Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: “Childhood traumas are frequently observed in these individuals, and they usually do not have a happy childhood.”
Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that borderline personality traits can be found to some extent in everyone. He added, “If a person has borderline personality disorder, they do not perceive it as a problem; they perceive it as their natural state. They cannot recognize this condition, consider it normal, and behave accordingly. This is a personality disorder.”
Prof. Tarhan emphasized that the foundations of borderline personality disorder are usually laid during childhood in a neglectful family environment and said, “Childhood traumas are frequently observed in these individuals, and they usually do not have a happy childhood. They do not learn emotional regulation, which they need to develop during childhood. The memories accumulated during childhood are mostly problematic. These are personalities that live through four seasons in a single day.”
Stating that the main focus in therapy is helping these individuals learn to find happiness within themselves, Prof. Tarhan said, “If they can learn to be happy through their own internal dynamics, they can overcome childhood traumas. Emotional abuse and neglect are very frequently seen in these individuals.”
President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, discussed the topic of borderline personalities on the program “Akla Ziyan with Nevzat Tarhan,” broadcast on EKOTÜRK TV.
Those with borderline personality disorder perceive it as a natural state
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan explained that the term borderline personality disorder was originally used to define the boundary between psychosis and neurosis, saying, “Psychosis is a mental disorder in which reality testing is impaired, meaning the distinction between dream, fantasy, and reality cannot be made, or irrational behaviors are displayed. Neurosis is more about disturbed relationships and social problems. However, there were personality types that oscillated between psychosis and neurosis and were very difficult to treat, and the term ‘borderline’ was used for them. Borderline traits can be found in everyone to some extent. If there is borderline personality disorder, the person does not perceive it as a problem but rather as their natural state. They cannot recognize the condition, accept it as normal, and behave accordingly. This is a personality disorder, and these individuals cause the most problems for those close to them. It is also observed that borderline personality disorder eventually turns into a mood disorder.”
Consistent in their inconsistency!
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan noted that one of the borderline personality traits is emotional inconsistency. “These individuals think differently in the morning and in the evening; they experience four seasons in one day and have difficulty with emotional regulation. Another characteristic of these individuals is distrust. They live with constant fear, as if something bad is going to happen. Their anxiety is very high, and they have a chronic feeling of emptiness. Because of this sense of emptiness, they are constantly uneasy and on edge. Identity confusion is also common. They question their social identity, sexual identity, and all their identities. There is significant chaos and mood fluctuation, which leads them to display unstable personality traits. They are consistent in their inconsistency. Their exaggerated emotional instability reflects in all areas of their lives. Their outward appearance does not match their inner world. Due to these features, they are the ones who experience the most relationship problems.”
They can fall in love and suddenly let go in the same day
Prof. Tarhan stated that there are individuals with a condition referred to in some psychiatric schools as “bipolar type 3,” defined as a new sub-group of mood disorders. “These individuals display behaviors that contradict basic values and moral norms. They can fall in love very easily and suddenly let go. They may experience this shift even within a single day. This is considered a form of borderline personality disorder that requires medication.”
He also noted that thirty to forty percent of all personality disorders have a genetic basis. “Individuals with borderline personality disorder cannot perceive the emotions of others. They lack emotional literacy. They also struggle to recognize and understand their own emotions, lack emotional awareness, and cannot express emotions in a healthy way. Therefore, they have difficulty establishing stable and secure relationships.”
The foundations of borderline personality disorder are laid in childhood
Prof. Tarhan emphasized that the roots of borderline personality disorder are often established in childhood in an emotionally neglectful family environment. “Childhood traumas are frequently observed in these individuals, and they usually do not have a happy childhood. Children model themselves after role models in the family, meaning the mother, father, and their relationship. If there is no consistent, stable, and healthy relationship in the family, the child cannot distinguish what is good or bad, right or wrong. They do not learn emotional regulation, which is necessary during childhood. One of the most distinctive characteristics of borderline personality disorder is that the right hemisphere of the brain does not function properly. The right brain is the emotional brain; the left brain is the rational brain. The prefrontal cortex ensures balance. However, in these individuals, the right brain functions inconsistently and dominates the person. The prefrontal cortex cannot establish balance. In other words, they act on the first thought that comes to mind, do what they like, and believe the last thing they hear. For this reason, they do not have the maturity for marriage. They exhibit inappropriate behaviors with the opposite sex and show inconsistency. The memories accumulated during their childhood are mostly problematic.”
They also exhibit narcissistic traits
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that individuals with borderline personality disorder also often show narcissistic traits. “Because they usually do not see any fault in themselves, they come to therapy to avoid losing something they love or their children, and they usually blame their spouses. First, we assess their personality profile, identifying their strengths and weaknesses. We examine their ego ideal, life philosophy, way of approaching events, problem-solving style, method of coping with stress, and communication style with others. Once these are determined, we evaluate both the personality profile and investigate whether there is a biological aspect to the disorder. Because the organ of emotion, thought, and behavior is the brain. If the infrastructure of the brain is defective, if its chemistry is impaired, and if the brain's threat circuits are overactive, and in these individuals, the threat circuits in the brain are highly active. They exaggerate everything and tend to catastrophize. If that is the case, then we also address the biological dimension.”
It is important for a person to know themselves and be aware of their strengths and weaknesses
Prof. Tarhan stated that the first step in therapies for these individuals is awareness, saying, “It is important for a person to know themselves and be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. After this awareness, consistency is worked on. Various techniques such as transference therapies, dialectical behavior therapies, cognitive behavioral therapies, and positive psychotherapy are applied to these individuals. Since the brain in these people always works focused on negativity and danger, it becomes difficult to form positive neural circuits. Through these treatments, individuals are taught not only to see the negative aspects of situations but also to produce positive aspects. In this way, they learn stress management. The greatest weakness of these individuals is their inability to manage stress; they give disproportionate, inappropriate, and inconsistent reactions. For this reason, anger and suicidal tendencies are high in these individuals.”
Borderline individuals have high levels of libidinal energy
Prof. Tarhan explained that Hollywood star Marilyn Monroe died by suicide at a young age and had a personality that constantly fluctuated between two extremes. He said, “Another characteristic of borderline individuals is that their libidinal energy is high. Both in women and men, their libidinal energy is high, which makes them attractive. They have a strong impact on the other party. However, these individuals cannot be happy. Even though they seem to have everything, they search for happiness in the wrong place and always in others. Another notable trait of borderline individuals is that they expect others to help them and meet their needs. The main focus of therapy is to teach these individuals to be happy within their own inner world. If they can learn to be happy with their own inner dynamics, they can overcome childhood traumas. Emotional abuse and neglect are very frequently seen in these individuals during childhood.”
Individuals who have not achieved emotional maturity
Prof. Tarhan emphasized that these are individuals who cannot regulate their emotions, saying, “If a forty-year-old person behaves like a ten-year-old, they have not achieved emotional maturity. That is, their physical development may be normal, they may be muscular, or appear healthy, but their childish aspects remain. These individuals are mostly emotionally immature, also referred to as ‘immature’. Borderline traits are very prevalent among them. Since they cannot learn behavioral boundaries, they make many mistakes. When they are criticized for their mistakes, their self-confidence decreases. One of the biggest problems of individuals with borderline personality disorder in terms of reliability is their inability to form secure relationships. They do not feel safe themselves, nor do they make others feel safe. They cannot establish close relationships. They experience attachment problems. They exhibit avoidant attachment patterns.”
If individuals with borderline personality disorder say “I want to get better,” there is a fifty percent chance of improvement
Prof. Tarhan pointed out that there are social boundaries in social relationships and said, “It is important to be aware of the rights, needs, and emotions of the other person. First, one must be emotionally literate; you must recognize your own emotions and develop appropriate behavior accordingly. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder cannot develop this behavior. Because of these characteristics, they cause the greatest harm to themselves and are unhappy. There is a storm inside their brain. There is a constant war in the brain of these individuals. However, because there is neurobiological impairment in the brain, therapy cannot be started without first treating that. If individuals with borderline personality disorder say ‘This is how I am, I am not happy, I want to get better,’ then we can say there is a fifty percent chance of improvement.”
Substance addiction is common…
Prof. Tarhan emphasized that addiction is the most frequently observed problem in borderline personality disorder, saying, “Because they have a chronic sense of emptiness inside and cannot feel happiness, substance use provides temporary relief. They gradually increase the dose. The ones who say ‘Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse’ are borderline types.”
Future projection is worked on in therapy for borderline individuals
Prof. Tarhan continued by stating that these individuals are constantly fighting with the past and always blame others: “One of the characteristics of these individuals is that they are myopic about the future. They cannot see the future. In therapy, future projection is worked on. They are told, ‘If you behave this way, this will be the consequence.’ The ability to think in the medium and long term is developed. Emphasis is placed on the ability to delay gratification. Similar situations are observed in adolescents as well. In therapy for borderline individuals, future projection is worked on. Lessons to be learned from the past are emphasized, and they are taught to use their mental energy for the present.”
Borderline individuals must learn to be happy within their inner world
Prof. Tarhan concluded by stating that borderline individuals must learn to be happy within their inner world, saying, “Since these individuals give with emotion to the other person, if the other person does not reciprocate, they suddenly bring them down completely. Because of these traits, they cannot build sustainable relationships. They may marry five times and divorce five times. They cannot maintain long-term, consistent friendships. Later on, they blame themselves. They cannot manage their emotions.”
Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)