Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was a live broadcast guest of TVNET News Center. Tarhan made evaluations regarding the topic of “Banning Social Media for Under 16s.” Stating that he witnessed social media negatively affecting individuals, Tarhan mentioned that children with very high screen exposure experience school refusal. Emphasizing that the negative effects of social media are most observed in families with conflictual communication, Tarhan stated that the risk increases when family ties are weak. Furthermore, Tarhan drew attention to the formation of the perception, 'I appear, therefore I am,' instead of 'I think, therefore I am.'
“Screen exposure leads to school refusal”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, addressing the negative effects of social media, stated; “In our professional practice, we frequently witness social media negatively affecting individuals. In almost half of child psychiatry cases, screen exposure caused by social media is found to be very high. Children with very high screen exposure experience school refusal. They especially become victims and targets. The negative effects of social media are observed in children from families with conflictual communication, weak family ties, and broken homes. These children do not know where to stand or their boundaries on social media. Abstract thinking skills have not developed in children aged 0-6 years. During that period, parents need to teach social boundaries. The age group between 6 and 13 is another group. This group emulates three things. First, the mother; second, the father; and third, the relationship between the mother and father. If relationships at home revolve around social media, children become open to social media,” he began.
If family ties are weak, the risk increases…
Tarhan emphasized the need to teach social norms to children; “Since young people cannot distinguish between good and bad, right and wrong, during adolescence, they ask questions like, 'Who am I, where should I go, why?' While asking these questions, they also need a point of reference. A family needs to be a reference group. In other words, the family needs to be a group that supports each other, serves as a reference, and positively influences each other. As a social sphere, the family has a greater need for this. If the family does not set a good example in this regard, children become the first victims before our eyes, and we are currently losing a generation. This is a very serious situation. Some families do this very well. They protect their children from mistakes on social media but can allow them to use it for a specific purpose. If family ties are weak, the risk increases. Currently, there is another thing social media brings to the forefront. The perception, 'I appear, therefore I am,' has formed instead of 'I think, therefore I am.' There is a modern doctrine that sees visibility as the purpose of life. There is a Hollywood-centric doctrine. The primary ones affected here are adolescents. They cannot learn social norms. Social norms are not genetic; they are learned later. When a child cannot learn this, they can easily make mistakes because they do not know their social boundaries,” he stated.
“We recommend a detox within the family”
Tarhan emphasized that taking measures only on social media platforms will not be enough; “Sometimes children test their parents. If the father immediately takes his phone and retreats to his room when he comes home, and the mother acts the same way, the child behaves similarly. For this, we recommend a detox within the family. That is, we suggest that phones are turned off in the family and common conversation sharing takes place. If these are done, the negative impact on children decreases. The leadership of the state in this regard is very important. This makes the parents' job easier. Because throughout the world, from China to America, many restrictions have been imposed on those under 13-14 years of age. In other words, these restrictions, in addition to social media restrictions, can also include controls through installing special software on smartphones. Both aspects need to be considered. Taking measures only on social media platforms is not enough. Here, families should be able to monitor their children up to a certain age with special software. They should be enabled to act together on this matter by making an agreement with them…” he continued.
“A young person with an ego ideal uses social media purposefully”
Tarhan emphasized the balance between freedom and responsibility; “Currently, young people say, 'I am free, I want to be like this.' You are free, but you are also responsible. There is no irresponsible freedom. It would be nice if there were, but social media is an interesting place. It is very easy, convenient, cheap, and makes people do very unsafe things without leaving the comfort or safety of home. In other words, it's not actually virtual for children. It has a traumatizing effect on a child's life. If parents cannot control themselves, how will a child control themselves? In such situations, we recommend purposeful use. A young person with an ego ideal uses social media purposefully. They can succeed in not falling into the pleasure traps of social media,” he said.
You cannot ban by scaring…
Tarhan emphasized that instead of banning screens for children, one should say no with reasons; “It is necessary to state the ban along with its reasons. 'This might not please you right now. It removes some areas of pleasure, makes things harder, but in the medium to long term, this will bring you many benefits,' one should say. In other words, doing this not as a ban but for a future advantage. Approaching it this way is a more effective method of persuasion. You cannot ban by scaring,” he stated.
Speaking with 'I' language, not 'you' language…
Tarhan emphasized the importance of 'I' language in communication with children; “When parents explain with persuasive language and reasons, even if the child resists at that moment, they will accept it later. The greatest power over children is soft power. The greatest soft power is the justice of love. We must explain love to children, fairly, not with our physical strength but with our soft power. We should not treat them like adults and expect adult behavior. We will grant them the right to make mistakes. Some mistakes are instructive mistakes. Even when forgiving a child's mistake, one should speak with 'I' language, not 'you' language. Instead of approaching with 'you' language, saying, 'What kind of child are you, why did you do this?', when approached in the style of 'If I were in your place, I would have done this,' the other party does not feel bad about themselves and understands that they are accepted and valued. Thus, they are more easily persuaded,” he concluded.
