Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan attended the commemoration program for Bediüzzaman Said Nursi on the 64th anniversary of his passing. Tarhan made striking remarks at the commemoration program organized by the Nur Science and Education Foundation and the Risale-i Nur Research Platform (RİNAP) with the main theme of “Values That Make a Human.” Tarhan stated that Bediüzzaman Hazretleri had recognized humanity's future needs, expectations, and trends, and developed solutions to address those needs. Emphasizing that Bediüzzaman paid attention to communication values while doing all this, Tarhan added that communication begins with the self first. Tarhan noted that even someone with such extensive knowledge like Bediüzzaman began his works with 'O My Self!'.
Prof. Dr. Kasım Yenigün moderated the program, which Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan attended online, under the title “The Facilitating Effect of Healthy Communication on Human Values.”
“Bediüzzaman Hazretleri always aimed for Divine Consent in his communication with the Creator”
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that Bediüzzaman Hazretleri always aimed for Divine Consent (Rıza-yı İlahi) in his communication with the Creator; “Bediüzzaman’s communication style involves social communication, communication with society, and communication with his close ones. He questions himself, his ego, and opens his heart to God. He communicates with himself. He never forgets his goal; for example, when looking at social communications, he categorizes people into three main groups: believers, his students, and Muslims... He considers all three groups as one family and discusses some issues within the family's privacy. He does not confuse his goals, friends, or enemies. A person has communication with themselves, their family, their professional life, their environment, and also with the Creator. Bediüzzaman Hazretleri always aimed for Divine Consent in his communication with the Creator and never forgot it. He never treated any cause in his life as an ego ideal, nor did he confuse his friends with his enemies. Bediüzzaman Hazretleri applies such a method.”
“Narcissism is the epidemic form of egoism”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that narcissism has become a global epidemic; “According to Bediüzzaman, there are three critical variables in this era. The first is secularism, or the disease of worldliness. When secularism is mentioned, some understand it in a political sense. Laicism is a form of governance, whereas secularism is a way of life; these should not be confused. This intuitive feeling, with high emotions, becomes dominant over reason and thought. In other words, worldliness comes from within a person. The second variable is narcissism, which is the epidemic form of egoism. Currently, narcissism has become an epidemic, especially among young people. Even when you approach an adolescent, or even younger children, with ‘Do this like that,’ they defiantly do the opposite. In ego battles between spouses, they try to dominate and control each other with ‘my way’ versus ‘your way.’ The most significant cause of marital problems, family problems, and social problems is egocentrism. This is naturally accepted as self-confidence, self-admiration. In fact, self-confidence is a good thing, but self-admiration is narcissism. Being fascinated with oneself is self-love. This is spreading as a global epidemic. The third is materialism; as you know, threats used to come from ignorance, but now threats come from spiritual life, from science. Things that threatened social and spiritual life used to come from lack of knowledge. They didn't know God, but now they say this in the name of science, they call it evolution. Here, Bediüzzaman Hazretleri offers solutions for all three.”
“Unhappiness, depression, and suicide are crises brought by modernism”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, emphasizing that those who chase pleasure will eventually be left alone; “Modernism has begun to be a crisis of civilization. Because humanity's philosophy of life has changed. The purpose of life, they chose chasing pleasure as an ego ideal because they ignore death and say everything is in this world. A person chasing pleasure, after a while, if his wife or child gets sick, or another problem arises, says, ‘My purpose was to chase pleasure. If I cannot experience pleasure, why should I live?’ and ends the marriage. After a while, they are left alone. Selfishness emerges, they say, ‘me first.’ They even say, ‘Family is not sacred, the individual is sacred.’ In the USA, there are couple therapists who work like divorce therapists. Then loneliness emerges. This loneliness is becoming a global problem. Escaping social responsibility leads to alienation. Unhappiness, depression, and suicide can be described as crises brought by modernism.”
“A person who cannot transcend themselves cannot be satisfied”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that for a person to be satisfied, they must transcend themselves; “There is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. Self-transcendence was added to the top of this pyramid. That is, a person transcending themselves. Only if a person transcends themselves can they truly be human and be satisfied. A person who cannot transcend themselves cannot be satisfied. Transcending oneself requires chasing a meaning, being a part of a meaning, which also creates a therapeutic effect in a person.”
“Humanity is moving from the age of information to the age of wisdom”
Tarhan stated that the works written by Bediüzzaman Hazretleri are guiding in finding answers to the questions of the age of wisdom; “An international group of scientists working in the fields of post-materialist science manifesto, biology, neuroscience, psychology, medicine, and psychiatry gather, hold a congress, and publish a manifesto. They say, ‘Materialism is over; materialism does not explain everything; we have entered the post-materialist era.’ Humanity is moving from the age of information to the age of wisdom. In the age of wisdom, they will find answers to the questions they could not answer. The books written by Bediüzzaman Hazretleri and the Risale-i Nur Collection are currently the most important works capable of answering these questions. Everyone is trying to do something related to these, but there is no other example that can present such a synthesis of religious sciences and natural sciences as he did.”
“Communication begins with the self first”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that for a person to be a leader, they must first be their own leader, calling this neuro-leadership. Tarhan; “Bediüzzaman Hazretleri recognized humanity’s future needs, expectations, and trends. He develops solutions to address those needs. While doing all this, he pays attention to communication values. He says, ‘Communication begins with the self first. Embark on a journey of self-discovery with your self. Know yourself, develop yourself, and then write about yourself as ‘O My Self!’’ Even someone with such knowledge begins his works with ‘O My Self!’ In psychology, we call this neuro-leadership. A person cannot lead as a mother, father, or a company without first being a leader of themselves.”
“Bediüzzaman Hazretleri's insistent opposition to despotism is very meaningful”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, noting that a child grows up introverted in a family dominated by a culture of fear; “Bediüzzaman Hazretleri emphasized despotism greatly in his 'Hutbe-i Şamiye' (Damascus Sermon). He dwelt on the errors of despotism. If there is despotism in a home, a narcissistic father, or a despotic mother, the child grows up introverted. In the past, children became unconfident, introverted, passive, fearful, and an dependent personality emerged. They couldn't be entrepreneurial, couldn't ask questions. Bediüzzaman Hazretleri’s insistent opposition to despotism is very meaningful. Ottoman admiration is misunderstood as admiration for its culture of oppression. In Central Asia, our ancestors used to say, 'Our Khans know'; in the Ottoman Empire, the servants used to say, 'The Sultans know,' as a master-servant relationship. The Republic also says, 'The state-father knows.' Only the actors change; there is no questioning youth. There is 'Don't ask, don't think, obey.' If these exist, there is no development,” he stated.
“Whatever is discussed most in a home, that is the sacred of that family”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, pointing out that the transition period is gradual, said that worldliness and selfishness come to the forefront. Tarhan; “In conflictual communication, everyone finds fault with each other. Even in the most devout family, arguments arise over material possessions. Whatever is discussed most in a home, that is the sacred of that family. Is it mostly money, property, status, or fame that is discussed? Currently, there is 'closet religiosity,' 'closet Muslimhood.' There is a superficial form of Islam, but it is hollow… Such people have increased. This is also a transition period. The transition period is gradual. Worldliness and selfishness are coming to the forefront.”
“If you fill a room with all evils, the door is opened by a lack of empathy”
Tarhan, noting that there is no greater punishment than ignoring a child; “Conflict within the family is not a bad thing. The worst is lack of communication. If there is no communication in a job, a family, or between spouses, then that place is playing for extra time, has given up hope. For example, if a child loses hope with their mother, they withdraw and become depressed, but if the child has not lost hope with the mother, they will anger the mother and father, thinking, ‘I must have enough value to be angered.’ This means, ‘I’m not a nobody in this house; at least I'm worth getting angry at.’ There is no greater punishment than ignoring a child. If you fill a room with all evils, the door is opened by a lack of empathy. Where there is no empathy, there is arrogance. And where there is arrogance, evils begin to spread.”
“In communication, it is certainly necessary to use ‘I’ language instead of ‘you’ language”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan underlined that we must apply a positive communication method; “In communication, it is certainly necessary to use ‘I’ language instead of ‘you’ language. Instead of an interrogative, judgmental language, one should be able to say, ‘If I were in your place, I would do this, I would do that.’ When a person uses ‘I’ language, the other party's defensive instinct is not triggered. You don't touch a person’s ego, you don't step on their nerves. Here, the positive action method of Risale-i Nur is not just a method to be used in politics. There are not many words of that parable, but there is an active part where the example in the desert is narrated, and the rule of looking at the good in everything is explained. He who sees beauty thinks beautifully. He who thinks beautifully enjoys life. You will look at everything from a positive perspective and evaluate it positively. You will see both the negative and the positive, but you will focus on the positive. For this, the most important communication method in communication is the positive action method. Positive communication method, that is, positive communication in the family, positive communication in the workplace, positive communication in social life, adopting a positive attitude instead of correcting the negative in human relationships…”