“A person with a big ego cannot be happy,” said Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that success lies in inner peace, adding, “Truly successful people are those with inner peace. There are people who see themselves as great and arrogant; they argue with the door's threshold.”
Stating that health is physical comfort and well-being, Prof. Dr. Tarhan says, “'Afiyet' (wellness/ease) is psychological comfort and well-being. When these two, health and 'afiyet', come together, there is peace.”
Founding Rector of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, evaluated the topic of peace and its importance in human life.
Tarhan: “The word 'huzur' has a cultural dimension”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that the word 'huzur' does not have a complete cultural equivalent in English, stating, “It is translated into Turkish as (happiness, subjective well-being), but the meaning of 'huzur' as we understand it and the word 'huzur' in Western culture are different. Therefore, the word 'huzur' has a cultural dimension.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that Western culture identifies the word 'huzur' with happiness, but that happiness there is pleasure-oriented and a search for excitement, stating, “It hasn't been conceptualized because there was no need. Because happiness and peace were thought of as pleasure-oriented…”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan explained that humanism, which emerged as a reaction against Christian culture that 'devalues humans and considers them born sinners,' is a structure that is human-centered, sacralizes humans, makes them egocentric, and inflates the ego of the egocentric person, and continued:
Tarhan: “A person with a big ego cannot be happy”
“A person with a big ego cannot be happy. A human model pursuing pleasure has been defined. Constantly in what we call stimulated affect, meaning constantly in excitement. In America, they become overjoyed at the slightest thing. They rejoice at everything, an excessive display of emotion is made. Thus, they are constantly in search of excitement. This time, they completely reject negative emotions, and a philosophy that ignores negative emotions emerges. However, negative emotions are also a reality of human life. It is necessary to manage these two; when this cannot be managed, a hedonistic philosophy emerges.
Rejecting the negative, rejecting pain, avoiding pain, and seeking pleasure is currently the philosophy of the West. This philosophy neglects inner peace in such situations, seeking external satisfaction. It seeks external happiness, meaning 'do this and be happy,' 'win this and be happy,' in other words, they have focused success on becoming rich. However, success is in inner peace. Truly successful people are those who possess inner peace. There are people who see themselves as great and arrogant; they argue with the door's threshold. Is this person successful? Rich but not happy; there are many such people in the West.”
Tarhan: “People living in the past cannot be happy and peaceful”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that living in the present moment, not just reliving memories, is important, and said that people stuck in the past, constantly living with 'if onlys,' or reliving events from five or ten years ago as if they happened yesterday, cannot be happy and peaceful.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also noted that those who have anxieties about the future, saying 'what if this happens to me in 2 months,' cannot be peaceful, stating, “People are crushed under the words 'if only' and 'I wonder.' A peaceful person evaluates the past, learns lessons, looks to the future, makes plans, but lives today at peace with themselves. For this reason, the phrase 'living at peace with oneself' expresses the word 'huzur' very well. In fact, this is called authentic happiness in the premium of happiness.”
‘My hands and arms are tied, but my soul is not…’
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan recounted that Mevlana went to a mental patient and asked, ‘Your hands and arms are tied, but you are very cheerful, how is this possible?’, and the patient, laughing, replied, ‘My hands and arms are tied, but my soul is not tied, I am quite happy,’ expressing that human life in the world is also like this.
A life without sorrow is not possible
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also recounted that Mevlana saw his son very sad and sorrowful, and when he put a wolf skin on his head and imitated a wolf, his son said, ‘Father, you made me laugh.’ Mevlana replied, ‘I didn't do it to make you laugh. A wolf is normally a frightening animal; you laughed because you knew I was behind the skin. In fact, the things behind the pains you are experiencing are not all real. See what is behind your sorrow. I did it to make you see that the sorrow is not worth being sorrowful for.’ Prof. Dr. Tarhan added, “With a wonderful metaphor, he enables him to analyze sorrow correctly. Because a life without sorrow is not possible.”
Tarhan: “We have become so egocentric that…”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, drawing attention to the insensitivity of some segments towards the events in Gaza and what is happening in the region, said, “People avoid confrontation. We have become so egocentric, we look from our own window so much… One looks at it, thinks with that pain, but by accepting the pain related to it—and the first condition of peace is to accept pain, then to manage it. In such situations, should we sit and cry? No, not crying. By asking 'What should I do here? What is my part here?' and doing something, one feels like a part of a greater meaning and experiences peace. Then one can look at everything holistically and universally. Then one can achieve peace.”
Tarhan: “Even in the worst environment, one can achieve peace”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that the events in Gaza should be understood correctly by thinking, ‘What is my responsibility? What is our country's responsibility? What is in the divine plan? What is fate's message to us?’, said, “Sometimes there are such beautiful speeches. A speaker says, ‘Islam is seeking new geographies.’ For example, this also means correctly interpreting this event and developing one's perspective. Looking at events, such as ‘What is the plan of the Creator of this universe?’, gives people peace. Therefore, even in the worst environment, one can achieve peace. Achieving peace is not about escaping from pain or the negative. It is about taking the positive and negative together, drawing lessons from them, and doing something towards the positive.”
Tarhan: “One achieves peace when one grasps the 'ought-self'”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that people have a real self and an ideal self they wish to be, stating, “And also an 'ought-self'... We cannot always reach the ideal self. To maintain balance among those three selves… Because the ideal self is not realistic. When one grasps the 'ought-self', one achieves peace. For this, one must embark on an inner journey and get to know oneself. Giving oneself over to entertainment, always seeking joy and pleasure, partying hard. This is not peace.”
‘Wellbeing’ or the state of ‘being in Afiyet’…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that the state where the brain secretes more serotonin is called a relaxing emotional state, stating, “There is active affect. Relaxing affect and secure affect. Managing these three affects simultaneously is peace. Not just focusing on one, living disconnected from the world, only feeling safe in the secure environment of home, does not provide constant peace either. We will succeed in activating that inner pharmacy in our brain, the balance of these three innate chemicals. In fact, we will be like a chemist to ourselves. It is called subjective well-being or 'huzur', or ‘Wellbeing’ in current literature. A state of goodness and well-being. That is, its Turkish equivalent in our literature is actually the word 'afiyet' in ‘May Allah grant health and afiyet’ (wellness/ease)….” he informed.
Tarhan: “You will accept mistakes, but you will manage them”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that health is physical comfort and well-being, and continued:
“'Afiyet' (wellness/ease) is also psychological comfort and well-being. It is stated as such in literature; when these two, health and 'afiyet', are together, there is peace. Because it is not easy for a sick person. One must be like Prophet Job (Hz. Eyüp), meaning not losing peace despite the illness… That is a great trial. But it is something only prophets could achieve. For example, the word 'serenity' is also close to 'huzur'. You can remain calm amidst storms. Tranquillity, silent but able to remain silent amidst such a hubbub. It is also called equanimity. More in the style of calmness. So, for this, the first condition is acceptance. You will accept, but acceptance is not surrender. You will accept mistakes, but you will manage them. But before this, you must certainly have an ego ideal in your life. The ego ideal, which we call the ideal self, is something for which effort will be expended, one will tire, suffer hardship, and endure. That is, like a colorful shadow, it escapes as you try to catch it, but if you go towards your goal, it will naturally follow you. That is, both happiness and peace. For example, when you say 'I want to be peaceful,' you won't be. Self-compassion, that is, being compassionate towards oneself. Some people are complainers, sacrificial, always givers. They struggle but are not happy. This is where self-compassion has not been developed.”
Tarhan: "The measure of gratitude is contentment…”
Referring to the word 'şükür' (gratitude), Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, “In literature, 'huzur' (peace) is referred to as knowing the value of what one possesses. The feeling of contentment, the feeling of satisfaction… The measure of gratitude is contentment. A person who is content is grateful. Being able to be happy with small things. When you achieve this, you fulfill the conceptual meaning of gratitude; this feeling exists as thankfulness towards the one who bestowed that blessing upon you.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also explained that the feeling of gratitude makes one feel good, adding, “When we look at unhappy people, those who think ‘I deserve everything, I am the best,’ have no ability to be happy with small things. This needs to be learned, and another thing that prevents happiness is wanting to change the world, one's home, one's child. Instead of changing the world, let's change ourselves; let's be happy with ordinary things. If we succeed in these two, achieving peace becomes very easy with these two concepts. When you wake up in the morning, look, my hands and arms are sound, I am in a warm home, my family and children are with me. This is a matter of gratitude for me, and not immediately bringing negative thoughts to mind, knowing the value of what one possesses, being happy with routine things, that is. When you achieve this, there is a sense of ease; you can do difficult things more comfortably, but otherwise, other things break your motivation.” he concluded.