Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founder Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, attended the event organized by the R&D Unit of the Kahramanmaraş Provincial Directorate of National Education as a speaker. Addressing family communication during the pandemic, Tarhan answered questions that many families were curious about.
“What a cell is to the body, a family is to society”
Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of family in the online program, stated, “What a cell is to the body, a family is to society. If there is serious disintegration in the family, which is the building block of society, that society faces very serious risks in the medium term. The divorce rate in families within the first five years is 39%; we are currently approaching the world average. The divorce rate is now six times higher than the marriage rate, which is a serious signal in 2019 statistics. It will worsen in five to ten years and affect our education system, leading to more unhappy children.”
“Family is the greatest refuge”
Tarhan, stating that unfortunately there is a capitalist doctrine in our education system, emphasized that a child being intelligent and hardworking does not mean they will be a good person. Giving the example of a child who was successful in school and work life but produced synthetic marijuana due to a desire to win, Tarhan underlined that success is not only about intelligence, and that goodness plays a very significant role in success. Tarhan stated that it is necessary to provide value-based education, and if we can do this, we can regain our Anatolian wisdom. He also mentioned that families are supporting actors after teachers and must create a peaceful environment at home, as children raised in a home without peace cannot focus on their studies. Emphasizing that the family is a shelter, Tarhan underlined that for children to grow up as good people, the family environment must be warm, healthy, and sharing.
“Social norms protecting the family are not what they used to be”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that there are social norms protecting the family, such as neighborhood relations and kinship ties, which are social norms for the family. However, he explained that the new generation is currently growing up alone and does not receive support from neighbors or siblings when needed. Tarhan stated that in these days of increasing loneliness, we must protect the 'inside of the castle,' emphasizing that keeping the family safe is very important and there should be no conflicts within. Tarhan, mentioning that detailed discussions are necessary before marriage to avoid conflicts within the family and to enable role-sharing, emphasized that children take the family as a role model, and therefore caution is needed.
“Sign a contract with your children”
Tarhan stated that when children are under ten years old, they adapt to the existing discipline within the family. He mentioned that if a plan is made for children, valid hours for play or necessary time slots for homework are set, and a contract is signed with the child, a disciplined environment can be created this way. Tarhan stated that if hatred towards the mother and father arises in a child, hatred towards life arises. He said, “In such situations, let's not think there is a war; let's talk by taking our child aside. We are currently in an age of ego; even children have egos. Currently, young people defend their rights very well; this is a global influence. If guided well, it can lead to good places; this is not a bad thing, it just needs to be disciplined.”