Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that strengthening the feeling of gratitude during holidays is very important, said, “The richer your social capital, the more your social power and social influence increase. Therefore, it is necessary to produce these during holidays. Visiting those who did good deeds in the past, giving gifts, winning their hearts, or even just calling them if nothing else, is important. We often see people whose mothers and fathers have passed away saying, 'I wish they were alive, I would go and hug them.' Those whose parents are currently alive should use this opportunity well to avoid saying this later. Parents are a machine of good deeds for children. Gaining their consent and goodwill is a tremendous spiritual capital for a child. They should not miss such a machine of good deeds. Investment is not only in this world; all these are investments beyond death. If you want to make investments beyond death, holidays are an opportunity. A smart person does not make short-term investments, but long-term investments. This is also a long-term investment. Holidays can be called 'periods of spiritual trade'.”
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, explained the most abstract meaning of the sacrifice worship ahead of the upcoming Eid al-Adha. Tarhan, stating that the word 'kurban' (sacrifice) etymologically comes from 'kurbiyet' (proximity), said, “Kurbiyet means to approach. The donation made during Eid al-Adha, that material worship distributed to the poor, neighbors, and those in need, is actually a means to approach Allah. Indeed, the essence of servitude is to draw closer to Allah. It means to establish a connection with the Creator. In other words, to be, so to speak, 'online' with the Creator, to open one's heart to Him. Otherwise, if you say 'sacrifice for righteousness, roast for the pot' while slaughtering the sacrifice, it won't be a true sacrifice. Our intention here is very important. When making a sacrifice, we are fulfilling our duty to Allah. Sacrifice is a means to strengthen our heartfelt bond with Allah, to draw closer to Him. If we act with this thought, we will have given meaning to Eid al-Adha.”
To avoid saying, 'I wish they were alive, I would go and hug them...'
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, emphasizing that sacrifice is about drawing closer to the Creator, said, “You participate in this act with all your emotions. This is the highest meaning of this worship. Visiting those who did good deeds in the past, giving gifts, winning their hearts, or even just calling them if nothing else, is important. We often see many people whose mothers and fathers have passed away saying, 'I wish they were alive, I would go and hug them.' Those whose parents are currently alive should use this opportunity well to avoid saying this later. Parents are a machine of good deeds for children. Gaining their consent and goodwill is a tremendous spiritual capital for a child. They should not miss such a machine of good deeds. Investment is not only in this world; all these are investments beyond death. If you want to make investments beyond death, holidays are an opportunity. A smart person does not make short-term investments, but long-term investments. This is also a long-term investment. Holidays can be called 'periods of spiritual trade'.” He spoke.
“Holidays create a social network”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that extending the holiday period to 9 days is an occasion for vacation, but emphasized the need to distinguish between selfish holidays and those taken without neglecting family, by gaining the goodwill of elders, and visiting them before the holiday. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan continued his words as follows:
“For many people in Anatolia and Istanbul, their hometown is their holiday destination, and they go there. From this perspective, in our society, holiday breaks largely have the effect of strengthening family ties. Because what will make elderly people happiest is not fulfilling their physical needs. Being asked how they are, saying 'It's good that you exist, my mother, it's good that you exist, my father, it's good that you raised us,' and making them feel valued is the greatest gift. They should go and be with them; a loving gaze, a smile, a few kind words, a warm touch are the greatest gifts to them. Therefore, they should not approach it with an 'either I do it completely or I don't do it at all' attitude. Some mothers and fathers also make sarcastic remarks. They say, 'Are you going on holiday again?' Everyone's way of expressing emotions is different. Their words might be one way, but their feelings another. One needs to digest that too. Our responsibility is to show respect to our parents and fulfill our duties towards them. Because holidays are very important ties that keep our society together.”
Tarhan, emphasizing that family ties and close relationships, which are the treasure of Anatolian wisdom, protect society and individuals, stated that this treasure is facing depletion with modernism and digitalization. Tarhan, saying we should not lose this, used the expression, “Let's, on the contrary, evaluate digitalization as an opportunity to meet face-to-face with our parents even if we are far away.”
“Let's postpone shortcomings until after the holiday”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that excessive desires make people unhappy, and spiritual environments like holidays make people feel peaceful and safe, saying, “Holidays show people how temporary life is. During holidays, people reflect when they realize how they've hurt someone's feelings over a simple matter. The heart is such an organ that if its door is broken, one cannot enter. Therefore, if you want to enter a heart, you must find a way to enter it without breaking it. Our heart is such an organ. Everything breaks from delicacy, but humanity breaks from coarseness. During holidays, feelings of love, close relationships, affection, and compassion are intensely experienced. In such situations, mothers and fathers should be generous in love and compassion. Let them postpone shortcomings until after the holiday.” he said.
Holidays are the most beautiful memories of childhood
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the longing for old holidays is expressed in every period, saying, “Holidays are the most beautiful moments of everyone's childhood. In the human brain, experiences from childhood, where there was a warmer home environment and gifts were given, are perceived as old experiences. The 'old holiday' actually represents a longing for that childhood period. Those beautiful memories from childhood are reflected in the social sphere as 'old holidays'. When we say 'old holidays', we cannot claim there is a huge difference between 50 years ago and now. But we can say that this discourse is a social expression of childhood longing. Let's plant beautiful holiday experiences in our child's soul that they will remember with longing in the future and that will yield beautiful fruits in their developing spirit. Let's make our children experience beautiful things so that we create holidays that can provide not just material, monetary, temporary pleasures, but lasting, eternal spiritual joys.” he said.
“The feeling of gratitude should be strengthened”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the most important gain for children is learning patience in the face of difficulties and being taught gratitude by appreciating what they have, saying, “Strengthening the feeling of gratitude during holidays is very important for that child's happiness. In our science of happiness, there is 'Gratitude Training', and we teach this. An assignment is given like this: Remember someone who did you a kindness in the past. Go, buy them a gift. If they ask why you bought it, say, 'You did me this kindness in the past. That's why I felt like getting it for you,' we say. When these examples are explained, wonderful friendships begin in gratitude training. Loneliness is dispelled, and you perform random, selfless acts of kindness. The richer your social capital, the more your social power and social influence increase. Therefore, it is necessary to produce these during holidays.” he said.