Evaluating the subject of asocial life and its challenges, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Asocial and antisocial have completely different meanings. Asociality is when a person rejects social interaction or remains alone willingly or unwillingly. Antisociality, on the other hand, is being against social norms, being prone to crime.”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also mentioned the existence of hidden antisocials, stating, “Tie-wearing antisocials… These are skilled fraudsters. They deceive people, they are not bothered, they feel no remorse, they feel no regret.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan: “Individuals who have difficulty complying with social norms become antisocial if they quarrel with or oppose social norms, but they become asocial if they avoid social norms.”
Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, evaluated the subject of asocial life and its challenges.
“Tie-wearing antisocials… They deceive people, they are not bothered…”
“Asocial and antisocial have completely different meanings. Asociality is when a person rejects social interaction or remains alone willingly or unwillingly. Antisociality, on the other hand, is being against social norms, being prone to crime, a behavior formerly called psychopath,” said Prof. Dr. Tarhan, adding, “There are two types of antisocials: one is those who self-harm, who are constantly in and out of prison 10-15 times, with records of theft and all kinds of robbery. These are the known ones. Then there are hidden antisocials, ‘tie-wearing antisocials’… These are skilled fraudsters. They deceive people, they are not bothered, they feel no remorse, they feel no regret. Asociality is also known as active solitude. They are happy with active solitude; they have no complaints.”
“When you look at people who constantly wear dark glasses at an advanced age, most are socially phobic.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that children who are subjected to peer bullying and remain alone despite not wanting to, eventually stand aside: “These are children who remain alone due to weak social and emotional skills. They don't have fear; their loneliness is due to external causes. Some children also have fear, social fears. They think, ‘If I enter society, I'll make a mistake, I'll be embarrassed, they'll make fun of me, they'll mock me...’ Because they are so sensitive, they prefer not to participate, but they actually want to. With this social anxiety, they don't want to make eye contact. You also see people who constantly wear dark glasses in old age; most of them are socially phobic. Those people don't want to make eye contact. Social phobics work very hard because they fear making mistakes; they are perfectionists. These individuals experience mental inhibition. They get blocked. They have exam anxiety, performance anxiety. If they cannot manage this, they are pushed towards loneliness.”
“One of the most important features of Eastern wisdom…”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that chosen loneliness also exists, and some older individuals choose solitude, saying, “Because they are so preoccupied with exploring their inner world, journeying within, knowing themselves, and managing desires and impulses… They derive pleasure from this and feel no need for the outside world. These individuals generally become wise. They don't strive for people to come to them, but people come to them. When they meet someone, they can sense and articulate what that person needs. This is one of the most important features of Eastern wisdom. Yunus Emre and Rumi are examples of this.”
“A person enters an autistic life even if they do not have genetically autistic behavior.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, referring to the 2018 study on loneliness by the BBC and Manchester City University, noted that a Ministry of Loneliness was established in the UK in connection with that study, stating, “27 percent of people over 75 say, ‘I am very lonely.’ Among individuals aged 16-24, 40 percent say they are ‘very lonely.’ This poses a very serious threat. Social media plays a huge role. The person thinks the virtual environment is social, creates a false reality for themselves, and it seems like they are alleviating their loneliness there, but they are only using their brain for areas related to imagination. Neural development related to physical contact, being able to connect with people without changing identity, and all these skills does not occur. This is called learned autism. They have their own worlds; they live there; some are happy. There is an autistic loneliness. Acquired autism. A person enters an autistic life even if they do not have genetically autistic behavior. They are only interested in computers, cannot be happy. They cannot form relationships with the opposite sex. Such a lifestyle emerges.”
“People must develop their skills in adapting to social norms.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that the World Health Organization has declared loneliness a global threat, said, “Individuals who have difficulty complying with social norms become antisocial if they quarrel with or oppose social norms, but they become asocial if they avoid social norms. Since humans are beings with relationships to social norms, they must develop their skills in adapting to social norms.”
Active asocials do not complain…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that active asocials do not complain about this, said, “They are happy that way. They do digital detox. They completely reject digital. Research is being done on people who advocate staying away from social media. One group says ‘it’s addictive.’ They completely reject it, saying ‘it affects my day, my life, everything.’ Another group says ‘it threatens my privacy and security.’ The third group says ‘it makes relationships artificial, I don’t like artificial relationships at all.’ The fourth group does not use it, saying ‘social media uses me as a consumption object.’”
“Digital suicides are increasingly on the rise.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, also drawing attention to digital addiction, said, “A person completely abandoning themselves to the digital world, becoming a slave to the digital world, is called digital suicide. Digital suicides are increasingly on the rise and globalizing. They live their entire social life there, are afraid to change, get lost in it, and enter into a false happiness.”
“The ‘be against everything’ approach is adopted by individuals who are not at peace with themselves.”
Tarhan stated that where individualization exists, there are freedoms, questioning, and openness and transparency, saying, “If a person is going to trust and commit to something, they trust and commit with their reasons. They do not put their mind in someone else’s pocket. Obedience that involves putting one’s mind in someone else’s pocket is entirely enslavement. Voluntary obedience to society and the system is important. Because not obeying is also being antisocial. An approach of being ‘against everything’ is adopted by individuals who are not at peace with themselves. However, when a person finds a true meaning and becomes part of that meaning, they feel a sense of belonging. They feel a sense of belonging to a family, a country, a religion. Because they are part of that meaning, they experience peace and secure attachment.”
“If their emotional literacy and social literacy are weak, they remain alone.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that asociality is a treatable condition, concluded his words as follows:
“A person becomes asocial if they want to. A person remains alone in society even if they don’t want to. They say, ‘I’m not aware, I’m alone even though I don’t want to be.’ They come for anxiety and depression. We investigate and find that these individuals cannot form relationships with people. We see two types of reasons. First, their emotional literacy and social literacy are weak. They cannot emotionally convey to the other person. Most likely, these are cases of high-functioning autism. They are high-functioning and intelligent. They are excellent in some areas, everyone applauds them, but they cannot go and chat with someone and become friends. They cannot converse with the opposite sex and remain alone. Social skills training is done for them. Through empathy exercises, they learn to read and understand the other person’s emotions, read and understand their own emotions, and work on relationship management.
The other reason, if remaining alone is related to social fears, the fear of making mistakes, or the fear of being criticized, then assertiveness training is conducted with them. With assertiveness training, work is done on initiative and boldness.”