Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founder and Chairman of the Board of Trustees, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was the guest of Siyer Foundation's Women's Studies' "Morality Year Women's Conferences". Making important evaluations on 'Marriage and Family Morality', Tarhan stated that moral values are the most important common value that keeps a family together. Tarhan, who said that if a family lacks common norms, all kinds of evil will find a way in that family, noted that schools based on a capitalist education system do not protect children, and children get lost. Emphasizing that love and trust do not form in inconsistent, ruleless environments, Tarhan said, "If we cannot teach a strong morality to generations, our children become Hollywood's children."
“Love and trust do not form in ruleless environments”
In the program broadcast live on Instagram, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that an environment of love and trust does not form where inconsistent and ruleless behaviors exist, and their formation depends solely on consistency. He made the following evaluations: “If a father only brings money and bread home, providing for the needs of the house, he only fulfills one duty of his fatherly role. The father's other roles in the house are that of a husband and a father. He needs to live all of these separately. If he only acts as a businessman bringing bread home, he neglects his roles as a father and a husband. He cannot make the home warm and lovely. Therefore, the family being a safe space is very important in the definition of family. After these definitions, family values come, but this is the fundamental value. If there is no safe space at home, material and spiritual accumulations are not important. If you kiss and hug your child in the morning, then yell and shout at them in the evening, trust will not form in the child. There is love, but no trust because there is inconsistency. Love and trust do not form in inconsistent relationships and disciplines, in ruleless environments. For trust to form, there must certainly be a stable, consistent, and continuous disciplinary environment filled with love.” he said.
The most important value that keeps a family together; Morality!
Prof. Dr. Tarhan underlined that moral education begins in childhood and if this education is not provided, children will become 'Hollywood children'. Tarhan said; “Morality needs to be viewed in a biopsychosocial spiritual dimension. When researching criminal behavior in the human brain, when investigating why some people commit crimes, it's found that the frontal regions of the brain are damaged, and people cannot learn moral norms. Without the frontal region of our brain, there would be no civilization. It is the front part of the brain that makes us human and is related to human behavior. Therefore, morality is essentially the education of this region and it starts in childhood. The most important common value that keeps a family together is moral values. If a family lacks common norms, all kinds of evil will find a way in that family. The concept of morality is very important for this reason. There is no doctrine of morality in our education system, or it exists in a very weak form. If we cannot teach a strong morality to generations, our children become Hollywood’s children.” he stated.
Schools based on a capitalist education system do not protect children…
Drawing attention to the family institution being the last refuge, Tarhan said; “In autocratic families, discipline is based on fear. When a child deviates from what the parents say, they become the exact opposite of what the family desires. One, two hundred years ago, there were people from society and the family circle who corrected the mistakes of parents. Now, there is no environment or neighborhood to correct these. Furthermore, our education, with schools based on a capitalist education system, does not protect children, and children get lost. Therefore, our family is the last refuge. Our family is the last remaining safe space, and we must never forget this. If we allow the family to lose its characteristic as the last refuge, twenty years later we will turn into a society where people devour each other. Just as global peace will not remain, social peace will not remain either.” he said.
“We need to implement the 5S+1M rule in the family”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan; “There is a 5S+1M rule I always mention. The 5S are; love, respect, patience, loyalty, and sincerity, and the 1M is spiritual accumulations. If a family has this 5S+1M rule, solving problems in that family becomes very easy. We need to implement these rules in the family.” he noted.