Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan was a live broadcast guest on TGRT Haber. Tarhan made striking evaluations regarding "Digitalization and its Impact on Children." Emphasizing that children with weak family bonds are more prone to addiction, Tarhan noted that children who are resistant to pleasure traps are less addicted.
Their brains turn into highways; they live only with it!
During the live broadcast he attended, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that addiction disrupts the brain's reward system, emphasizing the similarity between digital addiction and substance addiction. Tarhan said; “The digital world has enslaved our youth. It influences, manages, dictates, and, in a way, controls their lives as it wishes. The digital world has such a characteristic. Addiction comes in two forms: chemical addictions and behavioral addictions. Digital addiction falls into the behavioral addiction group. In this addiction, just like in substance addiction, the reward system in a person's brain is disrupted. The brain's neural network becomes like a highway. Addicted individuals experience reward deficiency syndrome; they are not satisfied with rewards. That region of the brain becomes like a highway, and they only think about that reward. They live only with it, they are interested only in it. It becomes the center of their lives, but for this to happen, years must pass. It doesn't happen suddenly.”
Children with weak family bonds become addicted more easily…
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that when there is no proper guidance within the family, children's risk of digital addiction increases; “Adolescence is a period when a young person seeks and finds their own identity in life. During this period, if there is no proper guidance in the family or environment, these individuals are more exposed to digital addiction, and the risk increases. If digital addiction exists, it is necessary to focus on the environment in which these young people grow up before holding them responsible. The family environment is important here, and the school environment is important. Previously, families transmitted culture, but now the media does. If the family is weak, fragile, these children become addicted more easily. If family bonds are strong, if children love their family, if the home is a safe space, children do not become addicted. Even if they fall into addiction, they get out easily. If family bonds are weak, the child turns to this as a stress-reduction technique. They turn to it as a method of happiness. They can turn to it in search of excitement. They turn to it out of curiosity, as a behavior of seeking novelty, but the most important factor is that a person turns to digital when they don't feel good.”
“Parenting is preparing the child for life”
Tarhan pointed out that if happiness and pleasure are taught as a life philosophy, the child can become addicted, also stating that leadership in the home should not be ceded to the child. Tarhan said; “Some parents let the child take the lead in the family home. When the child is the leader, a child emerges who wants every wish fulfilled and places pleasure at the center of their life as a philosophy. If we teach happiness and pleasure as a life philosophy, the child will become addicted. Even if the home is a good environment, if the life philosophy is wrong, the child will become addicted. If we raise our child saying, ‘What you like is good, what you don't like is bad,’ if we presented everything on a silver platter, if we raised them like a hothouse flower, if we removed all obstacles in front of them, this child will always get used to the easy way, to ready-made solutions. In parenting practice, being a parent does not mean making the child happy, but preparing the child for life. We must give the child a purpose in life, an ego ideal. Our children need to learn this.”
“Children resistant to pleasure traps become less addicted”
Tarhan stated that children should be taught good and right as a life philosophy; “Current psychology schools say, ‘A person who only pursues their own interests is selfish and bad.’ If we teach our child good and right as a life philosophy, our child will embrace taking risks and coping with difficulties for their own future, family, country, and homeland, and can say no to pleasure traps. Children who are resistant to pleasure traps become less addicted. We teach children the skill of delayed gratification. ‘You have a goal. To reach that goal, you will delay these gratifications. You will make a sacrifice now, and you will gain five times more in the future.’ When we teach this, the child can say no to addiction. It is necessary to teach the skill of delayed gratification and resilience training.”
Beware of Clip Syndrome!
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that children between 0-3 years old should be kept completely away from screens, explaining the importance of raising children in an environment where love and discipline are balanced. Tarhan said; “Absolutely no phones or tablets should be given to children between the ages of 0-3. From the age of 3 until adolescence, the child should use them under parental supervision. Between 0-3 years old, the child spends hours, silently. Then, a condition we call ‘clip syndrome’ occurs. The child experiences delayed speech, and they are thought to be autistic. They present with delayed speech, meaning the child's brain areas for word production and verbal development have not developed, and the brain atrophies. If they don't learn this by the age of 4, it becomes very difficult afterwards; in other words, the child's language and speech skills do not develop. Especially to feed them easily or to silence them, we give phones and tablets, essentially creating learned autism. If we want them to become a child who is the captain of their own ship, who manages themselves in the future, we will raise the child in a rule-based environment. We will raise them in an environment where discipline and love are given in a balanced way. Advice should be like snowfall. If it is slow, continuous, and consistent, it works; otherwise, it won't.”
“Parents should not cede leadership to the child”
Tarhan spoke about the importance of investing in motherhood and fatherhood; “We cannot educate children by shouting and yelling. We can educate them if we become companions on their journey. Instead of educating our child by standing opposite them, we should take them by our side and teach them by progressing together on the path of life. When we can do this, that child learns good and bad, everything. Especially until the age of 10, children are necessarily dependent on their parents. Until that period, parents can very easily set boundaries with gentle discipline. They can easily guide the child by saying, ‘First do this, then we will give you the computer.’ Parents should not cede leadership to the child. The final decision should be made by both parents using a common language. If the mother says one thing and the father says another, the child is also affected by this. For this reason, let's invest in motherhood and fatherhood. You can be a good businessman, but it's also important for us to be a good father. We can be a good business person, but it's also important to be a good mother. If we make a healthy division of roles in the family, let's not be afraid at all, children grow up beautifully on their own. Since the child opens up to the world with their mother and father, parenting practices in the first 10 years are very important.”
“We can make the youth of this era love what is good, right, and beautiful through persuasion and conviction”
Tarhan stated that communication with the youth of this era should be established according to their frequency; “For a secure family and a healthy profession, appreciation, praise, and words of approval should be the norm at home, while criticism should be an exception. Children of this era understand not through pressure, threat, intimidation, or suppression, but through persuasion and conviction. This is the frequency of young people. In other words, we can only make the youth of this era love what is good, right, and beautiful through persuasion and conviction. If we approach them by fear, we alienate them from ourselves, our truths, and our own values. The family is an ecosystem. At the center of the ecosystem is the individual. After that comes the rest of the environment. First, the child themselves, then their mother, father, family, society, and then their surroundings. The child is affected by all of these. Therefore, let's raise our children without falling into despair or pessimism. Children learn life through experiences, stories, and time spent together. They do not learn through advice or lectures. In other words, in life, trust is the rule, fear is the exception. The important thing is to make the home a safe space.”
