Üsküdar University Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences Department of Psychology, Psychology Club, and Positive Psychology Club jointly held the second 'Psychology Talks with Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan' event. In the program, which attracted great interest from participants, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that long-term loneliness also brings unhappiness. Tarhan stated that a human ecosystem is the cure for loneliness, emphasizing that living within a good and warm ecosystem can develop human skills in a positive direction.
The second psychology talks took place at Üsküdar University South Campus Fuat Sezgin Conference Hall. Faculty academics and students participated in the event.
'Loneliness Brings Unhappiness in its Wake'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, pointing out that humans are neurobiologically relational beings, stated that loneliness is increasing as a serious epidemic. Tarhan said; 'The World Health Organization presented loneliness as one of the three major dangers expected in the future. The first is global income inequality, the second is climate change, and the third is loneliness. It's not noticed much in Turkey, but there is a very serious epidemic in the world. This loneliness brings unhappiness in its wake because humans are neurobiologically relational beings. Our brain is a relational organ. Our brain is not programmed for loneliness, and when this happens, people become unhappy. Unlike other living beings, humans have an innate need for an attachment object.' he stated.
The Brain's Command Bridge Performs Rational Balancing…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, discussing the differences between male and female brains in overcoming loneliness, said; 'Neurobiologically, our brain is programmed to overcome loneliness. Male and female brains work differently in overcoming loneliness. Especially the male brain works result-oriented when a problem arises. If the result is not good, it retreats to its shelter, preferring loneliness. The female brain, on the other hand, works towards relaxation by sharing in a moment of stress. It's programmed this way. When both sides are stressed, one side's brain is under stress because the frontal lobe often disengages. Hasty, impatient people make more mistakes because higher conscious control in the brain weakens, and impulses take over. Especially individuals dominated by emotions act more impulsively, making them more prone to conflict. The front brain provides the balance between the left and right brain. If a person has developed themselves, the front region of the brain, or the command bridge, can balance where to act emotionally and where to act rationally.' he said.
'There is a Global Increase in Narcissistic Individuals'
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, drawing attention to empathy being a learned skill, noted an increase in individuals lacking empathy. Tarhan said; 'Those with developed empathy are more successful in overcoming loneliness. Individuals lacking empathy are Cluster B personalities. These are narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive, and antisocial personalities. These individuals are doomed to loneliness. Globally, there is also an increase in Cluster B personalities, especially narcissistic ones… Narcissistic personalities cannot empathize; they want the world to revolve around them. These individuals often experience ego battles and power struggles.' he said.
The Most Important Problem in Marriage is the Inability to Understand Emotional Needs…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating that the feeling of attraction in people changes according to one's life philosophy, emphasized the importance of intention. Tarhan said; 'If there is love in a relationship and an intention to embark on a journey together, this relationship works. In our culture, it is called the 'refik' and 'refika' relationship. Refik means male travel companion, and Refika means female travel companion. They see togetherness as companionship. Therefore, the most important problems in marriage are the inability of both parties to understand and read each other's emotional needs and the crises that arise from this.' he stated.
'In Loneliness, a Person Can Be a Majority Alone…'
Tarhan, drawing attention to chosen loneliness, explained this situation with an example from Tolstoy. Tarhan said; 'Tolstoy encounters a hermit. He meets the hermit and says, 'Don't you get tired of living so alone?' The hermit replies, 'No, I am not alone. I have two rabbits, one donkey, two eagles, and one lion,' and begins to explain:
'My two rabbits are my feet, always wanting to run.
My two eagles are my eyes, I constantly try to discipline them.
I have a donkey, I try to teach it to be patient.
I have a lion that wants to attack everyone, that's my brain, and I try to restrain it.'
A person who embarks on a journey of self-development in loneliness can, in a way, become a majority by themselves.' he said.
'A Human Ecosystem is the Cure for Loneliness'
Tarhan, emphasizing that living within a good and warm ecosystem can develop human skills in a positive direction, stated that loneliness increases the risk of Alzheimer's. Tarhan said; 'Loneliness is one of the most important psychosocial problems for people in old age and is one of the causes of Alzheimer's. Because the human brain works neurologically through social contact. Experiments are being done on mice. The eyes of mice are blindfolded as soon as they are born. One group of mice has their eyes opened after one month, the next group after three months, and the other group after six months. Mice whose eyes are opened after one and three months are initially bewildered, then learn to see. Mice whose eyes are opened after six months remain blind. This means if light does not reach the visual stimuli, if our seeing organs remain unstimulated, the person becomes neurologically blind and does not see despite having healthy eyes. The same applies to human skills. For us to be human, we need to live in a human environment. If we do not live in a human environment, within society, in social contact, within a good and warm ecosystem, we can become monstrous or passive. A human ecosystem is the cure for loneliness.' he stated.
'We Cannot Understand Humans Without Understanding the Neurobiological Foundations of Human Psychology'
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, talking about the relationship between the development of mirror neurons in our brain and loneliness, said; 'The emotions of the heart speak in the other person's brain. In the theory of mind, only emotions speak. You try to understand what the other person is thinking, you generate assumptions, you generate concepts. In the theory of theory, you generate a counter-theory against the concept they produce. This is also the general neurobiological function of our brain. These make humans relational beings. In other words, the more we develop the mirror neurons in our brain, the more we escape loneliness. Because we cannot understand humans without understanding the neurobiological foundations of human psychology.' he said.
'Hypnosis Means Entering a Person's Implicit Memory and Taking Over Their Consciousness'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, talking about nocebo and hypnosis effects, said; 'In the nocebo effect, if someone believes 'I am sick, I have this illness', the brain takes a position that the illness exists. It produces brain chemicals and reacts accordingly. If they believe 'my head will spin while standing', they start swaying. We see this in hypnosis as well. They also say, 'Your hand is completely numb now, you are relaxed, you hear nothing, feel nothing, you are completely at ease, in peace, but this part is numb', and the person says their hand is numb. You say, 'I am touching your hand with a hot iron, it will burn, but you will feel no pain, it will burn, but you will feel no pain', you touch their hand, the person does not react at all, then wakes up and sees that it has blistered. That part of the person burns because hypnosis means entering a person's implicit memory and taking over their consciousness; they surrender their higher consciousness to you, they surrender cortical control to you. They cannot surrender this to someone they don't believe or trust. In hypnosis therapy, it blisters here, the brain receives it as a message that it has burned, sends messages to the cells there, the blood vessels expand, and it blisters. This is the Nocebo effect, the body perceiving something that doesn't exist as existing.' he said.
'Trust Should Be the Rule in Life, Fear an Exception'
Tarhan, stating that trust should be fundamental in life, said; 'When there is no trust relationship, there is no resolute, consistent, continuous relationship. A warm relationship does not form in the mother-child relationship; in this case, the child lives with fear, saying life is unsafe. Whereas in life, trust should be the rule and fear an exception. When fear is the rule and trust is the exception, sudden deaths occur because the brain secretes growth hormones, perceiving life as unsafe.' he stated.
'Decisions Need to Be Made with a Synthesis of Emotion and Logic'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that the area psychology is currently most concerned with is decision-making mechanisms, said; 'If people make correct decisions, their lives go in the right direction; if they make wrong decisions, they go in the wrong direction. Making decisions solely with emotions is not enough, nor is making decisions solely with logic; the left and right brains need to decide together. That is, decisions need to be made with a synthesis of emotion and logic. When you make such a decision, it means you are managing the steering well. If you have emotions, it means your engine is also running well. If your steering is good, you can proceed on the path of life without flipping over. Ultimately, if we are managing ourselves, we will first enrich our psychological resources, and strengthen our psychological capital. The larger the social network, the broader a person's social capital becomes. Then the person becomes more socially successful, and overcomes loneliness more effectively.' he said.
At the end of the organized talk, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan signed his book 'Being a Conscious Young Person,' which he wrote for young people, for the students.