The 5th 'Psychology Talks with Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan' event, organized by Üsküdar University Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Psychology Department, Psychology Club, and Positive Psychology Club, was held. At the event, which drew significant interest from participants, Tarhan made striking evaluations on narcissism, self-balance, empathy, hope, and the role of social sciences, stating that a lack of empathy underlies narcissistic personality. He stated that a person matures as they direct their love from themselves to their surroundings. Emphasizing that the collaborative work of reason and emotion provides balance in decision-making processes, Tarhan drew attention to Generation Z's search for meaning. He explained that empathy is the key to individual and social healing, and highlighted the importance of the concepts of hope and balance.
The event, held at Üsküdar University South Campus Fuat Sezgin Conference Hall, was attended by Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, Dean of the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Prof. Dr. Deniz Ülke Kaynak, as well as faculty academics and students.
“We all have a degree of narcissism”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, addressing narcissistic personality investment, stated: “There is narcissistic personality and there is narcissistic personality disorder. In fact, a narcissistic core exists within all of us. So, the person who says 'I am not a narcissist' is mistaken, because we all have a degree of narcissism. The most narcissistic being is a child. As Freud stated, there is a condition in children called primary narcissism. A child is narcissistic by birth. They imagine themselves at the center of the world and think everything revolves around them, because they invest all their love in themselves. Narcissism is actually about where you invest your love. A person who invests their love in themselves becomes a narcissist and sees themselves at the center of the world. Initially, a child directs their love towards themselves. However, as they grow, they realize that they have a mother, a father, and other people around them. Then, they direct their love investment first to their mother, then to their father, siblings, and toys. Over time, they expand it to friends, their country, humanity, existence, and even creation. In short, a person learns to distribute their love in different directions according to their level of development,” he began.
Narcissistic personality is like a leadership disease…
Tarhan stated that a leader can make mistakes when they become closed to criticism; “The most prominent characteristic of narcissistic individuals is a lack of empathy. Indeed, if you look at all books written on evil, a lack of empathy is always mentioned as the root. People with narcissistic personality traits cannot empathize; they only focus on their own interests. Their thoughts, calculations, and interests are always centered on their own benefits. These individuals thrive on praise. When not praised, they feel uncomfortable, like a fish out of water. When they receive praise, they feel as if they have won you over, taken control of you. However, when you say 'no' to them with a valid reason, they then put in great effort to prove themselves. Narcissistic personality is often like a leadership disease. This situation is frequently seen not only in political leaders but also in the business world. If a leader becomes closed to criticism, it means they are starting to make mistakes. The most common thing I see in such people is that they live success-oriented lives. Presenting themselves as intelligent and capable is a great source of pleasure for them. Their entire purpose is to convey this image to their surroundings. When someone criticizes them, they perceive it as hostility. Sometimes, they even see not being praised as a threat. They go so far as to categorize someone who doesn't praise them directly as an enemy,” he stated.
The rational actor is not just reason; emotions are also active in decision-making processes…
Tarhan, stating that emotions are active in the decision-making process; “We all have narcissistic conditioning. This is very closely related to fast thinking. Kahneman has a book called 'Thinking, Fast and Slow'. Although he was a psychologist, he received the Nobel Prize in behavioral economics in the 2000s because he investigated psychological factors in human purchasing behavior. Classical economics defines humans as homo economicus. That is, humans are rational beings. It is said that they calculate profit and loss, think rationally, and make decisions accordingly. However, Kahneman says, ‘Humans are not homo economicus, but homo psychologicus.’ That is, humans are not just economic, but psychological beings. The rational actor is not just reason; emotions are also active in decision-making processes. Today, we know that people who cannot manage their emotions also cannot manage their minds. Therefore, the collaborative work of reason and emotion is very important. If you teach emotion regulation to a person, they can also manage their thoughts in a healthier way. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), not only thought-focused but also emotion-focused approaches are now used. Because the brain first thinks, and if an emotion is added to that thought, it turns into a belief. When this belief is repeated, it becomes a habit in approximately six weeks, and a personality in six months,” he stated.
“Someone with meaning and purpose doesn’t easily make mistakes”
Tarhan, emphasizing that Generation Z should be seen as an opportunity rather than a threat; “Generational conflict has always existed from past to present. It's in Egyptian papyri, and in Babylonian tablets. Even Socrates complained about generational conflict. So, this will always be, it's a phenomenon that has persisted throughout human history. In this era, the half-life of information has shortened significantly, and because knowledge changes rapidly, the differences between Generation Z and other generations have become more pronounced. From the outside, they might appear egocentric and conformist, but their sense of innocence and expectations for justice are very high. I see Generation Z not as a threat but as an opportunity. As is natural for their age, Generation Z feels like they will save the world; this is normal. Then, as they mature, they will say, 'There were others too.' Some, at 40, will say, 'My father was right.' If we observe wrong behaviors from Generation Z, it's usually not their fault but rather the lack of role models in their environment and family. Currently, my greatest concern is Generation Z's feeling of meaninglessness and aimlessness. Because someone with meaning and purpose doesn't easily make mistakes. If we give Generation Z an ego ideal for which they will strive and endure hardship, a meaningful goal, they will not be a lost generation. On the contrary, they will become individuals who contribute to society and take responsibility,” he said.
“Empathy is the key to individual and social healing”
Tarhan, stating that meaning happiness should be taught to the brain; “The global culture we currently live in, meaning popular culture, has become a dopamine-focused culture. Dopamine is the pleasure hormone. It is short-lived, purchasable, and temporary. Serotonin, on the other hand, is a meaning-oriented neurochemical system; it develops slowly but provides long-lasting and permanent pleasure. In other words, the brain's meaning network matures with serotonin. When we become a dopamine society, we start living life through short-term pleasures. This is not actually new. Aristotle said 2,500 years ago, ‘There are two kinds of happiness.’ One is pleasure happiness, or hedonic happiness, and the other is meaning happiness, or eudaimonic happiness. Today, its neurobiological equivalent has also been found. Pleasure happiness releases dopamine, while meaning happiness increases serotonin. A smart person is one who teaches their brain meaning happiness. Because a brain that lives with meaning and purpose produces long-term happiness. A person who operates their brain with meaning and purpose learns to be happy. A dopamine-focused person immediately collapses and goes into depression when they lose something. Therefore, we need to establish our ego ideal as meaning-oriented. That is, if we want to be a good psychologist or a good physician, we must first be a good person. Because the foundation of being a good person is empathy. Empathy is being able to consider the rights and needs of others. A person who can achieve this both treats their own narcissism and establishes a genuine emotional connection with the other person. Empathy, in this sense, is a magical concept. It is the key to both individual and social healing,” he stated.
Inter-self balance is very important…
Tarhan, emphasizing that a person should have an ideal 'Self'; “Every person has a self-level. This is related to how the person perceives themselves. If a person's self-level and self-perception are close, that person is at peace with themselves; but if the self-level is below the self-perception, the person feels inadequate. This leads to a depressive state of mind. If the self-level is above the self-perception, the person sees themselves as more than they are, which is a narcissistic picture. Also, there is the self a person is, and the self they want to be. If a person cannot distinguish between these two, meaning they confuse their real self with their ideal self, then personality problems arise. Therefore, the balance between a person's self-perception, self-level, and ideal self is very important. Every person should have an ideal self, but that ideal should be seen not as an unattainable goal, but as a guiding compass. Individual psychology examines these issues in depth. In therapy, providing this awareness to the person, enabling them to look at themselves from the outside, is very valuable. When a person starts evaluating themselves with this perspective, they experience a great internal awareness,” he stated.
“Hope is the most indispensable human emotion”
Tarhan, explaining the importance of working on hope and balance in therapy; “The two main pillars of positive psychotherapy are hope and balance. If you cannot give a person hope, you cannot do therapy. Viktor Frankl also says in his book 'Man's Search for Meaning'. When you add meaning to suffering, suffering becomes manageable. Even the way to manage war is through adding meaning to it. Because we cannot manage something to which we have not added meaning. You see this very clearly when working with a hopeless person. For example, if someone says, 'I won't get better,' this thought affects the brain. This is also the essence of the placebo effect. When a person says, 'I'm dizzy,' 40 percent of the brain perceives this belief as real, and the person genuinely starts to sway. We call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if a person believes something wrong, the brain creates the infrastructure for that wrong belief to come true. Therefore, the first step in therapy is to give the person realistic hope. Hope is the most indispensable human emotion. Because the moment hope ends, everything ends,” he said.
“Social sciences need to be solution-oriented”
Tarhan, underlining that social sciences need to change their approaches; “What social sciences have done most until now is a classical approach. They say, 'I produce knowledge, I don't interfere with the rest.' However, social sciences need to be solution-oriented. What benefit does the knowledge produced have for society and people? Research conducted without asking this question remains incomplete. It's not enough just to identify the problem; solutions must also be produced for it. If social sciences work in a solution-oriented way, they become a field that motivates, guides, and provides different perspectives to society. Unfortunately, most social science projects today focus only on the problem. Research is conducted on earthquakes, loneliness, or other social issues, surveys are prepared, data is collected, but no solution proposals are added. However, when we add a solution perspective, social science can generate alternative viewpoints and options. That's when social science becomes a guide leading society,” he concluded.
The program, which was met with great interest by the participants, concluded with a group photo session.