Those exposed to violence turn to violence!

Stating that uneducated families use violence as a problem-solving style, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "According to research, if children have seen violence from the family and parents, they also turn to violence. I mean, one learned that and says, 'That's what I saw from my family,' and that person commit violence towards their family at home." Prof. Tarhan also noted that these people continue the methods they have learned if they do not make a special effort to change themselves, and stated that "People enter a spiral of violence. And 50 percent of violence against women is caused by the man she is married to. Think of the murders. And 60 percent of women are killed in their own homes."

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the issue of anger management for a non-violent family and society.

Among living beings, the guiltiest of being aggressive is…

Stating that there has been violence in the world since the first existence of humanity, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "Human beings are the most criminal of living things in terms of violence and aggression. In other words, the wars that have taken place in these 100 years are the best example of this. There is nothing like this in any animal kingdom. There is no being as cruel and violent as human being. Unfortunately, this is the struggle between the good and the bad, the violent and the non-violent. Humanity is a struggle that will last until the Day of Judgment."

Two unmanageable emotions make people aggressive...

Stating that there are feelings of aggression in people, Tarhan said that "We have two basic emotions. One is sexuality and the other is aggression. One leads people to pleasure while the other is to protect them from danger. When you cannot manage those two emotions well, you become aggressive, that is, prone to crime. Somehow, human beings do not know where to stop. It' i very much related to how they were raised.”

A person can somehow become aggressive with an imaginary danger

Tarhan explained that when the basic needs of other living things are met, if their stomachs are full, if someone else does not interfere in their own security areas, they are not aggressive. Tarhan stated that "Even the lion stays away and does nothing if you do not enter its area. However, a human being is not like that. In other words, one can somehow become aggressive with an imaginary danger. A person can become aggressive with various fears and inflict the most violence on those closest to them." Noting that a law was enacted to prevent violence against women; however, despite that law, violence did not decrease, but increased, Prof. Tarhan said that "On the contrary, it means that there is a diagnostic error here. Some things need to be put on the table again and reviewed. It is necessary to question whether laws suitable for our culture have been enacted or not. In other words, violence will not end because of this, but it can be minimized and reduced.”

If you manage it well, it will take you to the goal!

Explaining that the person distinguishes between acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior from childhood, Tarhan said that "In the first degree, the child learns from the parents, and in the second degree the child learns from the society and school. It is about learning behavior, and aggression is a learned behavior. The urge to aggression is innate. On the other hand, it needs to be learned to be able to manage it. Thus, it is kind of like energy in a car. If you manage it well, it will lead you to the goal. It enables you to overcome difficulties, protects you from evil, but if you do not manage well, this time you will commit a crime and harm the environment. In other words, you will have a negative impact on the children you raise, and most of all, of course, what they call violence on top of domestic violence."

A child who is subjected to violence becomes violent

Explaining that 17 percent of the cases applied to the services in the United States are domestic violence cases, Tarhan said that we do not have that many at the moment, and continued his remarks as follows:

"However, the family goes to the emergency room. Due to various dangerous incidents such as injury. Therefore, it is a global problem and not only in Türkiye. The rate of violence in the form of killing is very high in Türkiye. Unfortunately, we are ahead of OECD countries in the world regarding this matter. In other words, there are killings, various murders. Here, specific risk factors for turning to violence are investigated. The most important risk factor is in uneducated families. In other words, uneducated families use violence as a problem-solving style. They use violence as a method of sanction against children in the family.

According to research, people also commit violence if they have experienced violence as a child from their parents. Thus, one learns it and says that 'That's how I saw it from my family,' and that person use violence towards their family at home. If a person does not make a special effort to change themselves, they continue the methods they have learned and enter a spiral of violence. And 50 percent of violence against women is caused by the man she is married to. Think of the murders. And 60 percent of women are killed in their own homes."

If there is alcohol, violence occurs much more easily

Stating that the method of removing from the house does not yield results in violent incidents, Tarhan added that methods such as electronic handcuffs are not a deterrent.

"Of course, these are necessary up to a point, but it is necessary to take a protective and preventive step. We see that alcohol and drugs are at the forefront of this violence. 60-70 percent of those who come with a violent rate, for example, those who kill their spouses, definitely have the effect of alcohol. It is due to the fact that alcohol impairs a person's ability to think and it disrupts, it impairs decision-making and anger management. When there is anger, the person's control of thoughts is impaired, and when alcohol is added, violence occurs much more easily."

If there is a high-risk factor, it is necessary to activate the judicial processes

Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan noted that there is definitely a leading event in domestic murders and said: "There are some pioneering violence. It is evident in other members of the family. In such cases, social workers come and step in. We lack long-term closed rehabilitation centers. Instead of taking people who are called from the risk group as an indicator to violence and giving them suspension, rehabilitation centers that can be both treated and rehabilitated, even for a month, depending on the situation. There are places known as correctional facilities for children. There are clinics related to this in many developed countries. In this way, one stays there for 6 months. They can easily keep these people there for a long time with a doctor's report or a court decision. That is, a person does not have the freedom to harm themselves, one does not have the freedom to harm someone else. Therefore, if there is a high-risk factor in this regard, it is necessary to activate the judicial processes by operating whatever is necessary."

Emphasizing that the most important thing is education, parental education and children's education, Tarhan said:

"The moment we apply violence to our child as a sanction, as a problem-solving method, our child will apply it in the future. It is necessary to know this. We see this mostly in children who cannot express their emotions. In other words, it is necessary to help children express their feelings and name their feelings. They cannot name their emotion, and anger builds up and explodes in an instant. If a person can name and express their emotion, 'What is the accepted behavior for the solution of the problem, what is the unaccepted behavior?' if the rules of this are clear in the family, 'this behavior is not accepted in our family, violence is not accepted, defending oneself in this way, expressing one's feelings, naming these are accepted behaviors', the child does not learn this from the family through verbal behavior."

If you fight the strong through the law of the jungle, you lose

Stating that children learn through examples, Tarhan concluded his remarks as follows: "They learn by parents being role models. And so, it is about the way parents raise their children. Right now, if there are attempts at aggression in a family, you are entering the law of the jungle of the strong when you throw a plate to respond to anger. What is in the law of the jungle is what the strong say. Well, if you fight the strong with the law of the jungle, you will lose. For this reason, it is necessary to use the thinking brain. They move with a feeling brain. Considering it with the thinking brain and saying at that moment, 'I do not like this behavior of yours, I do not find it right, and do not let it happen' and leaving the place and walking away. For example, in those momentary situations of anger, responding to anger with anger is the biggest issue, and then both sides regret it."

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)