Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: "Smart people pursue the happiness of meaning"

The online interview, moderated by Journalist Şaban Özdemir, attracted a lot of interest from Vakıf Bank employees from all over Türkiye.

"We will be both happy and resilient"

Pointing out that modernism glorifies the happiness of pleasure in his speech, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that "When we evaluate happiness from the perspective of neuroscience, intelligent people pursue the happiness of meaning, not the happiness of pleasure. Modernism has glorified the happiness of pleasure, and since it has glorified the happiness of pleasure, the capitalist system is now encouraging humanity to do so. In the global system, there is a consumption-oriented economy, and it is not a production-oriented one because it can turn the wheel of earn, work and consumption in that way. However, if it could increase production without consumption, everyone would get richer, and therefore, it is a consumption-oriented capital system. Then, we can say that happiness caused by dopamine and serotonin occurs when a person shops. So, it can be recommended to shop according to one’s needs. We should be happy and resilient here. How does this happen? In fact, what is there in the happiness of meaning for a person to be happy? A person must first have a goal in their life. In your life, you have been asking, 'What kind of life do you want to live when you come to the end of your life? What kind of meaning do you want to be a part of? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to be written on your tombstone when you come to the end of your life? Do you want to be one of the good or the bad? Do you want to be a person who represents the good? Do you want to be a person that represents evil?' The goal is very important here.”

"When the flow does not change, it is necessary to change the perspective"

Mentioning that people can analyze themselves by finding their weaknesses and strengths, Tarhan stated that "It is all about changing a perspective here. When human beings cannot change the flow of life events, they need to change their perspective. When a person's perspective changes, one takes the first step on their journey of discovery that is self-discovery and self-knowledge. In other words, modernism generally offers us a philosophy of life that always analyzes others, criticizes others, and focuses on others. However, this is a narcissistic trait. To be able to look at both our own strengths and weaknesses in this way, if we look at ourselves as a third person, we can analyze ourselves here."

"Leadership focused on producing serotonin in the brain is the right leadership"

Pointing out that Aristotle divided happiness into two, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that these are meaning and pleasure happiness. Tarhan stated that "Neuroleadership is the ability to manage brain chemistry. There are two pillars to this. One of them, dopamine-focused leadership, is pleasure-oriented. Dopamine is secreted in all addictions. When dopamine runs out, the brain looks for new dopamine. The pleasure continues, and the person falls into uncertainty. The person who is uncertain, on the other hand, seeks out the substance and becomes addicted. However, in the happiness of meaning, Aristotle divides happiness into two: one is pleasure, and the other is happiness of meaning. Meaning happiness releases serotonin in the brain. It also provides sustainable happiness. This is called peace in our culture. Leadership focused on producing serotonin in the brain is the right leadership. It is the ability of the person to be both happy and successful. That is why we will see these opportunities and threats. What are the obstacles for me in threats? In this case, how can the decision make my job more difficult in the future? These are the ones who threaten me. We will analyze those threats. Does the decision in this situation carry a significant risk for me? This is where the threat and calculable risk are introduced. You should invest, for example, you are managing money. If you do a risk analysis here, you will not be upset when you lose. In other words, the risks calculated by risk analysis are entered. Learning to take these risks is important in this respect. We can say that psycho-swot analysis gives us an idea in terms of getting to know ourselves and strengthening ourselves."

"Lack of empathy is most common in arrogant and self-righteous people with an inflated ego "

Drawing attention to the importance of empathy and empathy in his speech, Tarhan said that the lack of empathy occurs mostly in arrogant and self-righteous people with an inflated ego. Tarhan stated that "One of the most important characteristics of people with mental flexibility is active listeners. They listen to the incident and do root cause analysis. These people use the stop, think, do paradigm. After that, they do it. People who do the first thing that comes to mind without thinking and believe whatever they hear always continue to make mistakes. In other words, the person who comes to mind first, believes what they hear, and says the first thing that comes to their mind must agree to hear everything. So, one cannot say whatever they feel like. Or they cannot say, ‘I am not being careful, but I say whatever I want, but they should be careful.’ Empathy can take a good look at the situation in such situations. Even if you put all the bad things in the room, even if you put all the wrong behaviors on the door, the lack of empathy opens the door. Lack of empathy is something that occurs most often in arrogant and self-righteous people with an inflated ego. Empathy can be learned later. It is not innate. However, the ability to learn empathy is innate. A person with empathy makes a distinction by saying that my emotion is sadness, their emotion is this. They say, ‘that is my opinion, that this is my action and my behavior."

"Those who learn to manage their emotions can stay calm under stress"

Mentioning that it is a great skill to stay calm under stress, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan underlined the need to make mental investments, Tarhan stated that "It takes intellect and thought to manage emotions. After that, action and behavior appear. Our first reaction to an event is usually emotion. After that, we will analyze what is thought. Emotion, thought, and ultimately behavior. What do we do when we use this quadruple paradigm? We can do empathy analysis, we can do emotional resilience, and we have achieved emotional resilience. That is easy to say but not easy to do. Therefore, people should learn to manage emotions in the same way that they learn to drive a car or learn to use a phone or bicycle. A person who learns to manage emotions can stay calm under stress. Staying calm under stress is an excellent skill. It is necessary to invest mentally here. The person who has mental flexibility will be able to manage it. Most importantly, there should be a positive mood in the face of an event, usually in our philosophy of life. We will also see the negative side of things, but we will live on the positive side and prepare ourselves for the winter. However, we will live by waiting for the summer. That is how we will have a way of looking at life."

"Let us not be afraid of stress and trauma"

Pointing out that the formula for solving sadness is not very difficult, Tarhan said that "I mean, let us say a person is upset, something happened. When we are upset, we see if there is a remedy. If there is a remedy, you do it, and it is not worth worrying about. If there is no remedy, even if you are sad, you will continue to be sad because it will not change. In fact, the formula for solving a sadness is not difficult at all. If there is a remedy, do not worry. Otherwise, even if you are sad, you will accept it because it will not change. Again, it is not worth getting upset about. This is a pattern we use in treatment. Therefore, let us not be afraid of sadness. Let us not be afraid to manage them or not. Let us not be afraid of stress, trauma. Let us manage them and improve ourselves."

"Happiness due to the inner cause always makes you happy..."

Answering the questions from the participants, Tarhan said that people who want happiness due to internal reasons will always be happy than people who want happiness due to external reasons. Tarhan stated that "What one understands from one's comfort zone is important. If all their wishes have been met, all their needs have been met, and everything they say happens, it is not realistic for them to understand such comfort. It is a very narrow comfort zone. A comfort zone is a safe space. Is a person's home their safe space? Workplace safe space? Does it feel like you are going to war on the way to work? Does one see life like a football game? A person can even make their punishment their comfort zone if they want. Rumi has a good story about this. I covered this in my book Rumi Therapy. There, a wise man goes to a mental hospital. He sees a patient with his hands tied, singing cheerfully in a mental hospital. 'Your hands are tied, you are in a mental hospital, but you are very cheerful. How does this happen?' he asks. The answer given by the patient is remarkable: 'My hands are tied, but my soul is not tied, my heart is not tied.' The lesson to be learned from there is that no matter what the circumstances, a person is in control of their soul, in control of their emotions, and in control of their mind. You cannot be happy if you want happiness that depends on an external cause. If you want happiness that depends on the inner cause, you will always be happy. What is happiness due to internal cause? You will appreciate what you have. Instead of changing the world, you will change yourself, and what is my duty today to achieve your purpose in such cases? You will say what can I do, and it is very important to be able to manage yourself, to be able to manage your emotions. In other words, if this happens, everywhere is a comfort zone for that person. In other words, even if it is at the bottom of the well, it is comfortable."

It is possible to overcome social phobia with humor!

Tarhan, who also discussed the issue of social phobia and asociality, pointed out that people can overcome their social phobia when they learn to use humor. Tarhan stated that "Being asocial is a choice. They enjoy solitude. They are lonely and very happy. They have no complaints. They do their job, but they are not social. If there was a funeral, four people would hardly be found at the funeral. They are such asocial people. There are also socially phobic people. Socially phobic people engage in social avoidance even though they do not want to. There is avoidance behavior. They avoid crowds. When talking to someone, their face turns red, hands tremble. When they walk into a crowd, they feel like everyone is staring at them. They see more negativity and have low self-esteem. They feel the fear of being criticized in the social environment in the face of every event. They feel that I will fall short. Their lives are indeed ruled by fears. These people do not like to take risks. However, the socially phobic person takes them to work in an environment they are used to, they are usually people with a high sense of responsibility. They are promoted. When it rises, their social phobia increases, they reject it. They say I cannot do it, I cannot do it. These are important characteristics of socially phobic people. If social phobia is not at a certain point, if it is mild, it can be self-managed. In such cases, we apply the confrontation method. They are going to address the issues they are afraid of. Humor is a very important stress management method. Humor, we even call it 'vitamin H. Vitamin H is humor. If they learn to use humor, they will overcome their social phobia. They make everyone laugh, everyone's looks change, the atmosphere relaxes and they overcome their fears."

"Shock experiences change learned helplessness"

Drawing it to the Self-Assessed Wisdom Scale, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that emotion management is important. Tarhan expressed that "Shock experiences and dramatic experiences change learned helplessness. For this reason, the events we experience in life actually change our wrong habits, learned helplessness and prejudices. We apply a post-traumatic growth scale to individuals. When we apply it, these individuals come out stronger after that event. They choose options such as my perspective on things has changed, my relationships with people have improved, I have gotten to know myself better, and I have become more aware of my family and relatives. We experienced this during the pandemic period and in the earthquake event. All of these events caused us pain, but then we saw that these events changed some of our wrong habits, our wrong goings. Rumi has a very good example of this. 'When a sheep is separated from a flock, the shepherd throws a stone at that sheep. The reason he throws stones is not to hurt the sheep. He does it so that the wolves do not grab it because it is separated from the pack. The troubles and calamities that come to us in fate are like stones thrown. They are not calamities, but warnings. It is a warning. The events and calamities that may come our way in life are the creator's speech in the language of events so that we can correct our direction from where we sit. We will be able to use our minds and read the events. This is called emotion management. This is managing our emotions. We have developed a scale for this, and we have published it. We have done validity and reliability studies."

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)