Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that the social capital in the family can increase with the enrichment of three values, said, 'These three values are love, respect, and trust. These three values and emotions make the family a safe space. An opportunity is needed to increase this. Holidays offer this possibility.' Tarhan, drawing attention to the contribution of holidays to children's development, added that a productive holiday is also good for family ties and that holidays are days to make family life lovable.
Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, made evaluations regarding the importance of holidays and their place in society. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the value of holidays on social life is very universal, stating, 'Not only in our belief system, but in all religions, there are certainly days related to holidays. We have Ramadan Bayram and Kurban Bayram. Holidays are a societal need.' he said.
It is also important to grasp the meaning dimension of the Holiday…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that religious holidays should be addressed not only with their religious dimension but also with their individual and social dimensions, stated that the true meaning of Kurban Bayram is to draw closer to Allah. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said the following:
'Religious holidays certainly have a dimension of worship. For a person to perform religious rituals and religious practices, they must know their meaning. The true meaning of Kurban Bayram is to draw closer to Allah. The origin of Kurban Bayram is when Prophet Abraham, after repeatedly dreaming of sacrificing his son Prophet Ishmael to Allah, understood that this was a command from Allah. He wished to show his submission to Allah for helping him overcome the difficulties he faced and decided to sacrifice his son Ishmael. Both of them passed this test of submission, and in return, a sacrifice was sent through Gabriel. In fact, the purpose here is to enable one to take a step towards drawing even closer. Kurban (sacrifice) means to approach. If we do not consider the meaning, we would only see Kurban Bayram as an animal slaughter festival. Therefore, it is important to grasp the meaning dimension of the holiday. Giving thanks is also recommended in Western culture.'
Holidays develop empathy
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that holidays should be given the right meaning, said that holidays also contribute to the development of skills such as sharing and empathy. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, 'We must live without forgetting the meaning of Kurban Bayram. The holiday has a spiritual dimension as much as it has a worship dimension lived for religious reasons. It is not Allah who needs the sacrifice, but us. Sharing the sacrifice with those in need, for someone who has the power to give, develops empathy related to awareness. It enables wealthy people to become aware of non-wealthy people. In this respect, holidays have a dimension that can contribute to the development of empathy skills in people.' he said.
Holidays teach relationship management
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that another aspect of the holiday is establishing cooperation with other people, said, 'Chatting, sharing, and establishing relationships with our family and loved ones are made possible. Holidays are the area where we learn relationship management.' he said.
Selfishness is one of the most important diseases of the era…
Emphasizing that humanity is very prone to being self-centered in the current era, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, 'The disease of selfishness is one of the most important diseases. In a time when selfishness is spreading like a disease, holidays enable and occasion individuals to become aware of others besides themselves, to become aware of the poor, and to become aware of those who cannot afford meat in their homes. There is a message here. Society needs to consider this. Here, Prophet Muhammad says, 'He who can sleep comfortably while his neighbor is hungry is not one of us.' Mutual aid exists in our culture. Philanthropists who hide their names close the credit ledger at the grocer's and pay off debts. This means selfless kindness.' he said.
Living selfishly is the greatest enemy of global peace
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of doing good deeds and being aware of others during holidays, said, 'Living without thinking of others is the greatest enemy of global peace. A selfish life is the greatest enemy of global peace. It is very necessary for us to take this into account and to have made holidays a culture, and it has social benefits. Its most important benefit is to the family structure. We should see holidays as an increase in the social capital within the family.' he said.
It is necessary to live by sharing during holidays
Emphasizing that there is a poverty of empathy today, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, 'Holidays are the cure for the poverty of empathy. They are the cure for learning. Going to Eid prayer with our child, giving something to the child's hand while helping others and telling them to help, teaches not only to receive but also to give. Because life is not about exchange, it is about giving and getting. Givers win. It is necessary to live by sharing during the holiday. A society where people always say 'me, me, me' will not find peace. In societies where people always live saying 'me, me, me', there is no peace in the individual's inner world, nor in the family. There will be competition between the person who says 'I'll eat the best part of the meal' and their siblings. Fights break out, there is no peace at home. It is the same in society.' he said.
Holidays are days of quality togetherness…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that the social capital in the family will increase with the enrichment of three values, said, 'These three values are love, respect, and trust. These three values and emotions make the family a safe space. An opportunity is needed to increase this. Holidays are days of quality togetherness.' Emphasizing the importance of seeing holiday days as valuable times when we will be together with our family and loved ones, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, 'Especially for intensely working people, holidays are very valuable times to spend with their family and loved ones, to be together. Nowadays, taking a vacation is preferred. It should be seen not as a vacation but as an opportunity for a social event and gathering. Even if one is going somewhere, it is certainly important to be able to go together. Unfortunately, today's conditions lead to environments where family members eat meals separately, and everyone retreats to their room to live as they please. Holidays, at least, provide a breather and bring everyone together. This has become a tradition.' he said
Holidays are days to make family life lovable…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that another dimension of holidays is their contribution to children's development, said, 'Holidays play a very important role in children's psychological behavioral development. Holidays are one of the most important factors in children's behavioral development. Children used to transfer culture with the family, now they do it with social media. Children learn to develop behavior from the family. Information given in the form of conferences, advice, and sermons does not remain permanent in the developing soul of children. What will be permanent are experiences, events. They are life events, scenarios experienced in childhood. All these become experiences for the child with the holiday. Things happen, things are experienced. There is a sharing of happiness, a sharing of love. That's why children love holidays so much. Children celebrate. They are curious about this. For this reason, we recommend that holidays be spent in a quality way with children and contribute to the family. A productive holiday will benefit family ties. Holidays are days to make family life lovable. This should be seen as an opportunity.' he said.
The child will feel both free and belonging
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting the importance of the time a child, especially an adolescent, spends with their family, said, 'Time spent together before the age of 13-15 is much more effective. Spending time together, having fun together, doing things together, and participating in activities all leave a mark on the child's developing soul. In the future, that child becomes attached to the family. The child will be both free and belonging. The child needs to love the family.' he said.
Balanced attitudes within the home are important
Tarhan, pointing to the importance of balanced family attitudes for the child to love the family environment and not detach in the future, warned, 'A child raised only with shame and prohibitions feels like they are in a courtroom environment at home. They don't feel they belong to the home. Of course, the child will learn correct movements and behaviors at home, but attitude is also very important here. The method of this era is persuasion, conviction, and making it lovable. If these are not done, that child will not love it. And if they don't love it, they won't bond.'
Let's teach children the meaning of holidays
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, noting that holidays contribute to a person's spiritual and psychological enrichment, said, 'This is possible by learning sharing, relationship management, and respecting the rights of others. Empathy is not crying with someone who is crying, but understanding their feelings and establishing a relationship by considering their needs and rights. There are many disadvantaged people in society. It is necessary to think of them too. Holidays are an opportunity to provide spiritual help to these people in some way. Let's let our children taste the beauty and joy of doing good deeds. Let's teach our children these meanings of holidays.' he said.