefore, if you run away from pain, you will hurt yourself the most. In other words, there is no despair, there are hopeless people. There is no despair for them. Two frogs fall into a milk boiler. One of the frogs says, 'The world is bad, I cannot get rid of it.' It lets itself drown. The other frog is fluttering, not giving up. After a while, a layer of fat is formed from their fluttering. It jumps off the fat layer and gets rid of it. This is an example of hope. Do not despair. The greatest enemy that hinders human development is hopelessness. If the sense of hope stands, 40 percent is the placebo effect. Even in treatment, the expectation of recovery and the sense of hope provide 40 percent neurophysiological support. It activates the internal pharmacy, endorphins, dopamine, serotonin are released. If the person believes that they will recover at a rate of 40 percent, 30 percent treatment is added to this and approaches 70 percent. In other words, the expectation of recovery, the feeling of hope is the magic concept of treatment."

“Those who can control their will are the ones who will be successful."

Stating that competition motivates the person, Tarhan said that "When there is emotional maturation, social maturation and behavioral maturation emerge. This is something that can be learned. This is neurobiologically present in humans. People are always successful, but those who can control this desire or turn this desire into a positive direction are successful. This is where the sense of competition in the capitalist system stems from. In other words, competition is something that moves people. It directs people to the goal because it activates. There is what a person can afford and there is what he does not have. There are things one can change, and there are things a person cannot change. There are things one can control and what one cannot. In such cases, a person needs to accept and manage.”

"If you believe everything you hear, you will make a mistake"

Reminding that it is absolutely necessary to have a filter, Tarhan said that "There is a saying in Anatolia, 'Do not believe what you hear, believe half of what you see.' So, do not believe it without questioning it. If you believe everything you hear, you will make mistakes. You should also question what you hear. Socrates has a filter. Someone says to Socrates, 'I am going to tell you something.' Socrates, on the other hand, says, 'I have a filter, pass it through it and then tell me.' He says, 'Is this the truth?' 'I do not know,' he says. 'Is that right?' he asks. 'I do not know,' he says. 'Is it useful?' he says. 'I do not know,' he says. "Do not tell me what you do not know to be true, useful, or true," he says. So be sure to have your own filter. This filter actually means the frontal lobe. It means managing the frontal region of the brain. The more we can improve our brains, the fewer mistakes we make. So, we need to improve our decision-making skills."

We are now at a time when goodness is at rock bottom...

Expressing that evil spreads rapidly, Tarhan stated that "We are going to start fixing the world with ourselves. Tolstoy says, ‘Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself’ It really is. The people of this time are trying to change everyone. We will start by training the wild emotions within us. As this becomes widespread in society, social decay decreases. We must set a good example for our environment. We are now at a time when goodness is at rock bottom. In other words, the bad consequences of evil began to appear. So, the whole world will feel the need to become wiser. In fact, if the 20th century was the age of knowledge, the 21st century must be the age of wisdom. Therefore, there is a lot of knowledge, there is wealth, but there is greed. The threats of this time are very significant. When these are corrected in society, recovery begins. Evil spreads fast like a virus. The good ones are developing slowly. The good ones are like deltas on a river. It accumulates slowly, and as the soil accumulates, islets are formed. The islets merge and a huge fertile land is formed. That is how the good deeds are slowly increasing."

"Patience is a meditative act"

Drawing attention to emotional literacy, Tarhan stated that "The most important thing in social decay is one's emotional literacy. An emotionally literate person reads and writes their own emotions, reads and writes the emotions of others, and makes correct emotion regulation. Thus, the most important thing is to manage emotions. For example, it is always said about patience, patience is not standing and waiting. Patience is a meditative act. Meditative action, on the other hand, is to conform to the speed and rhythm of nature. It is to be able to adjust where to speed up and where to slow down. There may be times when we have to tolerate certain incidents."

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)