Solution to Stress: Emotional Flexibility!
Pointing out that emotional Flexibility and psychological resilience are important to cope with and manage stress, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that mental flexibility and psychological flexibility complement each other. Noting that those who have emotional flexibility can be flexible during a crisis and they can go back to how they used to be before, Tarhan expressed that being able to happy and healthy in every condition, during winter, during summer, rain or shine is possible with psychological resilience in order to be a flower that can bloom in four seasons. Tarhan emphasized that psychology flexibility is required to achieve this resilience and noted that those who have value judgements has better psychological resilience.
Pointing out that fast, pleasure and interest focused life increases the global stress level in this communication age, President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said emotional flexibility methods can be used while coping with stress. Tarhan said that “Mental flexibility and psychological flexibility complements each other. If you have these flexibilities, you become flexible during a crisis and you turn back to your normal state like you used to be. Here, the trick is a person must put a fight when they experience a crisis, tension and stand back again. being able to happy, healthy and content in every condition, during winter, during summer, rain or shine is possible with psychological resilience in order to be a flower that can bloom in four seasons. Psychology flexibility is required to achieve this resilience.”.
Stating that, “Mindfulness” trainings now are taught systematically in schools, and related studies are carried out around the world due to the increase in stress level, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan mentioned that it is necessary to preserve our own culture while we are getting modernized. Tarhan gave examples from the study performed on Japanese and American primary school students and said that “Let’s take good aspects of the West. Let us take their science, techniques; however, let’s leave their culture to them. They gave difficulty mathematics tests to school-age children in Japan and America, which they cannot solve. They measured when they will give up. American students gave up after about nine minutes, but Japanese students gave up on thirteenth minute. That is, there is 50% more resilience because the culture teaches them. In japan, they do not load any information at all for the first four years. They are only taught about human values.”.
"Everything is broken by delicacy, but man is broken by rudeness"
Pointing out that solid objects look sturdy, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "Human beings have a feature. Everything breaks from delicacy, but man breaks from rudeness. What is flexible in man is solid. Do you want to enter the hearts of your spouse, children, relatives? If you break down the door, you cannot get in there. The way to get into the heart is to relate well to people, to establish a relationship of love.".
“What ifs” are enough to ruin mental health
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that everyone can be upset when they are wronged, rejected, disappointed, and cannot reach their goals and that this is a natural feeling and said that "It is important to be able to accept the event. A person who cannot accept it begins to live with 'what ifs'. That is enough to ruin a person. It is enough to destroy a person's mental health. When a person is upset about something, if there is a remedy, it is done properly, it is not worth being upset about. Even if you get upset if there is no cure, it is not worth being sad again because the result will not change. When a person learns this, one gains the ability to endure the event that person is experiencing. This is acceptance as distinct from surrounding. One must have faith in something greater than oneself. When you say, 'Just believe in yourself,' the person falls apart where they cannot do it. However, in such cases, believing in something bigger than oneself, being part of a greater meaning, believing in a high power, a high value, and having a refuge about it makes one resilient. It is the most reasonable belief that there is a will that knows everything in the world, controls everything, has absolute will, absolute power, absolute wisdom, absolute knowledge, absolute power.".
"Events should be considered separately"
Pointing out that the spiritual support and religious coping method in the Holy Qur'an in our geography is not seen in any religion, Tarhan said that "If a person can accept the event, especially in situations where one is not able to afford it, a person says, 'So I have to live it.' A person accepts the situation. One feels that they are part of a higher meaning. On the other hand, it is important for a person to accept to be emotionally resilient. Acceptance is a must, but it is not enough. Also, one should not live in the past. There is a very nice slogan; 'Learn from the past, look to the future. However, live in the present.' It is not live in the moment, but 'live in the moment'. Each event must be evaluated in context. It is also necessary to evaluate an event that happened in the past in its context. It is also important to think in terms of separating events. When you think about things without separating them, it is a kind of mental confusion. Such people cannot make schedules. A person is unable to give importance and priority in the events that they have experienced. In close relationships, when a person cannot make that distinction, they cannot think about what intention they are saying.".
Feelings that cannot be together...
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that we can only achieve psychological stability if the measure of values we have is correct, and said that "It is necessary to separate an event’s emotional dimension, thought dimension and behavior dimension. Especially in close relationships, good assumption is essential. If you are facing people like enemies, then bad assumption takes precedence. In close relationships, good faith is essential and bad faith is the exception. Trust is essential, doubt is the exception. These are the values. People with value judgments have better psychological resilience. Therefore, we need to establish our own value system correctly because one cannot find the truth if the ruler in a person's hand is crooked. If the measure of values we have is correct, we can achieve psychological resilience. In that system of values, there are 24 basic human values, such as keeping one's word and not lying. Ambition and happiness do not go together. Jealousy and peace do not coexist. A sense of arrogance does not go hand in hand with a sense of security. If you have these values, if you want to be happy, to be at peace, if you want to feel safe, then you will stay away from ambition, jealousy and arrogance. You will develop behavior in accordance with these values. For example, if there is laziness, if there is pessimism, you will not expect success. Success is not possible for someone with this mindset. Like that, we need to develop a mental strategy to say who, what happened, where it happened, in what context, how it happened, and to act in accordance with a kind of psychological flexibility.".
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)