Üsküdar University Founding Rector and Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was a guest for the second time at VakıfBank's 'V Meets' talks. In the talk, attended by VakıfBank's senior executives from across Turkey, Tarhan made striking statements under the title of “Psychological Resilience”. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, drawing attention to how modernism glorifies pleasure-happiness, emphasized that intelligent people pursue not pleasure-happiness, but meaningful happiness. Tarhan underlined that when a person cannot change the flow of events in life, they must change their perspective, emphasizing that individuals can discover themselves in this way. Tarhan also stated that those who learn to manage their emotions can remain calm even under stress.
The online talk, moderated by Journalist Şaban Özdemir, attracted intense interest from VakıfBank employees across Turkey.
“We will be both happy and resilient”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that modernism glorifies pleasure-happiness in his speech, said: “When we evaluate happiness from the perspective of neuroscience, intelligent people pursue meaningful happiness, not pleasure-happiness. Modernism has glorified pleasure-happiness, and because it has glorified pleasure-happiness, the capitalist system is currently encouraging humanity towards it. In the global system, there is a consumption-oriented economy, rather than a production-oriented one, to keep the cycle of earning, working, and consuming turning. If production could be increased without consumption, everyone would become rich, but it is a consumption-oriented capitalist system. Then, because 'consume and be happy' is the philosophy of life, we can say that dopamine happiness and serotonin happiness encourage shopping according to need. Here, we will be both happy and resilient. How does this happen? What did we say is involved in meaningful happiness for a person to be happy? A person must first have a goal in their life. In your life, ‘What kind of life do you want to live when you reach the end of your life? What kind of meaning do you want to be a part of? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want written on your tombstone when you reach the end of your life? Do you want to be among the good or the bad? Do you want to be a personality representing good, or a personality representing evil?’ Here, purpose is very important.”
“When the flow doesn't change, the perspective must change”
Tarhan, speaking about how one can analyze oneself by finding their weaknesses and strengths, said: “The whole point here is to change one's perspective. When human beings cannot change the flow of events in life, they must change their perspective. When a person's perspective changes, they have taken the first step on their journey of discovery. Discovering oneself, knowing oneself... Generally, modernism always offers us a life philosophy focused on analyzing others, criticizing others, and being against others. However, this is a narcissistic trait. If we can look at both our strengths and weaknesses in this way, as if we were a third person, we can analyze ourselves.”
“Leadership focused on producing serotonin in the brain is true leadership”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, pointing out that Aristotle divided happiness into two, stated that these are meaningful happiness and pleasure happiness. Tarhan said: “Neuroleadership is the ability to manage brain chemistry. It has two pillars. One of these, dopamine-focused leadership, is pleasure-oriented. Dopamine is secreted in all addictions. When dopamine runs out, the brain searches for new dopamine. Pleasure continues, and the person falls into uncertainty. An uncertain person then seeks the substance and becomes addicted. But in meaningful happiness, Aristotle divides happiness into two: one is pleasure, the other is meaningful happiness. Meaningful happiness causes serotonin to be released in the brain. This provides sustainable happiness. In our culture, this is called huzur (peace/serenity). Leadership focused on producing serotonin in the brain is true leadership. It is for a person to be both happy and successful. Therefore, we will see these opportunities and threats. What obstacles related to me are there in the threats? How might this decision complicate my work in the future? These are what threaten me. We will analyze those threats. Does the decision regarding this situation pose a significant risk for me? Here, the situation of threats and entering into calculable risks emerges. For example, you are going to invest, you are managing money. If you do a risk analysis here, you won't be sad when you lose. In other words, calculable risks are taken with risk analysis. Learning to take these risks is important in this respect. We can say that Psycho-SWOT analysis gives us an idea about knowing ourselves and strengthening ourselves.” he stated.
“Lack of empathy is most common in arrogant, conceited, and high-ego individuals”
Tarhan, drawing attention to empathy and its importance in his speech, stated that the lack of empathy is most common in arrogant, conceited, and high-ego individuals. Tarhan said: “The most important characteristic of individuals with mental flexibility is that they are active listeners. They listen to the event, perform root cause analysis. These people use the 'Stop, Think, Act' paradigm. They act afterwards. Those who do the first thing that comes to mind without thinking and believe the last thing they hear always continue to make mistakes. In other words, a person who does the first thing that comes to mind, believes the last thing they hear, and says the first thing that comes to mind, needs to accept hearing everything. That is, 'I say what comes from within me. I am not careful, but you cannot say he should be careful.' Empathy can look at the situation well in such cases. If you filled a room with all evils and put all wrong behaviors at its door, the door would be opened by a lack of empathy. Lack of empathy is something that most often occurs in arrogant, conceited, high-ego individuals. Empathy can be learned later. It is not innate. But the ability to learn empathy is innate. A person with empathy will differentiate by saying 'my emotion is sadness, his emotion is this,' and accordingly say, 'this is my emotion. This is my thought. This is my action, my behavior.' ” he stated.
“Those who learn to manage their emotions can remain calm under stress”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, speaking about remaining calm under stress as a tremendous skill, underlined the need for mental investment. Tarhan said: “To manage emotions, reason and thought are needed. After that, action and behavior emerge. Our first reaction to an event is usually emotion. Then, we will analyze what it is, with thought. Emotion, thought, and finally, behavior. When we use this four-part paradigm, what do we do? We can perform empathy analysis, achieve emotional flexibility, and reach emotional resilience. This is easy to say, not easy to do. For this, one must learn to manage emotions just as one learns to drive a car, use a phone, or ride a bicycle. Someone who learns to manage emotions can remain calm under stress. Remaining calm under stress is a tremendous skill. Mental investment is needed here. A person with mental flexibility will be able to manage this. Most importantly, in the face of an event, we usually need to have a positive emotional state at the beginning of our life philosophy. We will see the negative aspects of events, but we will live towards the positive aspects and prepare ourselves for winter. But we will live expecting summer. We will have such a perspective on life.”
“Let's not fear stress and trauma”
Tarhan, pointing out that the formula for resolving sadness is not very difficult, said: “Let's say a person is sad, something happened. When we are sad, we look to see if there is a remedy. If there is a remedy, you do it, it's not worth being sad. If there is no remedy, since it won't change even if you are sad, you continue to be sad. Actually, the formula for resolving sadness is not difficult at all. If there is a remedy, you look, don't be sad. If there isn't, you accept it because it won't change even if you are sad. Again, it's not worth being sad. This is a pattern we use in treatment. Therefore, let's not fear sadness. Let's not fear managing or not managing them. Let's not fear stress, trauma. Let's manage them, let's develop ourselves.”
“Happiness dependent on internal causes always brings joy…”
Answering questions from the participants, Tarhan stated that people who seek happiness dependent on internal causes will always be happier than those who seek happiness dependent on external causes. Tarhan said: “What a person understands by their comfort zone is important. If all desires are met, all needs are satisfied, and everything they say happens, such an understanding of comfort is not realistic. It’s a very narrow comfort zone. The comfort zone is a safe zone. Is a person's home their safe zone? Is their workplace their safe zone? Do they feel like they're going to war when they come to work? Do they see life like a football match? A person can even make their punishment a comfort zone if they wish. Mevlana has a beautiful story about this. I also processed this in my book 'Mesnevi Therapy'. There, a wise man goes to a mental hospital. He sees a patient, with hands and arms tied, singing a wonderfully joyful song in the mental hospital. He asks, 'Your hands and arms are tied, you're in a mental hospital, but you are very cheerful. How is this possible?' The patient's answer there is striking; 'My hands and arms are tied, but my spirit is not tied, my heart is not tied,' he says... The lesson to be drawn from this is that no matter what conditions a person is in, the control of their spirit, the control of their emotions, and the control of their mind are within themselves. If you want happiness dependent on an external cause, you cannot be happy. If you want happiness dependent on an internal cause, you will always be happy. What is happiness dependent on an internal cause? You will appreciate the things you have. Instead of changing the world, you will change yourself, and in such situations, you will ask, 'What is my duty today towards my goal? What can I do?' And here, being able to manage oneself and one's emotions is very important. If this is the case, then everywhere is a comfort zone for that person. That is, even at the bottom of a well, they are comfortable.” he stated.
It's possible to overcome social phobia with humor!
Tarhan, also addressing the issue of social phobia and asociality, pointed out that people can overcome their social phobias when they learn to use humor. Tarhan said: “Being asocial is a choice. They enjoy solitude. They are alone and quite happy. They have no complaints. They do their work but are unsocial people. If they had a funeral, you would struggle to find four people to go. These are asocial people. Then there are socially phobic people. Socially phobic people enter into social avoidance despite not wanting to. They have avoidance behavior. They avoid crowds. Their face blushes and hands tremble when talking to someone. When they enter a crowd, they feel like everyone is looking at them. They tend to see more negativity and have low self-confidence. In every situation, they fear criticism in social environments. They feel like they will be inadequate. Their lives are truly managed by fears. These people do not like to take risks. But if a socially phobic person is in a familiar environment, they go through with it; they are usually individuals with a high sense of responsibility. They get promoted. When they rise, their social phobias increase, and they refuse. They say, 'I can't do it, I'm not capable.' These are important characteristics of socially phobic people. If social phobia is not at a certain point, if it is mild, the person can manage it themselves. In such a situation, we apply the exposure method. They will confront the issues they fear. Humor is a very important stress management technique. We even call humor ‘M vitamini’. Vitamin M, humor. If they learn to use humor, they will overcome their social phobia. They make everyone laugh, everyone's expressions change, the atmosphere relaxes, and they conquer their fears.”
“Shock experiences change learned helplessness”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, drawing attention to the Self-Perceived Wisdom Scale, stated that emotion management is important. Tarhan said: “Shock experiences, dramatic experiences change learned helplessness. For this reason, the events we experience in life actually change our wrong habits, our learned helplessness, and our prejudices. We apply a post-traumatic growth scale to these. When we apply it, these people emerge stronger after the event, saying things like 'my perspective on events has changed, I have improved my relationships with people, I know myself better, I have become more aware of my family and loved ones.' We experienced this during the pandemic and the earthquake. All these events caused us pain, but then we saw that these events changed some of our wrong habits and wrong ways. Mevlana has a very beautiful example regarding this. 'When a sheep separates from a flock, the shepherd throws stones at that sheep. The reason for throwing stones is not to hurt the sheep. He does it so that wolves do not catch it because it has separated from the flock. The troubles and calamities that come to us in destiny are like thrown stones. They are not calamities, but warnings. They are divine warnings. Perhaps the events and calamities that come before us in life are the Creator speaking to us in the language of events to correct our direction from where we are sitting. We will be able to use our minds and read the events. This is called emotion management. This is managing our emotions. We developed a scale for this, and we published it. We conducted validity and reliability studies.” he said.