Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was a guest on the live broadcast program organized by Australia Women’s Craigieburn Branch (ICMG). Making evaluations under the title “Changing World and Kindness”, Tarhan said: “Unrequited kindness has a captivating effect. Because when kindness is added to love, it becomes compassion. That's why we need to make time to do unrequited kindness for those with whom we have close relationships. We should start with our families first. Parental affection means doing unrequited kindness to one's child.”
“There is no social transformation without mental transformation”
Tarhan, speaking about 21st-century skills in the family, said: “We are facing a world that is seriously changing. In a changing world, many values have changed, and their essence has also worn out. It is necessary to revive their essence without getting stuck on their forms and bring them back to life. Just like before the establishment of the Ottoman Empire. There was an interregnum period in Anatolia. On one side were the Mongols, on the other were the Knights Templar. Then internal conflicts arose, and there was no security left. During the interregnum, Rumi (Mevlâna), Yunus Emre, Hacı Bayram Veli, Hacı Bektaş Veli, Ahi Evran emerged. All of these are essentially the Alperens (heroic spiritual leaders) of Anatolia. They began to repair the mental decay of that period. The repairs they made transformed people. Later, within 50-100 years, an empire like the Ottoman Empire began to grow. But for this to grow, mental transformation is absolutely necessary. Without mental transformation, there is no social transformation, and no political transformation. Social transformation means cultural transformation.”
“We are in a time when the devil's horse roams the square”
Tarhan, pointing out that the family is the last refuge, stated: “There are outer walls that protect the family. These are social norms, social values. Not peer pressure. Neighborly relations, such as 'It's a shame, my daughter,' or 'Don't do it, my son,' were social relations, a social control system. This social control system, these social norms, have deteriorated in this century. This has completely facilitated the situation in this period, based on the communication mobility, social mobility, economic mobility, financial mobility, and intellectual mobility brought by popular culture. We are in a time when the devil's horse roams the square. In such a time, those who speak the truth are few. Those who exploit the truth are also few, and their voice is weak. So what shall we do? The social walls, the social norms that protected our family, have collapsed. Our family is an inner fortress. We need to protect this inner fortress. That is, social norms are being protected.”
“Unrequited kindness has a captivating effect”
Tarhan stated that unrequited kindness makes people happy: “The reason why people in the West become Muslims is Islam's philosophy of doing unrequited kindness. Unrequited kindness has a captivating effect. Believe me, it causes many people to love Islam. Because when kindness is added to love, it becomes compassion. Compassion, the attribute of Rahman (the Most Merciful), is also mentioned in the Quran. Allah, who is Rahman and Rahim (the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful), manifests with the name Rahman even to those who oppose Him and challenge Him in this world. That is why we should make time to do unrequited kindness to those with whom we have close relationships. We should start with our families first. In fact, we should start this at a young age. Parental affection means doing unrequited kindness to one's child. Instead of taking our child aside and correcting them, we should take them by our side and walk together. That is why, in family relationships, there is a dimension of friendship as well as camaraderie.”
“Children's morals and beliefs have begun to be questioned”
Tarhan stated that children no longer grow up very securely: “As our child grows up, the social control system grows weak. In other words, children can easily access unsafe websites. Children's morals and beliefs have begun to be questioned. In fact, that's why we call these smartphones or televisions 'the open door of the house.' What happens if you leave the door of the house open? Unnecessary things enter the house. For example, we will not give our child a tablet and tell them to keep busy. We will sit down with them and talk about what is wrong and what is right. We will explain to the child with reasons. When television first emerged in the world, its name was 'Magic Box.' That is, it is mentioned in Surah Az-Zukhruf. Pharaoh, it says, 'stupefies the community with magicians.' Currently, social media, television, etc., stupefy society and bind it to themselves. They stupefy and change the place of truths. In such situations, those who are awake are not affected by this. For this, we will protect our social norms, our cultural norms.”
“It is necessary to raise educated children, not many children”
Tarhan, stating that every family has values, said: “If a mother and father dedicated half an hour to their child fifty years ago, they should dedicate an hour now. They shouldn't say, 'Let's have four or five children.' They will have two children but will raise them by dedicating time. Otherwise, they will raise soldiers for the Dajjal (Antichrist). There's no joking about it. It's necessary to raise educated children, not many children. It's important for us to dedicate time to this. When we don't do this, because we do not adhere to Allah's name (wisdom), no matter how well-intentioned we are, we cannot protect our children. Because Allah acts wisely in this world, and some things manifest. If you manifest in the name of Al-Hakeem (the All-Wise) but do not adhere to that name, and you jump from the tenth floor saying, 'Allah will protect me,' Allah will not protect you. This does not conform to Allah's wisdom. You would be committing an insolence like testing Allah, and you would pay the price. That is why the social norms that protect the family are being harmed here. In many places, there is a fire in the family. Let's not fall into despair or pessimism. Let's adhere to the methods of extinguishing fires and preventing them from starting.”