Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: “Childhood traumas are frequently seen in these individuals, and they generally do not experience a happy childhood.”
Stating that borderline personality traits can be found to some extent in everyone, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “If there is a borderline personality disorder, the person does not see it as a problem; they perceive it as their natural state. They cannot recognize this condition, accept it as normal, and behave accordingly. This is a personality disorder.”
Noting that the foundations of borderline personality disorder are usually laid in an indifferent family environment during childhood, Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, “Childhood traumas are frequently observed in these individuals, and they generally do not have a happy childhood. They cannot learn the emotion regulation they need to do in childhood. The memories they accumulate during childhood are always problematic. They are personalities who experience four seasons in a day.”
Stating that the most emphasized point in therapies is for these individuals to learn to be happy within their own inner world, Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, “If they can learn to be happy with their inner dynamics, they can overcome childhood traumas. Emotional abuse and neglect are very common in these individuals during childhood.”
Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, evaluated the topic of 'unbounded individuals' in the program "Nevzat Tarhan ile Akla Ziyan" broadcast on EKOTÜRK TV.
Those with Borderline Personality Disorder perceive this condition as their natural state
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that borderline personality disorder (borderline) was initially used to distinguish between psychosis (mental illness) and neurosis, explaining, “Psychosis is a mental illness where reality testing is impaired, meaning distinctions between fantasy, reality, and dreams cannot be made, or irrational behaviors are exhibited. Neurosis, on the other hand, is a condition primarily characterized by impaired relationships and social problems. However, there were personality types that fluctuated between psychosis and neurosis, posing significant challenges in treatment, and the term 'borderline' was used for them. Borderline personality traits can be found to some extent in everyone. If there is a borderline personality disorder, the person does not see it as a problem; they perceive it as their natural state. They cannot recognize this condition, accept it as normal, and behave accordingly. This is a personality disorder, and these individuals are the ones who cause the most problems for their loved ones. Borderline personality disorder is also observed to transform into a mood disorder after a certain point.”
Consistent in inconsistency!
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that one of the characteristics of borderline personality is emotional inconsistency, and these individuals are those who think one way in the morning and another in the evening, experiencing four seasons in a day, and struggling with emotion regulation. He said, “Another characteristic of these individuals is insecurity. They constantly live in fear, feeling as if something bad is about to happen. Their anxiety is very high, and they have a chronic sense of emptiness inside. Because of this feeling of emptiness, they are continuously restless and on edge. Identity confusion is also frequently experienced. They question their social identity, sexual identity, and all their identities. Chaos and fluctuations are very common, thus they exhibit unstable personality traits. They are consistent in inconsistency. Their exaggerated emotional imbalances are reflected in every area of their lives. What they project to the outside world is different from their inner world. Due to these characteristics, they are the individuals who experience the most relationship problems.”
They easily fall in love and then suddenly leave within the same day…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also mentioned that there are individuals with "subthreshold mood disorder," which is called "bipolar 3" in some psychiatry schools and defined as a new subgroup of mood disorder. He said, “These individuals exhibit behaviors that do not conform to fundamental values and moral norms; they fall in love easily and then suddenly leave. This can even happen within the same day. This is considered a form of borderline personality disorder that requires medication.”
Stating that 30-40 percent of all personality disorders are based on genetic factors, Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, “Individuals with borderline personality disorders cannot perceive the emotions of others; they lack emotional literacy. They also struggle to read and understand their own emotions, have a deficit in emotional awareness, and cannot perform emotional transfer in a healthy way. Therefore, they have difficulty forming consistent and secure relationships.”
The foundations of borderline personality disorder are laid in childhood
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that the foundations of borderline personality disorder are usually laid in an indifferent family environment during childhood, stating, “Childhood traumas are frequently observed in these individuals, and they generally do not have a happy childhood. Role models in the family, meaning the mother, father, and their relationship, are emulated by the child. If there is no stable, consistent, and healthy relationship within the family, the child cannot understand what is good, what is bad, what is right, and what is wrong. They cannot learn the emotion regulation they need to do in childhood. One of the most prominent features of borderline personality disorder is that their right brain does not function properly. The right brain is the emotional brain; the left brain is the rational brain. The prefrontal cortex provides balance. However, in these individuals, the right brain works inconsistently, and the right brain manages the person. The prefrontal cortex cannot provide balance. This means they do what first comes to mind, do what they like, and believe what they last hear. Therefore, they even lack marital maturity. They exhibit inappropriate behaviors with the opposite sex and have inconsistent behaviors. The memories they accumulate during childhood are always problematic.”
They also carry narcissistic traits
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan explained that individuals with borderline personality disorder also possess narcissistic traits, and because they generally do not see a problem in themselves, they come to therapy to avoid losing something they love or their children, and usually blame their spouses. He said, “First, we determine their personality profile; we identify their strengths and weaknesses. We examine elements such as their ego ideal in life, life philosophy, approach to events, problem-solving style, stress coping style, and way of communicating with people. After identifying these, we both evaluate the personality profile and investigate whether there is a biological dimension to the illness. Because the organ of our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors is the brain. If the brain's infrastructure is faulty, its chemistry is impaired, and danger circuits are overactive (the danger circuits in the brains of these individuals work excessively), they exaggerate everything and tend to catastrophize. If this is the case, we also address the biological dimension.”
It is important for individuals to know themselves and be aware of their strengths and weaknesses
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that the first step in therapies for these individuals is awareness. He said, “It is important for individuals to know themselves and be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. After this awareness, consistency is worked on. Various transfer therapies, dialectical behavioral therapies, cognitive behavioral treatments, and positive psychotherapy methods are applied to these individuals. Because the brain in these individuals is always focused on negativity and danger, positive neural circuits cannot be formed. With these treatments, the person is taught to see the positive aspects of events, in addition to seeing the negative ones. In this way, they learn stress management. The biggest weakness of these individuals is their inability to manage stress; they give disproportionate, inappropriate, and inconsistent reactions. Therefore, anger and suicidal tendencies are high in these individuals.”
Borderline individuals have high libidinal energy!
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that Hollywood star Marilyn Monroe died by suicide at a young age, having a personality that always swung between two extremes. He said, “Another characteristic of borderline individuals is their high libidinal energy. Their libidinal energy is high in both women and men, which makes them attractive. They strongly affect the other party. However, these individuals cannot be happy. Because despite having everything, they search for happiness in the wrong place, always in others. An important characteristic of borderline individuals is that they expect others to help them and meet their needs. The most emphasized point in therapies is for these individuals to learn to be happy within their own inner world. If they can learn to be happy with their inner dynamics, they can overcome childhood traumas. Emotional abuse and neglect are very common in these individuals during childhood.”
Individuals lacking emotional maturity…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also noted that these individuals are unable to regulate their emotions. He said, “If a 40-year-old person behaves like a 10-year-old, they lack emotional maturity. That is, their other physical development might be good, they might be muscular or something, but their childlike aspects persist. Most of these are what we call immature individuals who lack emotional maturity. Borderline traits are also very common in these individuals. They make many mistakes because they haven't learned behavioral boundaries. When they make mistakes, they are criticized, and their self-confidence decreases. Regarding trustworthiness, the biggest problem for those with borderline personality disorders is their inability to form secure relationships. They do not feel secure themselves, nor do they make others feel secure. They cannot form close relationships. They experience attachment problems. They form avoidant attachments.”
If individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder say 'I want to get better,' there is a 50 percent solution
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that there are social boundaries in social relationships. He said, “It is important to know the rights, needs, and feelings of the other person. First, one needs to be emotionally literate; you will read your own emotions and develop appropriate behavior accordingly. Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder cannot develop this behavior. Due to these characteristics, they do the greatest harm to themselves; they are unhappy. There is a storm in their brains. There is a constant battle in the brains of these individuals. However, because there is neurobiological impairment in the brain, you cannot do therapy without first treating it. If individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder say 'I am like this, I am not happy, I want to get better,' we can say there is a 50 percent solution.”
Substance addiction is observed…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan pointed out that addiction is the most common problem in Borderline Personality Disorder. He said, “Because they have a chronic feeling of emptiness and cannot be happy, substance addiction provides temporary relief. They gradually increase the dosage. The types referred to as 'Live fast, die young, have a good-looking corpse' are Borderline types.”
Future projection is worked on in therapy for Borderline individuals
Stating that these individuals fight with the past and constantly blame others, Prof. Dr. Tarhan continued:
“One characteristic of these individuals is that they are future-myopic. They cannot see the future. In therapies, future projection is worked on. They are told, 'If you do this behavior, there will be such a result.' Mid- and long-term thinking skills are worked on. The ability to delay gratification is emphasized. Similar situations are experienced in adolescents. In therapy for Borderline individuals, future projection is worked on. Lessons to be learned from the past are emphasized, and the ability to use mental energy for the present is developed.”
Borderline individuals must learn to be happy in their own inner world
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that Borderline individuals must learn to be happy within their own inner world. He concluded by saying, “Because these individuals give with emotion to the other party, if the other party doesn't see it, they suddenly plunge into despair. Due to these characteristics, these individuals cannot maintain a sustainable relationship. They may marry five times and divorce all five. They cannot form long-term, consistent friendships in any friendship. Afterwards, they blame themselves. They cannot manage their emotions.”