Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, met with educators within the scope of the Maarif Meetings organized under the leadership of the İstanbul Provincial Directorate of National Education Teacher Academy, in cooperation with the Maltepe District Directorate of National Education, with the theme of 'Promoting Peer Kindness and Psychological Resilience in School Climate and Culture.' Speaking under the title 'Peer Kindness and Psychological Resilience,' Tarhan stated that peer bullying has become a global problem and drew attention to the deep emotional voids behind bullying behaviors.
Stating that digitalization is virtually putting children and young people under 'digital anesthesia,' Tarhan emphasized that screen addiction alienates children from both themselves and real relationships. Tarhan; in this process, he touched upon the importance of acquiring empathy, kindness, and psychological resilience skills at an early age, stating that teachers play a key role in creating a positive school and classroom climate. Tarhan also emphasized that the remedy for peer bullying is empathetic communication.
The program was held at Maltepe Şehit Osman Yılmaz Girls' Anatolian Imam Hatip High School.
Many educators working in the districts of Maltepe, Ataşehir, Ümraniye, and Sancaktepe showed great interest in the program organized with the participation of Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan. İstanbul Provincial Director of National Education Assoc. Prof. Dr. Murat Mücahit Yentür and Maltepe District Director of National Education Hale Bağce Özbaş also attended the program.
Assoc. Prof. Dr. Murat Mücahit Yentür: “Value-Based Education is Our Most Important Goal”
İstanbul Provincial Director of National Education Assoc. Prof. Dr. Murat Mücahit Yentür, in his speech within the scope of the program, drew attention to value-based education. Yentür said; “We, as teachers, do the work that gives the most meaning to life. We are concerned with human beings, the most valuable existence in the universe. We don't go to work; we go to school, to our students. Our working hours are not limited to class time. We live the teaching profession with our bodies and souls. That's why a small cup of tea, a short rest doesn't tire us. Human relationships can sometimes be challenging, but what determines it here is where we look at life and what we set as our goal. The modern age's understanding of capitalism is one of the main reasons for human unhappiness. Although the idea of consuming more gives a sense of freedom, it drags people into other addictions. It is necessary to distinguish well between the meaning attributed to objects, money, and position, and true value. Today, social and emotional learning, value construction, the 'we' language, and awareness of rights are more important than ever. Whatever the name of the era, the subject of the world does not change: humanity. For this reason, value-based education is our most important goal in the Türkiye Century Education Model.”
Hale Bağce Özbaş: “Peer Relationships are on Everyone's Agenda”
Maltepe District Director of National Education Hale Bağce Özbaş took the stage for her opening speech. Özbaş said; “We had close collaborations with Üsküdar Üniversitesi in the district where I previously worked. I believe that in the coming period, we will achieve great things with our universities, especially Üsküdar Üniversitesi, under your leadership. Today’s topic is truly very valuable. Peer relationships and the problems our students experience, which we frequently encounter in schools, sometimes surprise us and are difficult to find answers to, are on all our agendas. Our esteemed professor Nevzat Tarhan will convey the concept of ‘Peer Kindness’ to us today. Kindness is an extremely comprehensive concept that forms the basis of education. It is said, ‘Kindness is free,’ but its effect is extremely great.”
Following the opening speeches, Üsküdar Üniversitesi Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, held a talk titled “Peer Kindness and Psychological Resilience,” moderated by journalist Şaban Özdemir.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: “There's a Bully and a Victim…”
Emphasizing that peer bullying has become a global problem, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said; “When we look at the literature, while the OECD average is around 33 percent in Europe, this rate is at the 40s level in Turkey. It is interestingly higher in Turkey, and its sociopsychological reasons should be investigated further. In peer bullying, there is a bully and a victim. Sometimes a person can be both a bully and a victim. This is not a new situation; it existed before. However, with digitalization, it has become more widespread and visible. With the viral effect of social media, a situation that previously affected a few people can now reach dozens. We see that by sharing an inappropriate image of a student, they can be subjected to the ridicule of many peers at the same time. Here, it is necessary to understand adolescence well. In psychological literature, adolescence is defined as a normal schizophrenic period, meaning inconsistent and excessive behaviors are expected from adolescents. I knew this information scientifically, but then another point caught my attention. In a hadith of Prophet Muhammad, it is stated, ‘The age of puberty is a branch of madness.’ This shows a very strong approach indicating that these behaviors exhibited during adolescence were considered normal even 1400 years ago.”
“There are Great Emotional Voids Behind Bullying”
Stating that the normalization of lies is one of the biggest mistakes, Tarhan said; “Adolescence is a period of identity confusion where questions like ‘Who am I, where should I belong, why?’ are asked. This is experienced as an identity chaos where cultural, social, sexual, and ethnic identities intertwine. Adolescents usually find their own identities around the age of 22. They make mistakes during this process. Making mistakes, except for major ones like substance abuse, is a natural part of this period. However, one of the biggest mistakes is the normalization of lies. If a child makes lying a normal habit, there is usually a culture of pressure, not fear. When the degree of pressure increases, a child raised with excessive criticism feels the need to prove themselves and appear strong. In this process, relationships and balances are disrupted. Behind bullying behaviors, there are often great emotional voids and emotional misunderstandings.”
“The Teacher Must Be the Class Leader, Should Not Let the Child Take the Leadership”
Referring to the teacher's role in the classroom, Tarhan said; “If a positive school climate can be created in the school, and a positive classroom climate in the classroom, it becomes possible to develop positive behaviors. Otherwise, when a child stands silently in a corner in the classroom and is judged in front of everyone by being asked, ‘Why aren’t you talking?’ they withdraw further. The teacher’s role here is very important. The teacher must be the class leader, should not let the child take the leadership. A teacher is like a shepherd who manages the flock. A successful shepherd knows the flock like the back of their hand; they notice a limping, lagging, or sick sheep, goes and gets it, and gets it treated. That is, they manage. A teacher who is a class leader also notices the silent student. They approach them not in front of everyone but with one-on-one communication, asking, ‘You are quiet, is there anything I can do for you, would you like to talk?’ This approach creates a strong empathetic communication environment for the child.”
The Remedy for Peer Bullying: Empathetic Communication!
Stating that every incident should be seen as an opportunity for education, Tarhan said; “If you ask me to state the remedy for peer bullying in one sentence: Empathetic communication. The essence of positive communication is also empathetic communication. If you filled a room with all evils, the door would be opened by a lack of empathy. When you look at studies written on the psychology of evil, you reach the same point. I examined Simon Baron’s works on the psychology of evil, and all of them point to a lack of empathy. In developed countries, a child involved in crime is not released from a rehabilitation center without learning empathy. Because when they leave without developing empathy, they repeat the same behavior. Therefore, it is necessary to teach empathy. In the classroom, the teacher should see every incident as an opportunity for education to create a positive classroom climate. An educator who thinks, ‘How can I solve this situation empathetically?’ solves the problem.”
“How You Do It Is As Important As What You Do”
Stating that kindness is an inclusive concept, Tarhan said; “Respect is important, but kindness is a more comprehensive concept than respect. Because kindness includes empathy. Rudeness is hurtful in human relationships; people are hurt by rudeness. Kindness is the ability to present even the harshest words, the most difficult proposal, without causing offense. Bitter medicines are coated with a dragee; if you give the medicine directly, it will be rejected, but when offered gently, it is easily taken. Similarly, if you administer orally administered medicine intravenously, the person will be harmed. In other words, how you do it is as important as what you do. The purpose of empathetic communication is to develop and correct the other party's behavior. When you do this with an empathetic approach, the person accepts the incorrect behavior both mentally and emotionally and puts it into practice. Empathy is putting yourself in their shoes and looking at the situation from their perspective. Here, it is important not to confuse empathy with sympathy. Sympathy is crying with someone when they cry. Empati is not this. Empathy is understanding and transforming emotion.”
“Kindness Follows Footprints, Not Words”
Explaining how kindness can be taught practically, Tarhan said; “Kindness follows footprints, not words. That is, if you are kind, the child observes and models that kindness. Therefore, we should set an example not with words, but with our demeanor. We need to create awareness about kindness. Concepts like kindness and empathy should find a place in the human mind, just like opening a window on a computer. First in ourselves, then in children, the thought ‘I must be kind, I must not bully, I must be empathetic’ needs to be placed in an order of importance and priority. We need to learn how to do this without breaking or harming. If we take these three steps, we can practically learn kindness.”
What Does the Nihilist Penguin Tell Us?
Responding to a question, Tarhan also evaluated the recently topical penguin video; “The ‘penguin leaving the flock’ video, which went viral on social media and was taken from a documentary from years ago, has become not just a natural event but a global sociopsychological phenomenon. The story of this penguin, who leaves its flock and advances with determined steps towards the unknown, even if the end is loneliness and death, has been embraced by millions of people. To find the answer to this question, it is necessary to analyze this metaphor with historical examples and look into the depths of human psychology. Today, a similar situation is being experienced on a global scale. As reflected in United Nations (UN) reports; the peak of income inequality, unfair distribution, and global injustice have accumulated a great internal reaction in people. That penguin has thus become a 'symbolic rebellion' of modern humans who are stuck in this system, subjected to injustice, and have lost their meaning.”
Why a Penguin and Not a Child?
Stating that real pains are sometimes too heavy burdens for the human mind to bear, Tarhan said, “Instead of directly confronting tragedies, people find it easier to project their own emotions through metaphors. The penguin here is a tool; people react by attributing a ‘metaphorical meaning’ to that penguin regarding injustice in the world, their own loneliness, and their desire to break free from the system. That penguin leaving the flock; is actually the inner voice of the modern individual who becomes lonely within crowds, is crushed between the gears of the system, and says, ‘I also want to leave this flock.’ Humanity, while looking at that penguin, is actually crying for its own loneliness, its own injustices, and its own crisis of meaning. This video is a silent but profound social clue about the deterioration of mental health in the global system and the need for a major shift in mindset.”
“Digital Anesthesia is Administered to Our Children”
Stating that voluntary imperialism is being experienced, Tarhan said; “Today, globally, the speed brought by digitalization and the entertainment industry have become the common culture of the world. With Hollywood culture, a voluntary imperialism is being experienced. Is there imperialism? Yes, but this is a voluntary imperialism that we embrace willingly. Today, every young person is almost like a prey of global imperialism. Digital traps have been set, and digital anesthesia is being administered to our children. When they go in front of screens, they disconnect from themselves, putting aside their priorities in life. Moreover, not just children, but all of us experience this. In such an environment, the way to manage resources is through awareness. For this, we first need to analyze ourselves. Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses is the first step towards psychological resilience. In the second step, we should question how we look at ourselves, our environment, and our future. ‘Do we look at ourselves positively, how do we perceive our environment, what is our outlook on the future?’ The answers we give to these questions enable the formation of awareness.” He concluded his words.
Following the talk, a gift was presented to Tarhan.
The program ended with a group photo session.
