“Psychology Talks from Existence to the Search for Meaning,” organized by the Conscience of the Age Club with the support of Üsküdar University's Health, Culture and Sports (SKS) Department, was held this week with the intense participation of students, as it is every week. Tarhan, stating that if a person creates a mental sanctuary, they feel peaceful there; “The most important reason for prayer to have a spirit is for it to be sincere and pure. You are on a battlefield, you have found a shelter. You take refuge there to feel safe. In situations like calamities, troubles, and illnesses, taking refuge in Allah is called a mental sanctuary in psychological terminology. If a person creates a mental sanctuary, they feel peaceful there.” Tarhan emphasized that unknowingly, the mistake of not intervening in evil is currently being made, adding that this is not the time to withdraw and think about oneself.
“Companionship removes loneliness, prayer creates a mental sanctuary for a person”
In the online meetings held every week, Üsküdar University Founding Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the most important reason for prayer to have a spirit is that it contains the characteristics of sincerity and purity. Tarhan said; “If a person feels relief after praying, it means the first step towards acceptance has been taken. Here, one is freed from loneliness; by saying 'There is someone who hears me, there is someone who answers my prayers. There is a power that understands what is in my heart,' one finds a solution to the feeling of loneliness. This becomes a companionship. Companionship is when a person feels safe. To say there is companionship at home when one returns home means to see the home as a harbor. For a child, parents are the safest area. For example, you go to a meeting, you don't know anyone. You are all alone. If you have an acquaintance, you immediately go to them and talk to them. There is companionship there. That is why, because you know you are not alone in this prayer, companionship removes loneliness. Prayer is devotion. It is worship. The prayer for rain and the rain prayer are acts of worship. The absence of rain is the time for that worship. That worship and prayer are not to bring rain. The most important reason for prayer to have a spirit is for it to be sincere and pure. Without sincerity, it is not worthy of acceptance. Drought is the time for the prayer for rain. Imagine, you are on a battlefield. You have found a shelter. You have found a cave. You take refuge there to feel safe. In situations like calamities, troubles, and illnesses, taking refuge in Allah is called a mental sanctuary in psychological terminology. If a person creates a mental sanctuary, they feel peaceful there. In such situations, a person says; 'There is a power, a will that knows and controls everything.' For this, a person needs to have an appetite.”
“It's not about giving the right medicine, but finding the right method”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that answering a prayer is one thing and accepting it is another; “If a prayer is in line with one's vision, it is closer to acceptance. If it is not suitable, the prayer does not enter the target of acceptance. When a person asks ‘Why wasn't my prayer accepted?’, they should ask themselves whether they prayed in accordance with the spirit of the prayer. Answering a prayer is one thing, and accepting it is another. For example, a sick child says; ‘Doctor, look at me.’ The doctor replies; ‘What do you want?’ The child says; ‘Give me this medicine.’ The doctor either gives what is asked or gives something better based on the child's well-being. Or, if they know it will harm the child's illness, they don't give it at all. As the Almighty God, the Absolute Wise, is ever-present, He answers the prayer of His servant. This is also an answer. The doctor's answer, ‘This medicine is not good for you,’ is also an answer. This is also an answer. What does 'answer' mean? You ask a question, and in return, you receive feedback. Doing exactly what I say is, in a way, God forbid, trying to usurp God's role. 'I want this, I know what's best. You do this,' God forbid, these sentences are commands. For example, patients insistently come and say; 'Give me this treatment.' We examine it, and this treatment won't work. If they insist too much; 'Look, you are a mechanical engineer, and I am a doctor. You don't understand medicine, and I don't understand mechanical engineering. If you are asking for our help, please leave it to us how it will be done. You tell us your problem, and we will produce a solution,' we say. Let's communicate and move forward together. But they insist this will be the solution. This situation is more common with authoritarian parents. We see it a lot in child psychiatrists. If a person's sense of control, like 'I can do it, I know,' is high in treatment, they interfere with the treatment. We have a knowledge base. You have come to us for this. We will listen to you and use our knowledge base for your benefit, but please leave it to us how this will happen. Sometimes, if I give an intravenous medicine orally, it goes to waste. That is why it is not about giving the right medicine, but also finding the right method. In such situations, the person will state their opinion but leave the outcome to the expert.”
“It is necessary to distinguish boundaries well”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that Allah also has laws and that if one takes a position in accordance with those laws, prayers become closer to acceptance; “When you go to a doctor and say, ‘What is the most suitable medicine for my treatment? Give it to me,’ the person’s motivation to treat that patient increases. This is knowing one's boundaries. This situation is like knowing one's own boundaries and the boundaries of the Lord. It is necessary to distinguish them well. If you know this, you will not make a methodological error regarding the acceptance of prayer. One of the most important elements in the spirit of prayer is related to what attitude we will have with the acceptance of prayer. You want to fly a kite. Instead of saying it's Allah's power and might that flies the kite, you say it's the wind. It is not the power and might of the wind that flies the kite. It is the position the kite takes against the wind. If you can make it take the right position, you fly. If you can't, you go head over heels. Allah also has laws. If you take a position in accordance with them, your prayer approaches acceptance. Capturing the meaning and spirit of prayer is here.”
“Knowing what you want is important”
Tarhan, drawing attention to the necessity of knowing the position of the Creator of the universe; “Firstly, to understand the spirit of prayer, one needs to know what they want. If you pray for a cat to become a dog, it won’t happen. This is against nature. Knowing what you want is important. Secondly, it is to try to understand the plan of destiny. Allah speaks to us, but not with a language of words. He speaks with the language of events. If a person knows that there is the hand of destiny behind events; if they ask ‘Why isn’t it raining? Why did these events happen?’, then a person can understand the plan of destiny. Understanding the plan of destiny is like this example: you get a piece of software. How do you best solve this software? You look at what the logic of the person who wrote this software is. If you find these answers, it becomes easy to solve the problems in that software through reasoning. If you don't know the purpose of the software, you cannot understand its reasons. That is why, in the universe, one needs to know the position of the Creator of the universe. The Creator is the one who created the most important individuals in a position to know what is most beneficial for us. For example, when there is a problem with a washing machine, we apply to the manufacturer. When humans make demands from the Creator, the word 'Rab' (Lord) comes from the root of 'tarbiya' (to educate, to nurture). He has created us but also educates us. There is the path of the good and the path of the bad. We will go one of these two ways.”
“In this era, we have upset the balance of prayer”
Tarhan, stating that it is a great chance for a person to accept this entire monotheistic belief in this period; “One day a businessman came to me; he said, ‘I manage a company with a budget of one million dollars, but I cannot manage my blood pressure.’ He was suffering from a panic disorder. When he said that, I was a little surprised because he was a successful businessman. I told him; ‘You cannot manage it because your body is smarter than you.’ He has created such a beautiful balance there from creation, and the more you interfere with it, the opposite result occurs. The more you try to lower blood pressure, the more it increases. The more you avoid it, fearing it won't drop, the more it increases. However, if one saw the perfection in our body, believed in it, and trusted it, saying 'this body is smarter than me,' then the blood pressure would immediately drop, and one would relax, but they don't trust it, they want to control it. That sense of control is so high that it has brought him success, but it brings failure in his private life and health because he is overstepping his boundaries here. He is exceeding his own power, meaning he is interfering with Allah's work, with the Creator's work. That is why we have upset the balance of prayer in this era. That is why when these calamities, illnesses, and disasters come, a person will understand their pain. If a person accepts this entire monotheistic belief right now, it is a great chance.”
“Unknowingly, we make the mistake of not intervening in evil”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan reminded that this is not the time to withdraw and think about oneself; “Our birth in this geography, the cultural presentation of the monotheistic belief to us, is a great blessing. We do not know its value. They do not know it. They need to seek and find it. We need to go and explain it to them. If you want a concept of God, look, it's not like that, it's like this. If there is to be a God, it must be like this. Because in this world there are deeds, no accountability, but after death, there is accountability, no deeds. Because we did not do something we were supposed to do in this world, destiny holds us accountable. ‘I gave you so much knowledge, why did you not use it to convey the truth? Why did you not use it to bring people closer to Me?’ Just like when there is an accident, a traffic police officer's supervisor asks; ‘Why did you sit on the side and wait, why did you not intervene?’ Wouldn't they? They would have made the mistake of inaction. We are currently, unknowingly, making the mistake of not intervening in evil. That is why everyone, in their own capacity, should try to keep their own doorstep clean in this regard; it is a responsibility. This is not the time to withdraw and think about oneself.”