Prof. Tarhan: "Despots are not open to criticism"

Noting that critical thinking can be defined as thinking about thought, Psychiatrist Prof. Tarhan stated that "Intention on the other side is very important in criticism. If our intention is to understand the truth, even if the other party is uncomfortable, they will improve themselves."

Stating that criticism is a process that develops intelligence and capacity, Prof. Tarhan said that "Criticism should be original, evidence-based and reasonable."

President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the issue of criticism culture. Tarhan mentioned that criticism is a process that develops intelligence and capacity.

Criticism is the metathinking skill known as thinking about one's thought

Stating that criticism is a metathinking skill known as thinking about one's thought, and thanks to this skill, individuals actively question the incoming information instead of passively accepting it, and this process is also called critical thinking, Prof. Tarhan expressed that "Children learn by imitation and repetition. After children begin to think abstractly, they begin to ask questions. And when they start asking questions, the child asks, 'Why am I going to put it when you say put it here?' 'I am going to wear this, but why am I going to wear this? I am going to eat this, but why am I going to eat it?' If parents patiently explain these to the child in an explanatory way, the child will learn by questioning and understanding."

Destructive criticism is used by many people as a stick...

Reminding that Socrates was the first to systematize this critical thought in the history of humanity and that this is called "Socratic" questioning, Prof. Tarhan continued his remarks as follows:

"Critical thinking can be defined as reflection on thought, and it should have several important characteristics. Firstly, it is important to question the incoming information and assess whether this information is rational, authentic, and analytical. Critical thinking needs to be rational, that is, it must be reasonable and logical. Criticism needs to be original. In other words, it should offer a new perspective based on personal experience and information. Just repeating what is known is not considered criticism. An original criticism goes beyond existing knowledge and opinions and aims to achieve better. People who face destructive criticism should understand the intent of such criticism and react accordingly to prevent such criticism from affecting them negatively. Destructive criticism is often aimed at dominating others or enslaving the person, and therefore, it is used as a stick by many people."

Parents do not give the right to criticize...

Stating that people try to meet the desire to gain knowledge by questioning the world around them and the society they live in, and that this forms the basis of critical thinking, Tarhan made the following remarks:

"Everyone has a desire to know and learn. This trait causes people to constantly ask questions aimed at better understanding themselves and their surroundings. Contrary to popular belief, the most recommended sacred text for critical thinking is the Qur'an. What does the Holy Qur’an say first? It starts with 'Read'. After saying 'read', it talks about the embryo. Qur’an says, 'Try to understand the birth of a child in the womb and the book of the universe,' and it says, 'Question.' It encourages thinking. When we look at the story of the creation of Adam, the angels object. They say, 'Are not we enough?' This is a criticism. Allah has given them the right to criticize, even though he is the almighty. Then the devil defies. He says, 'I do not prostrate.' He gave the devil that right. However, I see that mothers and fathers do not give this right to their children. They enslave children. Parents are more despotic than God's attributes. That is what governments do. Despots are not open to criticism."

Intention is very important on the other side in criticism

Stating that criticism is an important process used to understand the current situation and achieve goals, Prof. Tarhan said that "In order for criticism to be effective, it must be done in an active, purposeful and organized manner. Rational thinking is the basis of this process, that is, criticisms must be made with the aim to achieve a specific goal and to understand the truth. Criticism promotes personal and institutional growth when it is done to reveal the truth, not just to destroy or damage something. Intention is very important on the other side in criticism. If our intention is to understand the truth, even if the other party is uncomfortable, they will improve themselves."

Trying to understand the truth...

Pointing out that the critic should also have a certain competence, Prof. Tarhan continued his remarks as follows:

"If it is evidence-based, criticism is effective. If it is not evidence-based, it is only a criticism to criticize, and a criticism that is only to satisfy our feelings, does not help at all and harms relationships. This is how criticism that has a negative impact happens. A person who looks for faults in others is at the beginning of their life path and does not know anything. Our ancestors used to say Cehl-i mürekkep, which means complicated ignorance. One does not know, and they do not know what they know. Such ignorant people look for fault in someone else. Why? This means that it is at the beginning of the road. If a person is looking for the fault in themselves while moving on the path of life, they are in the middle of the road. However, if a person does not look for faults in themselves or others, if they are able to look at themselves sand others from above like a helicopter, they will not look for faults in anyone. One tries to understand the truth. They do not move to look for flaws. That is the true criticism. It is the mental effort of a person to find the truth to reveal the truth and to understand the truth. This is called intrapersonal intelligence. One can question one's own. The external intelligence also questions the outside and makes a decision as a result of this questioning. Making decisions based on information and data is making decisions based on reason and evidence. If a person can do these things, they are using critical thinking systematically."

It is necessary to stop and think and then criticize

Stating that "You have to stop and think and then criticize. When you think that a person has made a mistake, you may be embarrassed if you criticize them immediately,” Prof. Tarhan said that "Good and bad suspicion are important elements of critical thinking. A person who acts with bad faith constantly blames others and does not see the real side of the event. That is why it is important to say, 'Stop, think, then criticize.' It is necessary to stop and think and try to understand the cause of the incident."

"Instead of approaching with the language of you, we should approach with the language of I"

Noting that it would be more constructive to ask neutral questions instead of asking accusatory and judgmental questions to try to understand something, Prof. Tarhan stated that "Instead of asking questions such as 'Why are you wearing this?' or 'Why did you put your hand here?', 'I guess there is a reason to put this here. How does it work?' This is constructive criticism, not destructive. Trying to figure it out, you can say, 'Is there an important reason for you to take it?' In a situation where you think it is wrong, it may be more effective to speak in the language of I: 'I think what you are doing is wrong, and it is not like that, I' would do it like this.' Because we live in the age of the self, in an age where there is ego and selfishness, and we live in the age of narcissism, people react disproportionately to criticism. For this reason, it is necessary to approach with the language of I instead of approaching with the language of you."

Criticism must be original...

Stating that being inquisitive is necessary for people to satisfy their needs, Prof. Tarhan expressed that "People who do not question are enslaved people. Criticism is a process that develops intelligence and capacity. It allows you to think outside the box and produce alternative theses. Criticism must be original, evidence-based, and reasonable. We can consider these elements of critical thinking as its main pillars."

Nobody likes to be criticized

Expressing that "Criticism is something that human beings do not like at all. And no one should claim to be criticized since criticism is contrary to the mental structure of the person at the first moment. Human beings tend to see themselves as the best, the smartest. For this reason, it is normal for one to be uncomfortable with criticism,” Prof. Tarhan made the following remarks:

"We need to think about how we can criticize without making the other party feel bad. Let’s say someone has a scorpion in their bag and we need to tell them about it without making them panic. In fact, there is a story about wisdom: There was a student who was very complaining and criticizing everything. He was constantly complaining about the world and looking for faults in everything. The teacher took a bag of salt, put it in a handful of water and told the student to drink it. The student could not drink it and said the water was too salty. The teacher picked him up, took him to a larger salty lake, and threw the water into the lake. He said, ‘Drink it now’. He said that he had not taste anything. The teacher said, 'Look, this is the way the pain is.' Whom you say and where you say it is important here. If you criticize by thinking small, a person will suffer. When you criticize by seeing the big picture, the other party understands that this criticism is made to help and does not feel uncomfortable. It is possible to say even the heaviest, most difficult, most rude word in the kindest, most pleasant way. It is a skill."

It is necessary not to criticize the personality of the child

Stating that if it is necessary to criticize a child, it is important to do it together with the reasons, Prof. Tarhan said that "It is necessary not to criticize the child's personality. If you criticize their personality, they will say, ‘You will be good for nothing. There will never be a man. You are studying in vain' and they devalue their children and lower their self-esteem. However, you should not criticize their personality and say, 'Look, you are a good person, you are a good kid, but what you are doing is not right. Try to fix this. If I were you, I would do this.'"

If we act on our feelings in the face of criticism, we are being played

Stating that a person who is exposed to a destructive criticism should listen calmly and then respond calmly, Prof. Tarhan concluded his remarks as follows: "If we act with our feelings in the face of criticism, we will be played. Critics often act through pressure, threats, and intimidation. They try to dominate us. If we resort to their methods, we will be defeated. Therefore, we need to change the strategy and draw the critic into the realm of logic. Speaking slowly and calmly by saying 'I want to understand you' activates the other party's thinking brain. In this way, it directs it to a space where there is a cause-effect relationship and tries to understand the truth. If the criticism is ignorant and foolish, it is best to walk away from such criticism rather than respond to it."

 

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)