Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, was a guest on the ‘Gündem Özel’ (Special Agenda) program broadcast on TGRT Haber. Stating that the social norms of society and the family are being eroded by the influence of social media, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that parents, not social media, should be the teachers for children, and that parents should not panic about social media. Tarhan said, “Children model 3 things: their mother, their father, and the relationship between their mother and father. If these three are going well, no matter how bad social media is, rest assured that even if there is a negative effect, the child quickly returns to the right path. Therefore, let’s not be pessimistic at all; let’s know what to do. If there are warm relationships in the family and you teach social media literacy before the age of 10-11, don’t be afraid of social media at all. The essence of the matter is to spend more quality time with the child and establish a meaningful togetherness.”
In addition to the social norms of society and the family, individuals’ personal and moral norms have been eroded by the influence of social media. Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that not only in Turkey but all over the world, these foundational family norms and individuals’ inner and moral norms are in crisis. He said, “There is an uncontrolled progression that doesn’t care where people are heading. Previously, family and society transmitted norms, cultural, and ethical standards. Currently, the role of family and society in transmitting culture has significantly diminished. Our concepts of the influence of elders and extended families in correcting wrong behavior, our feedback systems, are disappearing.” He then offered recommendations to prevent children from becoming victims of this situation.
People are exposed to the most insecure situations in the safest environment of their homes
Stating that social media has taken on the role of cultural transmitter, Tarhan said, “In such situations, both good and bad spread very quickly. So, it’s not right to say that social media is entirely bad. Social media also has some advantages. We can follow innovations through social media, people can communicate quickly with each other, people far away can communicate very easily with each other and have fun. But while providing these advantages, on the other hand, people are exposed to the most insecure situations in the safe environment of their homes. Very serious cyber crimes have emerged through identity alteration and concealment. Behaviorally, it has created technological addictions. The reward-punishment system, the pleasure control system in the brain, has been disrupted.”
There are search engines that say ‘Our only competitor is sleep’
Stating that youth is a period where emotions outweigh reason, Tarhan said, “Currently, there is an export from the entertainment industry, Hollywood-centric, to the world. As part of their job, they do it in a fast and highly variable style that can attract people’s attention. Search engines have a very important claim. They have established persuasion laboratories. They calculate how to keep people hooked. For example, one of the search engines says ‘our only competitor is sleep.’ They want to hook people without letting them sleep. In such a situation, we have to change. The reason for this change is that the world has become like an electronic village. The fact that communication has become so fast and pleasurable has raised people’s expectations of freedom, autonomy, and self-governance.” He also stated that young people seriously object to concepts like ‘shame, forbidden, sin’ and enjoy questioning these concepts.
If there is peace and warm relationships in the family, don’t fear social media at all
Stating that parents approach their children with good intentions, Tarhan pointed out an important aspect: “Parents, not social media, should be teaching. Parents approach their children with good intentions, but because the method they use is wrong, children take on opposing roles. The exact opposite of what parents want emerges. Because today’s children learn not through pressure, threats, intimidation, or authority like children of old, but through appreciation, praise, words of approval, methods of persuasion and conviction, along with their justifications. Because we cannot do this, the crisis in families has grown. In fact, it’s not difficult at all, there’s no need to panic about social media. If there is peace and warm relationships in the family and you teach social media literacy before the age of 10-11, don’t be afraid of social media at all. Those who are affected by social media are those with weak family ties. Children model 3 things: their mother, their father, and the relationship between their mother and father. If these three are going well, no matter how bad social media is, rest assured that even if there is a negative effect, the child quickly returns to the right path. They ask, “Is my family more important, or is this more important?” Therefore, let’s not be pessimistic at all; let’s know what to do. Ibn Khaldun, who was in a way the father of Western social sciences, sociology, says, ‘You don’t need to do anything to raise your child. Your child will be like you.’ Children don’t understand advice, lectures, or sermons. Children understand the language of behavior, not the language of words; they observe your behaviors, record them, and imitate them.”
Children have become victims of digital capitalism
Drawing attention to the fact that culture is often understood only as tangible culture, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “We do not have a seriously structured cultural policy. We have reduced culture only to tangible culture, museology, and the repair of historical artifacts. However, culture is also abstract culture. If we cannot shape the culture, morality, and values of the people who will walk on those roads and in those buildings we create, this generation will consist of individuals managed and educated by social media. Children are currently surrendered to global capitalism, having become victims of digital capitalism. It’s as if they are enchanting children… A person gets so caught up in magic that they become hypnotized and are not interested in anything else. Children are exactly like this. You see them at the head of social media for 24 hours; there are children having heart attacks. There are even children who stab their mothers for taking away their modem. Children even avoid going to the toilet because they are busy with social media, keeping water bottles in their rooms. For example, there’s school refusal. Children don’t go to school due to social media; young people don’t work. Unfortunately, these are not marginal cases anymore. They are observed very frequently. These children become victims of social media. Social media is the new leader instead of parental leadership at home. For example, everyone used to listen to the grandfather at home. Social media is currently in the position of the family grandfather. Everyone is interested in it, not anything else. Social media has enslaved our minds and emotions,” he shared his observations.
People want to live as if they will never be accountable
“The world has started to multiply with self-centered, self-interested, pleasure-seeking individuals who see themselves as special, important, and superior. Social media has amplified this. The second is secularism. That is, worldliness, becoming worldly. People want to live as if they will never be accountable. There is no sense of accountability regarding the afterlife. When this happens, people can do evil secretly. This was also present among the Greeks in ancient times. Theft was allowed as long as one was not caught. Currently, the world has started to live by the morality of ancient times globally. This is a morality of ignorance.”
Children need to be taught to manage social media until the age of 10-12
Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan concluded his words with solution proposals:
“Certainly, every parent has the desire and goal to raise good people. While striving for this goal, parents accompany each other. Companionship is not just romance; it also means doing things that will lead the family and society to good. The age of 10-12 is very critical. If we teach children to manage social media up to this age, we teach them well. After that, it’s very difficult. Because when it’s too late, then mother-child, father-child wars begin. Even then, there is a solution, but it’s more difficult. Therefore, parents need to put the impact of social media on their agenda. No one should be pessimistic. It is a fact that parents will not be like old parents. Children no longer grow up by being left to roam freely on the street; social media should not be the child’s grandfather either. The essence of the matter is to spend more quality time with the child and establish a meaningful togetherness.”