Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of emotional flexibility and psychological resilience in coping with and managing stress, stated that mental flexibility and psychological flexibility are a continuation of each other. Tarhan highlighted that individuals with emotional flexibility can bend during a crisis and return to their original state. He stated that being able to be happy and healthy in all conditions, like a flower that blooms in all four seasons, in the cold of winter, the heat of summer, rain, or mud, is possible with psychological resilience. Tarhan also emphasized the necessity of psychological flexibility for this resilience, and noted that people with strong value judgments have better psychological resilience.
Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, pointing out that the fast, pleasure and profit-oriented life in the age of communication has increased the global stress level, said that emotional flexibility methods can be used to cope with stress. Tarhan said, “Mental flexibility and psychological flexibility are like a continuation of each other. If you have these flexibilities, when a crisis occurs, you bend and then return to your original state. The whole trick here is for a person to fight and immediately get back on their feet when they experience a crisis or tension. Being able to be happy and healthy in all conditions, to be able to achieve well-being, to be like a flower that blooms in all four seasons in the cold of winter, the heat of summer, rain, or mud, is psychological resilience. For this resilience to exist, psychological flexibility is required.”
Stating that studies are being carried out all over the world regarding the need for “Mindfulness” training to be taught systematically in schools with the rise in stress levels, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that we should also preserve our own culture while modernizing. Tarhan gave examples from a study conducted on Japanese and American children of primary school age, saying: “Let's take the beautiful aspects of the West. Let's take their science and technology, but let their culture remain theirs. In schools in Japan and American schools, children of the same age group were given difficult mathematical tests, questions they couldn't answer, and they measured how many minutes it took them to give up. American children gave up on average in the ninth minute, but Japanese children gave up in the thirteenth minute. That means there is 50% more resilience. Because culture teaches that. In Japan, they don't load any information for the first four years. They only teach human values.”
“Everything breaks from delicacy, but humans break from rudeness”
Drawing attention to the fact that rigid objects appear solid, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Humans have a characteristic. Everything breaks from delicacy, but humans break from rudeness. Things that are flexible in humans are strong. Do you want to enter the hearts of your spouse, children, and loved ones? If you break the door, you cannot enter there. The way to enter the heart is to establish good relationships with people, to establish a relationship of love.”
Regrets are enough to ruin mental health
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that everyone can be sad when they are wronged, rejected, disappointed, or fail to achieve their goal, and that this is a natural emotion. He said, “It is important to be able to accept the event experienced. Someone who cannot accept it starts living with 'if only's. This is enough to consume a person. It is enough to ruin a person's mental health. When a person is sad about something, if there is a remedy, it is done, and it's not worth being sad. If there is no remedy, it's still not worth being sad because the outcome will not change even if you are sad. When a person learns this, they gain resilience against the event they experienced. This is acceptance, different from surrender. A person must have faith in something greater than themselves. When you say 'just believe in yourself,' the person breaks down where their strength is not enough. However, in such situations, believing in something greater than oneself, being part of a larger meaning, believing in a higher power, a higher value, and having a refuge related to this, makes a person resilient. The most reasonable belief is that there is a will that knows everything, controls everything, possesses absolute will, absolute power, absolute wisdom, absolute knowledge, and absolute might in the world.” He used these expressions.
“Events should be thought of separately”
Tarhan pointed out that the spiritual support and religious coping method found in the Holy Quran in our geography is not present in any other religion, saying, “Especially in situations where one's strength is insufficient, if one can accept the event, one says, 'it seems I had to experience this.' One accepts it. One feels part of a higher meaning. On the other hand, acceptance is important for a person to be emotionally resilient. Acceptance is a condition, but it's not enough. Furthermore, a person should not live in the past. There is a very beautiful slogan; 'Learn from the past, look to the future. But live today.' It's not 'live the moment,' it's 'live in the moment.' Every event should be evaluated in its context. An event experienced in the past also needs to be evaluated in its context. It is also important to think by separating events. When you think without separating events, it creates a kind of mental confusion. Such people cannot do timing or sequencing. They cannot prioritize or give importance to events they experience. In close relationships, when a person cannot make that separation, they cannot consider what intention the other person had.”
Emotions that cannot coexist…
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that we can achieve psychological resilience only if our scale of values is correct, and said: “It is necessary to separate the emotional, cognitive, and behavioral dimensions of an event. Especially in close relationships, good faith is essential. If you are facing people like enemies, then bad faith is prioritized. In close relationships, good faith is the rule, bad faith is the exception. Trust is essential, suspicion is the exception. These are values. People with strong value judgments have better psychological resilience. Therefore, we need to establish our own value system correctly. Because if a person's ruler is crooked, they cannot find the truth. If our scale of values is correct, we can achieve psychological resilience. In that value system, there are 24 basic human values such as keeping one's word and not lying. Ambition and happiness do not coexist. Jealousy and peace do not coexist. The feeling of arrogance and the feeling of security do not coexist. If you have these values and want to be happy, peaceful, and feel secure, then you must stay away from ambition, jealousy, and arrogance. You will develop behavior appropriate to these values. For example, if there is laziness, if there is pessimism, you will not expect success. Success is not possible for someone with this mindset. Similarly, we must develop mental strategies to be able to state who, what, where, in what context, how it happened, and to act in a way appropriate to psychological flexibility.”