Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that a family where biological and psychological needs are met, and love, respect, and trust are built, is the 'last sanctuary', said, “Especially childhood, the 0-6 age period, is a critical time when the seeds of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, are sown.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also explained that the fundamental pillars of goodness in a family are love, respect, loyalty, and patience, as well as empathetic and fair communication, and said, “Instilling the habit of doing good in children, teaching them conscience development, consistent discipline, and the concepts of true freedom, is vital for them to grow into healthy individuals. Modernism sowed rain and reaps storms; goodness will extinguish the fire in the family.”
Üsküdar University Founding Rector and Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, on the occasion of November 13 World Kindness Day, discussed the state of the family institution and the psychological foundations of the concept of "goodness" in the face of the deep civilization crisis brought about by the modern age.
Deep Civilization Crisis and the Family
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, evaluating the family's approach to the brink of dissolution, the increase in child mental health problems, and the rise of anti-marriage movements in today's Western world as concrete indicators of a deep civilization crisis, stated that the radical changes in modern life philosophy rapidly erode ancient values related to the family, and this crisis is further intensified by global psychological warfare.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that the shifts in meaning brought about by fast-paced living and modernism, and the radical changes in life philosophy, rapidly erode ancient values related to the family, and said, “When the social 'walls and castles' around the family collapsed, family members were forced to protect their homes from external influences. As a result of cultural psychological warfare, every family began to become a victim of this struggle within itself; popular culture and popular role models permeated even the most intimate areas of individuals. As a result of this infiltration, problems such as drug use, violent incidents, divorces, and suicides have spread epidemically.”
The Concept of Goodness Must Be Redefined!
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that Western values such as materialism, selfishness, and comfort-seeking corrupt social morality and spread a lack of empathy and narcissistic value judgments, emphasized that in the face of this grave situation, redefining the concept of "goodness" and strengthening it with scientific foundations is an unavoidable necessity.
Biological Evidence of Goodness
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, blending the science of psychiatry with cultural values, noted that goodness is not only a spiritual virtue but also a biological potential inherent in human nature.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that doing good positively affects not only the recipient of help but also the psychology of the helper, and said, “Goodness is a potential inherent in human nature and has a biological basis. According to the concept known in psychology as the ‘principle of reciprocity,’ what a person does returns to them; those who do good find good, and those who listen to others receive understanding. Doing good, as is known, is not merely providing material help; showing a smiling face to people, giving a flower, smiling, saying a kind word – all these behaviors are acts of goodness.”
‘Evil’ According to the Law of Entropy is the Absence of ‘Goodness’…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that the brain's working mechanisms show physical evidence of morality and emotions, and continued:
“Especially the development of the frontal brain (frontal cortex) plays a critical role in functions such as attention, planning, empathy, and common sense. In this context, the role of emotional intelligence (EQ) in marital and life success becomes more important than logical intelligence (IQ). While logical intelligence (IQ) strengthens academic success, emotional intelligence (EQ) is seen to improve life successes, marriages, and friendships. Individuals with emotional intelligence are optimistic people who can read their own emotions as well as the emotions of others, act independently, and succeed in compromise. Evil, according to the Law of Entropy, is the absence of goodness. For a person to know themselves, to be aware of the positive and negative tendencies within them, is critically important for turning towards goodness and protecting themselves from evil.”
The Seeds of Goodness and Evil Are Sown Between Ages 0-6
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that a family where biological and psychological needs are met, and love, respect, and trust are built, is the "last sanctuary," and said, “Especially childhood, the 0-6 age period, is a critical time when the seeds of goodness and evil, beauty and ugliness, are sown. During this period, a child accepts what is rewarded by their environment as right and what is punished as wrong. Parents being firm, continuous, and consistent with their children regarding bad and good, just as snow adheres when it falls slowly and continuously, is effective in the child's development of a healthy personality.”
Children Should Be Taught the Habit of Doing Good
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, also explaining that the fundamental pillars of goodness in a family are love, respect, loyalty, and patience, as well as empathetic and fair communication, said the following:
“Empathy is understanding another's pain and approaching them with compassion. In a family environment without empathy, problems do not become easier. While empathy and compassion require the sacrifice of understanding another's pain and helping them, justice and a balanced approach are essential in both family relationships and child education. Taking responsibility, self-criticism, having realistic expectations, contentment, and the understanding of viewing marriage as a ‘team game’ strengthen the state of goodness in the family. Goodness is not just a moral choice, but also a brain-based process that forms the foundation of individual and societal psychological health. Instilling the habit of doing good in children, teaching them conscience development, consistent discipline, and the concepts of true freedom, is vital for them to grow into healthy individuals. Modernism sowed rain and reaps storms; goodness will extinguish the fire in the family.”
Goodness in the Family Must Be an Active Process
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that materialism, consumerism, and technology addiction brought by our age threaten the state of goodness in the family, noted that tying happiness to external elements is an illusion, that true happiness is related to one's inner world, and that the way to escape these traps is through contentment and outcome awareness.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that the family is the last sanctuary that needs to be redefined and strengthened in the face of the modern world's challenges, concluded his words by saying, “Goodness in the family is not a passive but an active process requiring continuous investment, learning, conscious effort, and a dynamic balance. This state of goodness, in addition to ensuring the happiness of individuals, forms the foundation of a healthy, peaceful, and hopeful future, and the 'goodness in the family' approach offers an important roadmap for healing the wounds of our age.”