President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan participated in an event organized by the Young Academicians Association Sakarya Provincial Representation, hosted by Sakarya University and Sakarya University of Applied Sciences. Speaking under the theme “Why Is Family the Final Refuge?”, Tarhan emphasized the importance of moral values and family norms in society. He underlined that the modern world isolates individuals, making the family the last safe harbor in this environment. Stressing that the greatest refuge for a person is their family, he also drew attention to the factors that weaken family structures.
The event took place at Sakarya University Culture and Congress Center, moderated by Psychological Counselor Emre Gürkan, and attended by Sakarya University Rector Prof. Hamza Al, Sakarya University of Applied Sciences Rector Prof. Mehmet Sarıbıyık, and many academics.
“Our emotions have a reflection in the brain”
Touching on studies in preventive mental health, Tarhan said: “A scientific revolution took place in the 1990s. A book titled The Descartes Error was published. After that book, science, which had long emphasized reason above all else, revealed that Descartes’ rationalism overlooked the brain’s emotional processing regions. It was discovered that our emotions also have a neurological basis. When this field emerged, I realized how deeply it aligned with our cultural values, Anatolian wisdom, and beliefs. I immediately embraced this area and began to work on it, because I noticed a moral decline in society, one that would inevitably affect families. That’s when I started preventive mental health projects, and our first book on the subject was published in 2000.”
“Protecting moral norms is in our hands”
Emphasizing that personality development depends on upbringing, Tarhan continued his remarks as follows: “There are three main norms that prevent people from doing wrong. The first is legal norms, which are laws and regulations. Currently, in no country in the world are legal norms fully upheld; laws are written, but eventually remain only on paper. The second is social norms, which include traditions, customs, and cultural values, but these are also changing rapidly today. The third is family norms. So why can’t we protect family norms anymore? Because now, every home has an open door, that is, the smartphone. It can penetrate even the safest environments without control. The fourth norm, which protects both the individual and the family, is moral norms. These represent the internal jury within our conscience, which is our our inner system of self-regulation. This is part of cognitive and moral development. Today, character formation depends entirely on upbringing: if raised well, a person becomes good; if not, bad. Protecting moral norms is in our hands. No one can take that away from us. Even technology cannot change our morals unless we allow it. Right now, there is an effort to reshape morality, especially around the concept of family. That’s why our greatest responsibility is to preserve our own moral norms.”
Family: The last safe haven in modern loneliness
Tarhan emphasized that the growing sense of loneliness and weakening emotional bonds in today’s world make individuals more fragile. He noted that technology, career ambitions, and the pressures of individualism isolate people, and in these challenging conditions, the family becomes the person’s greatest refuge. He described the family as an indispensable “emotional safety zone” for individuals and underlined that the sense of belonging it provides is vital for psychological well-being.
Factors threatening the institution of family
In his speech, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan also discussed the main reasons that weaken the family structure. He pointed out that excessive individualism, a “me-centered” lifestyle, the constant search for approval on social media, worsening economic conditions, and the perception of relationships as consumable all threaten the institution of family. Tarhan warned that individuals who grow up in families lacking love may face serious attachment problems later in life. He once again emphasized the importance of a loving and emotionally secure family environment.
“Mediation is highly effective in family problems”
Highlighting the importance of family mediation, Tarhan said:“Mediation in commercial disputes was introduced and has shown about 70 percent success. Now, there is a mediation system for rental cases as well, but family mediation has not yet been implemented. Normally, family issues are taken directly to court. Once the case reaches court, both sides begin to blame and criticize each other, which often leads to divorce based on incompatibility, leaving no room for reconciliation. However, the Qur’an says, ‘Appoint an arbiter.’ Would God give such guidance for something insignificant? This shows that the matter is highly important. When a mediator is involved, lawyers focus mainly on the legal framework, but mediation aims to reconcile the parties. Of course, there can be exceptions; if there is violence or physical harm, such cases should be treated separately. Apart from that, mediation is very effective in resolving family issues. In Gaziantep, this system was tested as a pilot project and produced successful results. Municipalities or state institutions can now establish Family Academies to apply this model. Such initiatives would serve as preventive measures and represent an important step toward preventing family breakdowns.”
“Marriage means accepting a new form of life”
Tarhan explained that love is not the cause of marriage but its result: “If a person’s intention is good, they will always find the right path. Where there is goodwill and love, there will be solutions. Love is important, but it does not need to be perfect. If it is above 50 percent, the relationship can work. The formula is simple: Love plus Cooperation equals a Happy Marriage. Partners must learn to cooperate. Today’s generation tends to wait until they fall in love before marrying. I once watched a video where someone was asked, ‘What is love?’ He replied, ‘Love is electricity, two people exchanging energy.’ Then they asked, ‘What is marriage?’ and he said, ‘It’s the bill.’ We should not look at it so simplistically. Marriage is not a bill, but it does come with a cost. I compare marriage to H₂O. Hydrogen and oxygen move freely in the atmosphere; one is flammable and the other explosive, but when they come together, they lose their individual freedom and form a new substance, water, a new form of life. Marriage is the same. If you say, ‘I want to stay free, live however I like, and still be married,’ that is not possible. Marriage means accepting a new form of life, just like H₂O.”
“Monotheism is the most rational belief”
Emphasizing the importance of scientific integrity in today’s world, Tarhan said: “Scientific soundness currently supports Islam and the Qur’an. We can use scientific reasoning to persuade the people of this era. We should not adopt the understanding that religion and science are separate. I see that many theologians today find comfort in this distinction, but religion and science are two branches of the same truth. They do not contradict each other. This is the domain of ilm al-kalam, or rational faith. Rational faith is tawhid, the belief in the oneness of God. Today, science shows that monotheism is the most logical and consistent belief system. Our duty is to explain this truth. When a parent conveys this understanding to their child, they do not just transfer knowledge; they also nurture faith awareness. Parents’ role is to guide and support their children.”
“The language of our era should be sincerity and purity”
Speaking about the complementarity of men and women, Tarhan stated: “The global system today has turned marriage into a rivalry between men and women. However, in the family model described by Islam, men and women complement each other. They are not rivals or opponents; they do not seek to dominate one another. Instead, they complete each other. Our cultural family structure is a good example of this. Everyone in the household treats one another with respect. The home becomes a refuge, a safe and peaceful space. In the past, we used to describe the family as a ‘home of love.’ Now we call it a ‘home of security.’ Of course, love must exist first in order for security to emerge. We must remember that the most powerful form of communication is the language of sincerity. Sincerity and authenticity are essential. The language of this era should be one of sincerity and purity.”
The conference, which attracted great interest, concluded with a Q&A session where participants asked Prof. Nevzat Tarhan their questions. At the end of the event, Sakarya University Rector Prof. Hamza Al presented a token of appreciation to Prof. Nevzat Tarhan.