Highlighting the importance of communication in the family, the foundation of society, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan reminded of the 'golden mean' rule in healthy communication. Tarhan stated that if there is love and good intentions, 80% of problems are solved, and noted that the magic word in family communication is cooperation.
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was a live broadcast guest on the 'Dost Konuşmalar' program, presented by Mehmet Emiroğlu and aired on Dost TV. Tarhan made evaluations regarding topics such as 'The importance of kind words, family communication.'
'The worst form of communication is lack of communication'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, drawing attention to three types of communication, listed them as healthy communication, conflictual communication, and lack of communication. Tarhan said, 'Healthy communication is where everything can be discussed, where wrong and right can be spoken. The second is conflictual communication, which means communication where, when discussing a topic, the tone of voice immediately rises, parties become tense, get angry and sulk, and fights and conflicts emerge. In this communication method, conflicts and fights turn into violence. The third is lack of communication. Lack of communication is worse than conflictual communication. Because in lack of communication, there's an element of playing for time. Both parties have emotionally given up on each other; there is an emotional abandonment. The worst form of communication is lack of communication. In lack of communication, there is neither information exchange nor a strong feeling of loneliness,' he stated.
'More than 50% of the human brain develops between the ages of 0-3'
Tarhan, addressing important points in parent-child communication, said: 'Today, we have children we describe as 'apartment children.' More than 50% of the human brain develops between the ages of 0-3. During this period, in addition to physical care, love must also be conveyed to the child. Children need a mother or a permanent caregiver to act as a mother until the age of three. These caregivers must instill a sense of trust in children. In children who do not develop a sense of trust, the brain remains under constant stress. A stressed child cannot eat or express themselves. Many sudden deaths also occur for this reason,' he stated.
'The golden mean' rule in healthy communication'
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that one of the important points in family communication is the 'golden mean' rule: 'In healthy communication, there is the 'golden mean' rule. Parties meet at a middle point. If one spouse wants something and the other wants something else, one should take a step and the other should take a step, thus they will meet at the 'golden mean.' When it is always said 'you will follow my rules,' a relationship based on threat emerges. At the 'golden mean,' a relationship based not on threat but on sharing emerges. But the most beautiful sharing is the sharing of feelings. When the expectations, physical, psychological, and emotional needs of the parties are discussed; both sides take a step each to meet in the middle and try to reach a compromise. Modernism presents the relationship between women and men as a competitive relationship. However, currently, there should be co-management in marriage, and balance should be established in male-female relationships,' he stated.
'The magic word in family communication is 'Cooperation''
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, drawing attention to the importance of love in family relationships, said: 'Love is important in family relationships. If there is love and good intentions, 80% of problems are solved. However, people do not know how to solve problems. The magic word in family communication is cooperation. If there is a loving gaze, a smile, kind words, and a warm touch within the family, marital problems will be easily resolved. As with all good things, in marriage, it is necessary to dedicate time and strive to solve problems if they exist,' he stated.