Prof. Dr. Akbaba; 'Our actions must match our beliefs'

Üsküdar Üniversitesi Rector's Advisor, Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Psychology Department Faculty Member Prof. Dr. Sırrı Akbaba, participated as a speaker in the program organized by Eyüp Sultan Şehit Furkan Doğan Anatolian Imam Hatip High School. Making evaluations on the topic of 'Family Communication,' Akbaba said, 'Family communication is a phenomenon that can be developed.' 

“Family communication is a phenomenon that can be developed” 

Prof. Dr. Sırrı Akbaba touched upon important points in family communication. Akbaba said; “When we talk about family communication skills, the word skill should immediately catch our attention here. Family communication is a phenomenon that can be developed. Carpentry skills can be developed through a master-apprentice relationship. There is also healthy and unhealthy communication. These can be changed and developed. We should derive this from this skill.”

“A correct sentence calms us, while a wrong sentence makes us aggressive”

Stating that emotion and thought are different concepts, Akbaba said; “It is the exchange of feelings and thoughts between people. We need to distinguish between what we call emotion and thought. These are triggers for each other. For example, anger is an emotion, aggression is a behavior. There is a thought behind this. That is, what leads us to the feeling of anger and then to aggression is a thought, a belief. There is a sentence that imposes it on us. A correct sentence calms us, while a wrong sentence makes us aggressive. Aggression also breeds aggression. Our age is the age of information. The wider our knowledge base, the more likely we are to display that knowledge. The less knowledge we have in our repertoire, the harder it is to reflect these in our behavior.”

“Being a good listener means solving more than half of the problem”

Emphasizing that listening is the most important skill, Prof. Dr. Akbaba said, “They say if speech is silver, silence is golden. Instead of dictating things to a child, one should listen to them. Listening to them means understanding. If you respond with anger when a child is late, you also lose the chance to learn where they were. Being a good listener means solving more than half of the problem. Communication is contagious. Bad communication breeds bad, good communication breeds good.”

“Highlighting the good improves, highlighting the bad deteriorates”

Akbaba pointed out that positive qualities should be emphasized, and doing the opposite would set people back; “There are both positive and negative aspects in a person. We need to emphasize the positive, meaning the good, the beneficial. Emphasizing positive qualities develops individuals, while emphasizing negative ones sets them back. That is, it is also harmful to personality development. For example, if we highlight the good sides of our children, they will develop themselves based on that side. Therefore, let's always act with the focus on seeing the good.”

“Our behavior should be what our belief is”

Emphasizing the importance of sensitivity training, Akbaba said; “Individuals need to become aware of unhealthy interactions in their environment. As a result of sensitivity training; it is a requirement of being human to first protect oneself and then one's environment from these negativities. We must empathize. We must put ourselves in the other person's shoes. We must try to think like them and be transparent. Either you will appear as you are, or you will be as you appear. We are not living what we believe. Therefore, even if it's wrong, we have to believe. Our behavior should be what our belief is.”