Parents are like a good deed generator for children…
Stating that it is very important to enforce the sense of gratitude during the Eid, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that “How rich your social capital is, how much your social power, social impact will increase. Therefore, it is necessary to produce this during holidays. Things such as visiting a person who did you a favor in the past, giving gifts, making someone happy or at least calling someone are important. We see a lot that those who lost their parents say ‘I wish they were alive, I could visit and hug them’. Now, those whose parents are live should use this opportunity very well in order not to say this. Parents are like a good deed generator for children. Do not miss such an opportunity for this generator. It is a great spiritual capital for a child to have their parents’ blessing, to make them happy. Investment is not only made in this world, and all of these are the investments for the beyond the death. If you want to invest in afterlife, holidays are an opportunity. A wise person does not make investments for a short-term period, but they do make invest for a long-term period. This is also a long-term investment. We can call Eid as ‘spiritual trading periods.”.
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan explained the most abstract meaning of the sacrifice pray before the upcoming the Feast of Sacrifice (Eid al-Adha). Expressing that the word ‘kurban’ in Turkish (see: sacrifice) derives from the word ‘kurbiyet’, which means ‘to approach’. The donation, financial worship performed to the poor, the neighbors during the Feast of Sacrifice are actually tool to get close God. The essence of being a servant is to get close to God. It is to connect with the creator. That is, so to say, it is to be able to be online with Him, to be able to open your heart to Him. Otherwise, if you say ‘sacrifice for God but meat is delicious’, it is not actual animal sacrifice. Here, your intention is very important. Otherwise, you are not performing your duty towards Allah. The animal sacrifice is a tool to enforce your connection with Allah and to get close to Him. If you act with this mentality, you add meaning to the Feast of Sacrifice.”.
Not to say I wish they are alive and I could go and hug them...
Emphasizing that the Feast of Sacrifice means getting closer to the creator, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that "You participate in this with all your emotions. This is the highest meaning of this worship. Things such as visiting a person who did you a favor in the past, giving gifts, making someone happy or at least calling someone are important. We see a lot that those who lost their parents say ‘I wish they were alive, I could visit and hug them’. Now, those whose parents are live should use this opportunity very well in order not to say this. Parents are like a good deed generator for children. Do not miss such an opportunity for this generator. It is a great spiritual capital for a child to have their parents’ blessing, to make them happy. Investment is not only made in this world, and all of these are the investments for the beyond the death. If you want to invest in afterlife, holidays are an opportunity. A wise person does not make investments for a short-term period, but they do make invest for a long-term period. This is also a long-term investment. We can call Eid as ‘spiritual trading periods.”.
"Holidays form the social network"
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the extension of the Eid holiday to 9 days was a holiday occasion and that it was necessary to distinguish between the holidays that were selfish and the holidays to be made by making the elders happy and visiting the elders before the holiday without neglecting the family. Prof. Nevzat Tarhan continued his remarks as follows:
"The holiday destination of many people in Anatolia and Istanbul is their hometown, they go there. In this respect, the Eid holidays have a more reinforcing effect on family ties in our society, to a large extent because what will make older people happiest is not meeting their physical needs. It is the greatest gift to ask them for help, to say 'I am glad that you are here, my mother, I am glad that you are here, Father, I am glad that you raised us' and to feel that they are valued. Let them go and be with you, a loving gaze, a smile, a few nice words, a warm touch are the greatest gift to them. For this reason, they should not approach it in the style of 'I do it exactly or I don't do it at all'. Some mothers and fathers also make a fuss. They say, 'Are you going on vacation again?' Everyone's way of expressing their emotions is different. The language is like that, but their inner world is different. It is necessary to digest it now. Our responsibility is to fulfill our respect for the parents and our responsibility to them because holidays are the very important bonds that hold our society together.".
Emphasizing that family ties and close relations, which are the treasure of Anatolian wisdom, protect society and people, Tarhan said that this treasure is about to be extinct with modernism and digitalization. Saying that we should not lose this, Tarhan said that "On the contrary, let's use digitalization as an opportunity to meet our parents face to face, even if we are far away.".
"Let's postpone the flaws until after the Eid"
Noting that excessive requests make people unhappy and that spiritual environments such as holidays make people feel peaceful and safe, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Holidays show people how temporary life is. During the holidays, a person thinks when they see how they have broken a heart because of something simple. The heart is such an organ that it cannot be entered if its door is broken. If you want to enter a heart, you will look at the way to enter that heart without breaking it. Our heart is such an organ. Everything is broken by delicacy, but humanity is broken by rudeness. During the holiday, feelings of love, close relationships, feelings of affection, feelings of compassion are intense emotions. In such cases, let mothers and fathers be generous in love and affection. Let them postpone the flaws until after Eid.”.
Holidays are the most beautiful memories of childhood
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the longing for the old holidays was expressed every period and said that "Holidays are the most beautiful moments of everyone's childhood. In the human brain, one perceives the experiences of childhood as old experiences where there is a warmer environment at home and gifts are given. As the old holidays, there is actually a longing for that childhood period. Those beautiful memories from childhood are reflected in the social sphere in the form of 'old holidays'. When we say old holidays, we cannot say that there is a big difference between 50 years ago and now. However, we can say that this discourse is a social expression of childhood longing. Let us plant beautiful Eid experiences in the soul of our child that will remember with such longing in the future, that will bear beautiful fruits in their developing soul. Let us give our children good things so that we can create holidays that can give not only such material, monetary and temporary pleasures, but also pleasures with a permanent eternal spiritual dimension.".
“The sense of gratitude must be enforced”
Noting that the most important acquisition for children is to be taught patience against difficulties and to have gratitude for the things they have by knowing its value, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said that “It is very important for a child’s happiness even though you only enforce their feeling of gratitude. In our science of happiness, there is a course titled ‘Gratitude Training’, we teach this. We give a homework like this: Remember a person who did you a favor in the past. Go and buy them a gift. If they ask why you bought it, say that ‘you did me a favor in the past. That’s why, I wanted to give this to you’. When we tell these examples, great friendships start. Loneliness is eliminated, and random, unconditional acts of kindness are performed. How rich your social capital is, how much your social power, social impact will increase. Therefore, we must produce these during the Eid.”.
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)