The one who does good deeds is happier than the one who receives kindness!

Stating that although there are many negativities in society, choosing to be a good person and doing good deeds makes positive contributions to ourselves and others, Instructor at the Department of Psychology Prof. Tayfun Doğan expressed that "It is also very important to protect the honor of the other party while doing good. The good we do should not make the person feel a burden. In other words, it is not enough just to do good, it is also necessary to do it with grace." Explaining that doing good brings happiness not only to others but also to the person who does good, Prof. Tayfun Doğan expressed that "According to research, people who do good deeds are happier than those who do good. Kindness reinforces one's overall happiness by increasing one's inner satisfaction."
Stating that doing good activates the brain and body pharmacy, Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that "Biochemical changes make a person feel more peaceful, calm and happy. This, in turn, positively supports psychological and physical health. Based on all this, we can say that kindness heals."

Üsküdar University Department of Psychology Faculty Member Prof. Tayfun Doğan touched upon the importance of kindness in human life.

People can sometimes be loving and kind, and sometimes they can be cruel and evil

Referring to author Leo Buscaglia's quote "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around," Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that people have been a source of both happiness and pain to each other throughout history.

Noting that there are those who behave selfishly and ruthlessly among people, as well as those who help others and act selflessly, Prof. Tayfun Doğan continued his remarks as follows:

"Experiments show that babies aged 14 to 18 months tend to help someone they do not know. It has also been observed that babies are able to distinguish between good and bad characters and tend to reward good character. These and many other experiments are cited as evidence that we have an innate sense of morality and justice. However, people can sometimes be loving and kind, and sometimes cruel and evil. Psychologists state that people have both potentials. This situation reveals that we harbor both the seeds of good and evil within us, and whichever one we nurture, it grows. You know the famous story. When the old Indian man told us that there were two wolves, one good and one bad, living among us, and that they were constantly fighting, his grandson asked: 'Which one will win?' The old Indian said, 'Whichever one we feed will win.'"

What are the human behaviors that contain goodness in them?

Explaining that human behaviors that contain goodness are described as prosocial behaviors in the literature, Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that "Prosocial behaviors include behaviors such as self-sacrifice without expecting anything in return, such as altruism, as well as behaviors such as generosity, compassion, humanity, benevolence, kindness, compassion, love, respect, self-sacrifice and loyalty."

As compassion increases, so does happiness...

Noting that compassion can be defined as an effort to support people in times of trouble, to understand, alleviate or eliminate their pain, troubles and distress, Prof. Tayfun Doğan stated that "There is also an action dimension of compassion. Compassion is not only an emotion, but also a form of behavior that requires action. Understanding a person's distress, empathizing, and helping them are all part of this process. Pity and mercy are not the same thing. Pity can sometimes create a sense of arrogance and condescending, while compassion is based on care and respect. Lack of compassion, on the other hand, is often described as being cruel, insensitive, and hard-hearted. Negative emotions such as selfishness and jealousy can also be seen intensely in uncompassionate people. Compassion is a factor that keeps social relations healthy and increases the happiness of individuals. In a study we conducted, we found positive relationships between happiness and compassion. In other words, we have reached the conclusion that as the compassion levels of individuals increase, their happiness levels also increase."

Does sickness come out of compassion?

Stating those words such as "sickness comes out of compassion" are used to explain that doing good or being compassionate does not always produce good results, and that sometimes it can cause problems, Prof. Tayfun Doğan expressed that "These words may be due to the fact that some people have suffered damage when they do good. However, it is not correct to attribute the bad behavior of the other party to compassionate behavior. To be compassionate is to do the right thing; The evil of the other party is a consequence of his own character. Sometimes people use phrases like ‘sickness comes out of compassion’ to justify not being merciful or not doing good. That is, they present these words as a rational justification to explain the reasons for not showing mercy. However, this proverb may be intended to explain that when compassion is shown to people who violate the rules, commit crimes and are excluded from society, it can cause problems."

It is not enough to do good, it is also necessary to do it with grace!

Noting that sometimes being good can be seen as naivety, but being good is always meaningful, Prof. Tayfun Doğan stated that "Although there are many negativities in society, choosing to be a good person and doing good makes positive contributions to ourselves and others. As Mario Levi points out, doing good and being good in a world where there is so much evil is like rebelling, and it is not a being sucker, but a strong stance. Even though there is a lot of bad and there are bad people around, I think we should not give up on being a good person. However, while doing good, it is also very important to protect the honor of the other party. The good we do should not make the person feel a burden. In other words, it is not enough just to do good, it is also necessary to do it with grace."

Kindness also affects genetics...

Referring to the effect of doing good on our psychological and physical health, Prof. Tayfun Doğan continued his remarks as follows: "Doing good brings happiness not only to others, but also to the person doing good. According to studies, people who do good are happier than those who receive kindness. Kindness increases one's inner satisfaction and reinforces one's overall happiness. Not only doing good, but also witnessing goodness can make people happy in the same way. Even when you remember a good deed you have done in the past, you feel good and happy, as if you are doing good right now. Doing good also has positive effects on physical health. People who engage in regular volunteering activities have a reduced risk of death in old age. In addition, helping others has positive effects on heart health. Research has shown that doing good can even positively affect gene expression."

Doing good activates our brain and body pharmacy

Stating that doing good leads to positive changes in our brain and body, Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that "Behaviors such as helping others affect brain chemicals and help us get into a better mood. In particular, the release of chemicals such as oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine increases, while the stress hormone cortisol decreases. In other words, doing good activates our brain and body pharmacy. For example, the hormone oxytocin has anti-inflammatory properties that can help protect against heart disease. Oxytocin also creates a sense of peace and calm, reduces pain and strengthens the immune system. These biochemical changes make the person feel more peaceful, calm, and happy. This, in turn, positively supports psychological and physical health. Based on all this, we can say that kindness heals. Today, many therapists recommend regular acts of kindness to their counselees."

Doing good boosts self-esteem

Stating that doing good is an action that adds meaning to one's life, Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that "Helping others provides great spiritual satisfaction and the person is filled with the feeling that he is doing something meaningful. In addition, doing good increases self-esteem. When an individual helps others, he is inwardly proud of himself. When he shows virtuous behavior, his self-esteem increases, which positively affects his mental health."

Being kind and helpful also increases the attractiveness

Explaining that there is a concept called hedonic harmony in the field of positive psychology and that hedonic harmony is the situation where the things that make you happy at the beginning lose their effect over time, Prof. Tayfun Doğan stated that "Helping those in need combats hedonic harmony because by doing good, we realize the riches we have. This, in turn, allows us to appreciate our current state and therefore increases our happiness. Doing good strengthens social bonds. It establishes a social support network and helps us become more loved and trusted. It is not surprising that we feel closer to altruistic, compassionate, helpful people. Research shows that being kind and helpful increases attractiveness."

Kindness also brings benefits to society

Emphasizing that kindness provides benefits in social terms as well as individually, Prof. Tayfun Doğan continued his remarks as follows:

"In societies where kindness and kindness are widespread, the general quality of life and happiness level is also high. In such societies, people feel safe, feel that they belong to the society they live in, and struggle for its development. In societies where kindness prevails, individuals feel social and emotional support intensely. This can prevent them from experiencing feelings of loneliness and isolation. As a society, we need to learn to act as a whole as a single organism. This can only be possible by increasing goodness."

What can be done to increase kindness?

Stating that we need to increase kindness and compassion as a society, Prof. Tayfun Doğan said that "We need to stop making ‘the evil, no brainer, rudeness and being prone to violence’ being cool. We need to teach our children to do good, both in the family and in schools. The best way to do this is to set an example because more than anything else, children learn through modeling. This type of learning is also more permanent, as it is a learning from life, by doing and living. Children should witness acts of kindness and be appreciated when they do good. The whole point is to make kindness a character and a habit. Social media has perhaps the biggest share in influencing the emotions and behaviors of all of us today. We should take advantage of this power of social media and start acts of kindness. We must do something so that the acts of kindness and kindness we see are widespread and seen by others. I do not think this would undermine the principle of doing good in secret. On the contrary, I believe that it will increase people's hope and contribute to the spread of goodness."

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)