Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: "Western culture teaches to put the blame on someone else"

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan met with the members within the scope of the Mekteb – i Saadet Lecture organized by the Saadet Party Women's Branches. Pointing out that we should all learn from the recent Kahramanmaraş earthquake in both material and spiritual aspects, Tarhan said; "In our culture, if people are doing wrong things, if there is a problem somewhere, they should first search for the fault in themselves. However, Western culture teaches to put the blame on someone else. Unfortunately, this is the sacred of this time, they worship causes. In the past, idols were worshipped, now idols are causes and they worship causes.".

"Disasters can have different reasons in terms of material and spiritual aspects"

Stating in the program held online that the disasters that occurred in the online program may have material and moral reasons, Tarhan emphasized that it is necessary to learn from the disasters. Tarhan said, "As you know, Türkiye is going through a difficult period. There has been a great disaster. In our history, such a similar disaster happened 500 years ago, and interestingly, there is a flood in the same region today. There are material reasons for this and also there are spiritual reasons. Here, it is thought whether it is a natural disaster or a man-made disaster. The flooding is very closely related to climate change. This is also done by human hands, and in the disaster, we now call an earthquake disaster, we are experiencing situations where many such social moralities are under the rubble, such as the reason for the losses rather than the earthquake, the failure to comply with the engineering rules and the buildings not to be built properly. In fact, this is the most important lesson to be learned. As I mentioned before, these events have material reasons, and there are also spiritual reasons. Thus, think about this universe, the world is like a dot in this universe. We cannot say that a planet revolving in a dot in comparison to the universe is idle. When we think with our mathematical minds, it has an owner, it has a captain, there is a situation where we need to establish the relationship between the causes of events here and the responsible philosophy. That is, ‘Why did such an incident happen? Why is it happening in this geography?’. We call everyone to learn lessons for the post-traumatic growth. We must draw such individual lessons from this trauma, and these are opportunities to learn virtue. Fate tells us that you are going down the wrong path. Western culture sees such disasters as punishments, however, our culture perceives them as divine warnings. We see it as a warning, not as a punishment.".

"In the past, idols were worshipped, and the sacred of this time is to worship 'causes'"

Stating that it is necessary to search the fault in oneself for the evils that happen to us, Tarhan made remarks on the method of Western culture to attribute the blame on someone else. Tarhan said, "In our culture, when people are looking for the truth, if they are doing wrong things, if there is a problem somewhere, one must first search for the fault in oneself. However, Western culture teaches to put the blame on someone else. It is an easy way to relieve by projecting every bad event that occurs in life on someone else. Unfortunately, this is the sacred of this time, they worship causes. In the past, idols were worshipped, now idols as causes are worshipped. The laws and causes brought about by determinism, brought about by science, are considered as if they are sacred. However, as the name implies, they are laws. The laws are written texts, and there are those who implement them. These laws such as Newton's Law, all the laws of nature are like that, they are laws, and we need a will and a power to implement them. What kind of time we are in now, and there are some things and definitions that the Prophet pointed out at this time. In the hadiths where the Prophet gave the advice of individual struggle against the sedition of the dajjal, it seems as if this is in accordance with this time. Well, in this case, such a sedition is not a sedition, a political sedition, but an individual, a cultural sedition, a moral sedition, that we will fight as individuals. What is defined as the dajjal is popular culture right now, popular culture that originated in Hollywood.”.

"Social media is the open door of the house"

Stating that social media is the open door of the house, Tarhan defined the diseases of the age as self-centeredness and worldliness. Tarhan stated that "Our home is no longer a fortress or the last refuge now. We cannot protect our children at a young age inside the house. Children grow up in a very unsafe area in the safe environment of the house. Not only our children, but the children of the whole world are affected by this. In America, suicide cases have increased after the age of 12, and cases of depression have increased among children. The biggest reason is that as a result of social media and people emulating each other on social media. As a result of that, children feel bad and depressed, and suicide cases increase. All these constitute very serious problems, and in the fight against such sedition, we will fight individually with the right method, one by one, through persuasion. We will make our friend, neighbor and relative a concern about this issue, and we will take a cause. Modernism tells us that the world is a very comfortable space. There are two diseases of this time; the first is the disease of egocentrism, there has never been a period in human history in which so much ego has been inflated. The second is worldliness. Muslim women also get their share from this. Worldly desires are seen in the first place today.”.

"Our age is not the age of declaration, but the age of representation"

Stating that representing Islam well is the greatest service, Tarhan noted the importance of representing Islam by living properly instead of preaching. Tarhan said, "This is not the time to preach Islam, it is the time to represent it. If we represent Islam well, we will have done the greatest service. For this reason, it is no longer the time to tell the truth by preaching and giving conferences, but the period of telling the truth by living. It is the same in the family, and it is the same at home. If there is no peace in the house, if the storms of husband and wife are blowing, children are afraid to get married in such cases. Those children should be at peace so that they will follow your example. If the child thinks that there will be constant arguments at home and that there will be tension again, that child looks at other happy, peaceful families in such cases. The child imitates them. Children do not follow the example of their own mothers and fathers. For this reason, it is important to be able to make the house such a warm environment for children and to play the role of motherhood here. If she is not successful in her role as a mother, a child will not be able to learn to relate to people in this situation. A child cannot learn to communicate with them. It is very important that role sharing in the family to be done well. This goes for both men and women. It is also necessary to ensure balances in family and work life. This is a situation that requires some effort and investment.".

"Perfectionists try to make others also perfect"

Emphasizing that the sense of perfection is a feeling that needs to be managed, Tarhan stressed that while you want to raise beautiful children, it is necessary to ensure balance in the family by not going overboard and raising a 'project children'. Tarhan said, "A significant number of perfectionists also reflect their own perfectionism when they try to make others perfect, however, it is unrealistic to expect that kind of perfection from others. They have the maximum point they can do according to their capacity, and while expecting this, it is necessary to set a certain goal and spread it out over time. Perfectionism is a situation that needs to be managed, especially when mothers say that my child should be perfect, they turn their child into a project child. Parents will give their child options, tell your child the pros and cons, leaving the final decision to your child. Otherwise, there is no other mother, no other father, then, we will lose a child. Having hostile feelings towards the mother is both love and hostility, anger. It is more important that a child will no such feelings than their profession in future. Therefore, there should be no mother-child wars in the mother-child relationship, there should be no father-child wars, if you can raise the child without this, that child will be connected to the family in the future, and the sense of belonging will be high. Even if child does wrong things, that child will come around from the mistake again because they love their family. It is very easy for young people to make mistakes at this time, but in order to recover from a mistake, they need to love their home, family and parents. If they love their family, the child can return home even if they make the mistake in such cases. To give the child that opportunity, the house needs to be a warm family atmosphere. The mother should also be a soothing mother, such a warm relaxing mother model. If that happens, it is not difficult to raise children.".

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)