Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, drawing attention to the global increase in toxic people, said, “These are greedy and insatiable individuals. They always say ‘me, me,’ they only think of their own interests, they never care about the rights and laws of others, and they try to see themselves as the center of the world.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan: “For example, nepotistic people are toxic people. Because they cannot ensure justice.”
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the topic of toxic people.
Where did the word ‘toxic’ come from?
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that the word ‘toxic’, meaning poisonous, was chosen by Oxford as the word of the year in 2018, said, “There was a need to conceptualize the word toxic. Especially in business management, business relationships, and human relationships, toxic people seriously reduce work efficiency. They increase dismissals, disrupt order in political life, and disrupt order in families. There seems to be a global increase in toxic people, and a need arose to define this. Later, it entered the literature as toxic relationships and toxic leadership.”
Tarhan: “People with a toxic character consider what they do as normal”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan explained that these individuals in toxic relationships are those who only work for their own benefit, lie, break rules, are malicious, immediately approach events with the worst intentions, spread gossip, look for faults in colleagues, and display bullying behavior. He stated that these employees do this sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously, as a requirement of their character.
Who are toxic?
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, also stating that people with a toxic character consider what they do as normal, explained:
“This is the most dangerous part. They are like mixers; they stir up every place they enter, there is no peace where they are, and it is an area that is heavily studied on how to deal with such people. When we research psychiatrically, these people, especially paranoid individuals, fall into this category, suspicious and skeptical individuals.
Tarhan: “They are fickle individuals, they change direction based on self-interest”
For example, a person can be obsessive, but if they are an arrogant obsessive, or paranoid but an arrogant paranoid, this becomes more pronounced. Because they cannot self-criticize, they cannot develop themselves. Or there are theatrical personalities. They do everything theatrically, meaning they are fickle individuals, they change direction based on self-interest. Another personality trait is narcissistic personality traits, and all of these are considered toxic personality traits.”
Tarhan: “They always say ‘me, me,’ they only think of their own interests, they never care about the rights and laws of others”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that such people do not easily trust others in their relationships and initially see everyone as bad, only starting to say 'oh, they're good' when they experience good behavior from them. “That is, suspicion is the rule, trust is the exception for these people. They also belittle others, smile condescendingly. Sometimes they also block work with passive-aggressive behaviors. For example, they take a task, say ‘Yes sir, I’m doing it’ and then don't do it; that's called passive-aggressive. For example, if they have power, they use that power to punish, they immediately wag their finger, they crush and pass over others. In other words, they are people who have made bullying a method. They constantly think about their own domains, they think about expanding their own domains. They always say ‘me, me,’ they only think of their own interests, they never care about the rights and laws of others, and they try to see themselves as the center of the world,” he explained.
Toxic people increased
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that toxic people have increased because the world is an ‘electronic village’ and the speed of spreading evil is 6 times faster than good. He said, “The reaction to evil, to negative and adverse information, is 6 times faster than the reaction to positive information.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan noted that evil has also globalized and that the definition of post-traumatic stress disorder was changed in 2001 after the Twin Towers bombing, because with the globalization of communication, PTSD was observed even in those who did not experience the event directly.
‘Bad World Syndrome’…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that the definition ‘Bad World Syndrome’ has been introduced, saying, “Some people feel like the future of the world is not safe, some withdraw into themselves, some become aggressive, some become passive, and thus personality emerges. In other words, humanity has gained a lot compared to the past. The level of material prosperity has increased, but the level of psychological well-being is not in parallel. People have also turned to finding solutions.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also said that it is necessary to learn how to deal with toxic people, and how to deal with someone who is consciously toxic in the family.
‘Crab Bucket Syndrome’…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also drew attention to ‘Crab Bucket Syndrome’, saying, “If there is only one crab, it tries to get out of the bucket and succeeds. But if there are five or ten crabs in the bucket instead of one, and one of them tries to get out, the other crabs in the bucket try to pull it down. This is explained by the group feeling there. It says ‘don’t leave the group,’ it says ‘there’s danger.’ They are all in danger. There’s such a thing, for example.”
Tarhan: “Nepotistic people are toxic people”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan reminded that the definition of Nepotism in English comes from the word ‘nephew’, saying, “Meaning, favoring one’s nephew, favoring one’s relative. In our language, too, we say ‘my nephew, my nephew’ for relatives, so it’s a word used for a male nephew… Nepotism, that is, favoritism. For example, nepotistic people are toxic people. Because they cannot ensure justice.”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also stated that whether the sense of justice is genetic is being researched, and that the existence of meta-genes in humans is being investigated, asking, “Is there a genetic code related to this? Is there a software? What is in the human brain?”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also noted that emotional neglect in the family is a childhood trauma, stating, “Therefore, justice in emotion is also important.”
Tarhan: “Burnout syndrome doesn’t happen due to too much work. It happens from not being able to work peacefully”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also stated that if there is a lot of ‘Burnout Syndrome’ in a workplace, there must be toxic leaders or toxic personalities there. He said, “Burnout syndrome doesn’t happen due to too much work. It happens from not being able to work peacefully. Most of all, it negatively affects corporate loyalty, organizational loyalty. In studies asking ‘What most affects a person’s corporate loyalty?’, the answers were ‘Firstly, loving the workplace, secondly, feeling secure about their future, and thirdly, the direction they receive.’ Connecting with the institution, coming to the institution with pleasure is much more important. Injustice spoils coming to work with pleasure.”
“To prevent toxic people, it is necessary to create a fair environment,” said Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that excessive competition negatively affects success, and overly toxic people cause non-peaceful competition.
Tarhan: “Toxic people are closed to criticism”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan also stated that toxic personalities have dark sides, saying, “Where there is no open communication, dark sides remain hidden, and trust weakens. When trust weakens, fear increases. Therefore, this is the case in individuals who appear violent in competitiveness, and in chauvinism. That is, those who see their own culture or race as superior, or sexism, male sexism, female sexism, rigid sense of identity, rigid role sharing, those who see themselves as flawless are toxic people. They are closed to criticism.”
“If there is an open, transparent, accountable environment, toxic people cannot thrive there”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan explained that if there is an open, transparent, and accountable environment, toxic people cannot thrive there, saying, “The solution to this is to create an open, transparent, and accountable family environment, workplace environment, and societal environment. What is the best method to fight darkness? To light a light, to light a candle.”
“When you form a relationship with a toxic person, if you don’t set boundaries, thinking ‘let’s not have problems,’ they will violate boundaries,” said Prof. Dr. Tarhan, noting that one can tell these people, “Look, you are a good person, but I don’t approve of this action,” in the most difficult, heaviest words but in the most polite way, and the person who succeeds in this will draw the toxic person’s boundary.
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that results can be achieved by telling people who shout and intimidate, and have made this a method, “Could you speak a little slower? I want to understand you.” He added, “I mean, if your spouse throws a plate at you at home, and you throw one back, it’s over. In that situation, it’s not about telling the toxic person, ‘You are a good person, but I don’t approve of this behavior.’ This time, we are working on the skill of saying no to them.”