Sufism researcher Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören, stating that the necessary environment should be prepared for a dying person to spend their last moments in peace, said, “It has been recommended that loved ones be present by the bedside of a dying person as they are about to meet Allah, and that the declaration of monotheism (Lâ ilâhe illallah) be recited softly and gently.”
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören:
“In healthcare institutions, where relatives cannot be present, it would be beneficial for at least a religious official to accompany the patient and bid them farewell with prayers and tawhids. A legal regulation should be made in this regard.”
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören, a faculty member at Üsküdar Üniversitesi Institute of Sufi Studies, evaluated the topic of death and grief.
The Holy Quran Explains the Reason for Human's Arrival in the World…
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören, stating that human's arrival in the world is beyond their will and that death is an inevitable phenomenon, said, “Humankind comes into the world without their own will and tastes death after living for a certain period. The Holy Quran explains the reason for human's arrival in the world as good servitude, preparation, and a test for eternal life. Those who do good in this world will be met with goodness in the afterlife, while the wicked will face a troubled life. Our Prophet divided the deceased into two categories: the faithful and good-doers as 'those who have retired to rest,' and the wicked as 'those whose death brings comfort to people,' and said, 'From the moment a believer dies, they are freed from the hardships, pain, and torment of the world. When a disbeliever or someone persistent in evil dies, people, countries, the environment, and all living beings are saved from their evil.'”
“Some See Their Place in Paradise Before Dying and Rejoice!”
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören explained that for those who attain the quality of being a “friend of Allah” by avoiding evil and living and spreading goodness and beauty, death ceases to be a frightening situation. “They even begin to feel the joy of reuniting with the Beloved through death. Some of them smile while dying, some rejoice as if they will fly from happiness, some show signs of life after passing away, and some see their place in paradise before dying and rejoice. That is why many friends of Allah, like Mevlânâ Celâleddin-i Rûmî, have referred to death as 'şeb-i arûs,' meaning the wedding night, a reunion with the beloved. Such a death essentially signifies a new birth,” he said.
What Should Be Done for a Dying Person to Spend Their Last Moments in Peace?
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören stated the following regarding a dying person spending their last moments in peace:
“The necessary environment must be prepared for a person who is about to die to spend their last moments in peace. Since they are about to meet Allah, it is recommended that loved ones be present by their deathbed and that the declaration of monotheism (Lâ ilâhe illallah) be recited softly and gently. However, it is known that many people pass away in healthcare institutions rather than at home with their loved ones. Therefore, in situations where relatives cannot be present in healthcare institutions, it would be beneficial for at least a religious official to accompany the patient and bid them farewell with prayers and tawhids. I must state that there is a strong need for a legal regulation in this regard.”
How Should the Grief Process Be?
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören stated that our religion asks us to be patient and resilient in the face of death and similar calamities, saying, “Like birth and life, death should also be accepted naturally, showing contentment with divine decree, and lessons for the afterlife should be drawn from the event of death. Of course, a person grieves when they lose a loved one; they moan and weep. However, it is not appropriate to act excessively with wailing and lamentations. Our Prophet stated that weeping in sadness is a normal human behavior, but excesses such as beating one's cheeks or tearing one's collars are not correct. Therefore, actions like tearing hair, ripping clothes, scratching one's face and chest, throwing ash on one's head, beating one's knees, wearing black, and cursing fate while weeping are considered sinful and forbidden.”
How to Offer Condolences?
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören also touched upon the topic of condolences and stated the following:
“Condolence (tâziye) refers to encouraging those whose loved ones have passed away to show patience and resilience, offering condolences, comforting them, and sharing their sorrow. It is known that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) comforted those whose loved ones died by saying, 'Allah is the Giver and the Taker; everything has a set time with Him.' Prayers for the deceased should be offered with words like, 'May Allah have mercy on him/her; may his/her abode be paradise; may Allah forgive his/her shortcomings.' Furthermore, the relatives of the deceased are also comforted with phrases such as, 'May those who remain be well; may Allah grant patience; may Allah grant a good long life to those who remain; may Allah not show any other sorrow; one does not die with the dead, sooner or later we will all die; may Allah grant faith.'”
No Foul Words Should Be Said About the Deceased!
Prof. Dr. Reşat Öngören also pointed out that the deceased should be commemorated with their good memories and good deeds, in accordance with the command of our Prophet, and that no foul words should be spoken about them, saying, “Also, according to the recommendation of our Prophet, food should be taken to the house of mourning. It is known that after a death, great Sufi masters would recite seventy thousand declarations of monotheism (Lâ ilâhe illallah), performing a 'tawhid completion' and dedicating its reward to the deceased. Furthermore, while offering prayers, reading and having the Quran read are very meritorious and beneficial for the deceased, the practice of providing food and distributing halva specifically on the seventh, fortieth, and fifty-second days are things that emerged later.”