Being obsessed with showing off is a pathological defense mechanism

DOI : https://doi.org/10.32739/uha.id.43095

Addressing the issue of being passionate about showing off, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "Being a show-off enthusiast is a psychologically pathological defense mechanism. It is a pathological defense mechanism that is not healthy. In other words, it provides a false comfort. At that moment, it provides applause. However, a false personality is formed in the person after a while. One begins to be fed on constant pretension. As soon as they lose interest, they become depressed."

Pointing to people who have become passionate about liking, Prof. Tarhan said that "When a person posts something about themselves, showing themselves, showing their baby, child or family more than 3 times a day on their social media, this is considered a narcissistic attitude."

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the issue of being passionate about showing off.

Tarhan stated that the American Psychological Association made an official statement that people who show themselves more than three times a day on their social media accounts have narcissistic personality traits, and pointed to the 'sense of being important and valuable'.

Tarhan said that "Some people satisfy the sense of being important and valuable by being famous, some people by being powerful, some people by having a position of fame, and some people by being pointed out in society in some way," and continued his remarks as follows: “if these people are not worthy of the feeling of being important and valuable, their self-perception does not remove it and situations that can be called 'unmannered' arise.”

Exaggerated life is a distorted method of ego satisfaction

Noting that these people can act in an exaggerated manner due to the fact that they are not worthy of power, authority, money and attention, Tarhan said that "You look from the outside and say, 'How strong this person is!' and you say, 'How brave that person is'. However, that person plays the role of brave because they struggle with their inner fear. These people also play the role of the rich and play the role of the powerful. This is how they play the role of being applauded, and they are fed with applause. These people actually see themselves as insignificant and worthless in their inner world, but by playing an important and valuable role, they express themselves to the society in such a way and gain attention and ego satisfaction in that way. It is a distorted method of ego satisfaction.”

In fact, if it is exaggerated, it shows that they are not worthy, Tarhan said that "One thinks they are worthy, but their mental structure is not worthy of him. Now there are fruit trees, think of a fruit tree, trees bend when there are many apples, but the tree with few apples has an upright position. Its branches are upright, and since they are not mature enough to carry it, they are unable to show humility about it because they perceive themselves in such an exaggerated way about them, that is, their self-perception is incompatible with their self-esteem. Since they see their selves, which should be very exaggerated over their own selves, and when they see them exaggerated, they always behave extremely artificially. Since they behave artificially, they are perceived cold, and their interest stands out. It is disproportionate, and this time they are met with the opposite of what they want."

Noting that those who exaggerate what they have achieved do not deserve it psychologically and emotionally, Tarhan said that "Maybe one has earned money and sees themselves as deserving of it, but how they earn is another issue. Psychologically, they do not deserve that attention, that office, or that applause."

Praise children's behavior and efforts, not their personalities

Explaining that while praising their children, they also said to the parents, 'Do not praise their personalities' while raising the children, Tarhan said the following statements:

"If we praise their personality, the child gets the feeling of 'How great I am!' However, we praise their behavior and efforts,' and we say, 'Look at how much you have studied, what good grades you have got. Look, you went and helped, you did this, it is an excellent thing. If you praise the behavior and effort, the child will learn something; however, if you praise their personality, their ego will inflate, and they will think as 'I already know, I am already the best'.

Generally, these people are people with a narcissistic personality structure. They actually work hard and enjoy calling themselves smart, talented, and they do things that get applause instead of being smart, and they get applause, but in the background, emotionally and spiritually, they cannot digest it because they do not deserve it. Thus, what does a person do if one eats something and their stomach cannot digest? The stomach reacts. The intestines deteriorate, vomiting occurs, and we can say that they show an exaggerated reaction because they do not deserve it psychologically, and they encounter the opposite of what they fear and expect."

Is being fond of pretension a psychological problem?

Referring to the issue of being fond of showing off, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan continued his remarks as follows:

"Being obsessed with showing off is a psychologically pathological defense mechanism. It is a pathological defense mechanism that is not healthy. That is, it provides a false comfort. At that moment, it provides applause. However, a false personality is formed in the person after a while. One begins to be fed on constant pretension. As soon as they lose interest, they become depressed."

Explaining that a question is asked in Hollywood 'What is the nightmare of a 40-year-old star and actress?' and the answer is 'Reaching the age of 40', Tarhan noted that the interest is not only for personality here, but also it is sexist, and that if there was interest in personality, the interest would continue more as one gets mature with age.

Stating that famous people internalize what they experience and have, Tarhan noted that people with a sense of inadequacy and spoil their egos when they receive attention, start exaggerated behavior and expose themselves disproportionately.

People who are culturally deficient and become impolite if wealth is too much

Tarhan stated that "Thus, they ask a question, and the question they ask is a self-praising question. They enter society, and they see the person who does not praise them as an enemy. This is a narcissistic personality structure. These people are fed on praise," and added that these people also overreact to criticism.

Tarhan noted that these people, who are culturally inadequate, become impolite if the wealth is too much, and if they have too much information, these people also stated that the knowledge makes them arrogant after a while.

Prof. Tarhan stated that "If a person exaggerates an issue, if one does not know the difference between their self-perception and the self they have and the self they should be, if one knows the current situation but does not know what they imagine, if the gap is open, these people suffer the hunger, poverty and thirst of the self they should be,” and added these people do fake things and they stand out because they do fake things.

Psycho-SWOT analysis to get to know yourself and discover your strengths and weaknesses

Stating that it is a good thing for a person to have an ego ideal, Tarhan stated that they recommend psycho-swot analysis to people so that they have an ego ideal, know their own self, and know their weaknesses.

Prof. Tarhan said: "What is in psycho-SWOT analysis? SWOT analysis is something that business owners use. Know your strengths, know your weaknesses and know the opportunities that await you, know the threats; however, you will know your purpose first. A person has an ego ideal. What kind of person do you want to be, when you come to the end of your life. What kind of personality do you want to spend this life with? Like what do you want to accumulate when you come to the end of your life... If there is an ego ideal, while a person is on the path of life, good things will come their way, and bad things will come out in front of them. They can say no to bad things. However, people with such weak personalities do not see their own incomplete flaws, which have a weak personality infrastructure. They always see the good side of themselves and exaggerate it. In that way, they exaggerate their achievements, that is, they exaggerate the areas in which they are talented because it is an exaggeration, every exaggeration feeds its opponents."

Narcissistic blindness...

Noting that excessive demands make people make mistakes, Tarhan stated that "They make mistakes because they want something excessively. Moreover, it is like they are hypnotized at that moment, and they do not see it. This is called reality blindness, indeed. It is called narcissistic blindness. Therefore, it is blindness. A person in this room, for example, you are going to look for the pin, the pin on the table, but you say, it cannot be on the table. You are looking all over the room, but you cannot find it; however, it is there. It is blindness because you are not looking. These people do not look at their own mistakes either. These are people who are closed to criticism."

Explaining that big companies pay high fees to consultancy companies so that they can find mistakes, Tarhan said: "Let's find our mistakes, our errors, and correct them. So that we do not make mistakes..."

People who are closed to criticism continue to make mistakes

Stating that people who are closed to criticism continue to make mistakes and see criticism as a threat, Tarhan said that "If they have power and interest, this continues temporarily, but after a while, it explodes somewhere. Either this kind of thing happens or there is growth every hour and it is not a sustainable success in the medium or long term. In fact, artists are successful in these people, but they cannot make them sustainable. They innovate disruptively. They destroy both themselves and others. These people make disruptive innovations. In other words, since a person harms other, one can also harm themselves."

Emphasizing that people do not only make decisions with rational reason, and that the only actor is not the mind, but also emotions, Tarhan said: "One acts with their emotions, and it is necessary to take emotions into account when making decisions. When a person invests, they do what they like, and if one feels safe, they invest. The high-security society is growing further. Authoritarian societies are different, they cannot grow any more. Although one grows, they cannot continue for a long time. Authoritarian societies are high-security people, if they feel safe, they invest and shop. Thus, it changed the strategies in the world."

Sharing more than 3 times a day is considered a narcissistic attitude

Expressing the issue of dealing with the number of likes and followers, Tarhan continued as follows:

"For example, a person has a strategic goal for their company's account, for a subject related to their profession or for any strategic goal. Therefore, they open social media accounts related to them, and they develop a strategy for it, and in such a case, one gets help from social media agencies.

Since the social media feature is short things are explained in a few words, it is detached from its meaning and context. Since the topics are disconnected, it is very prone to misunderstanding, in such a case, it is important for the person to be able to move forward by getting professional help in this regard. Apart from that, let's say that a person is not interested in social media, but is not interested in profession. Like one has become a passion for it. When a person shares more than 3 things a day that shows themselves, that shows their baby, their child, their family, it is considered a narcissistic attitude."

Tarhan stated that "This person is either fed by praise or applause, by admiration, or by attention. This is a great weakness for that person," Tarhan also noted that social media gives this opportunity to everyone, but most of them are not mature enough to carry it.

Emphasizing the importance of parental supervision in children, Tarhan said: "At this time, being passionate about likes on social media is enough for a person to be a disaster."

Dominating society with digital capitalism

Touching on the issue of digital capitalism, Tarhan explained that by using methods such as artificial intelligence, society is wanted to be dominated by digital means, and that serious work is being done on the domination and management of global capital as they wish.

Prof. Tarhan stated that capitalism makes you rich but does not make you happy, and continued his remarks as follows:

"It is being looked at to see where we went wrong. I think it will soon be noticed. Humanity will realize the mistakes of this and be instrumental in correcting it; however, digital capitalism, knowing capitalism... In other words, let's be the subject, not the object, let's be the subject of social media, the digital world. Let's use it for our goal. Do not let it use us. There is voluntary imperialism at the moment."

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)