Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was a live guest on Ülke TV's program 'As the World Changes'. In the program, which addressed the topic of 'Social Media and the Desire to be Liked', Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated; “Currently, social norms in society have changed. Social walls have been torn down. The social boundaries protecting children no longer exist. The only fortress protecting children remains the family. But social media is the open door of the house within the family fortress. So are smartphones. One can easily enter the safe environment of the home through them. For this reason, social media creates an unsafe space within the safe environment of the home.”
“Speed and pleasure have become the most important life purpose for today's people”
Emphasizing that people's life purpose has changed today, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said; “Besides going fast, we also chase pleasure. So, speed and pleasure have become the most important life purpose for today's people. It has become the doctrine not only for young people but for all popular culture today. The first point of the California syndrome is hedonism. The person sees their pleasures as an ego ideal and chooses to pursue pleasure as a life goal. The psychology association has a statement. Displaying one's ego more than three times a day is taken as a narcissism score. For example, a selfie is a post made by a person to display themselves and their ego, solely to get themselves liked. It's not sharing information, words, or topics, but sharing to get oneself liked. When this situation exceeds three times a day, it means that person has moved towards the pathological limit regarding selfies or the desire to be liked. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that the person is entering into narcissistic tendencies.”
“Human psychological nature is nourished by applause, by praise”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that narcissistic impulses and tendencies increase after praise, said; “Human psychological and biological nature is prone to being liked. That is a natural condition. In fact, I know a businessman. He is fishing in Marmaris. He tells his friends, 'Look, I caught a lot of nice fish very easily here.' His friends say, 'You don't need to; you could have just stayed there.' The man replies, 'But the fish don't applaud me.' Here, the man is nourished by applause. Human psychological nature is nourished by applause, by praise, and what happens when its dose gets out of control? Our narcissistic impulses and tendencies increase. This means we are facing a situation that could become a global pandemic. For this reason, we will talk more about narcissism. We will address topics such as egocentrism, a person seeing themselves as special, important, and superior, and their sense of entitlement being directed towards themselves, according to narcissistic tendencies.”
“The 21st Century will push humanity to question and self-criticize, enabling the search for meaning”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that people today live without questioning the meaning of life, said; “Currently, the 21st Century is experiencing a crisis of meaning compared to the 20th Century. We never question the meaning of existence, the meaning of life. There is a philosophy that sees eating, drinking, and reproduction as the meaning of life. Existentialist philosophy currently accepts this as true. There is even Albert Camus, for example, one of the founders of existentialist philosophy, absurdism. He says, 'Humanity's search for meaning is very absurd. Why should we chase meaning? There are three kinds of searches for meaning. One is to take refuge in a religious belief, you relax and are happy until you die. I cannot do this. The path I have chosen is this: to ignore meanings, to fight absurdity and nonsense, to reject meaning—I make this my philosophy of life.' He writes books about this, but as these books sell, they also provide ego gratification. He has chosen this path. I believe the 21st Century will be what changes humanity's search for meaning. It will push humanity to question and self-criticize, enabling the search for meaning.”
“Social boundaries protecting children no longer exist”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that a safe space for children and a safe cultural transmission are slowly disappearing, said; “The desire to be liked is actually not just a desire to be liked, but a desire for acceptance. While the most important thing for adolescents is shown as being liked, there is actually a need for approval behind it. I am talking about the need for acceptance. This is the most important need during adolescence. To be included in the social structure, adolescence is also considered the 'gang age'. During this time, the adolescent asks questions such as 'who am I, where should I belong, and for what purpose?' When a young person enters adolescence, they begin to break away from the family. They find another area to belong to and thus must search for and find their own identity. There is an identity confusion. Within this identity confusion, they find their own identity and become themselves. They take what they learn from the society they live in, from their mother and father, something from the family, something from social media, and find their own identity. In such situations, cultural transmission is very important. Globally, neighborhoods used to handle cultural transmission, families used to. Primarily, the family transmitted cultural values. Currently, social norms in society have changed. Social walls have been torn down. The social boundaries protecting children no longer exist. The only fortress protecting children remains the family. But social media is the open door of the house within the family fortress. So are smartphones. One can easily enter the safe environment of the home through them. For this reason, social media creates an unsafe space within the safe environment of the home.”
“If we try to analyze a person by disregarding their narcissistic traits, we will be mistaken”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, speaking about the stages of narcissistic investment in children, said; “Humans have psychosocial needs, and among these are narcissistic needs. A child first makes narcissistic investments and satisfies narcissistic needs in themselves. They see themselves as the center of the world, but as they grow, they begin to make narcissistic investments in their mother, father, family, and the society they live in—in all of them. Ultimately, they make it in their homeland, in the Creator, in the universe, and discover life by making narcissistic investments. They discover meaning, but if a child only makes narcissistic investments in themselves after adolescence, Sigmund Freud described a very good pathology for this. He called this condition 'Secondary Narcissism.' What is present in Secondary Narcondissism? After a person grows up and gains a certain socialization, they suddenly begin to withdraw into themselves, creating an autistic world. They detach from the outside world and form secondary narcissism within an autistic satisfaction. Narcissism in a child is primary narcissism. We cannot disregard a person's effort to satisfy these narcissistic needs. Sigmund Freud says, 'Because humans exist in life by being liked, accepted, belonging to the society they live in, and connecting with it.' So, if we try to analyze a person by disregarding their narcissistic traits, we will be mistaken.”
“Global services see social media as a psychological warfare method”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, speaking about social media being identified as the main tool to reach targets over masses, said; “In 2015, the UK established the 'Social Media Brigade'. When I heard this, I thought they couldn't be serious. I wondered why they would use this name, but unfortunately, if you check online, it's named '72nd'. Currently, a group of at least perhaps a thousand people is being formed related to social media, and it's called the 'Social Media Brigade'. Giving it the name 'Social Media Brigade' means it is seen as an argument for war. This implies that the UK or global services see social media here as a method of psychological warfare. They have chosen social media as the main tool to achieve their goals. For this reason, social media has become a very important tool for influencing people, youth, and generations.”