Founding Rector of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, participated in an online talk organized by the Gaziantep Oğuzeli District National Education Directorate. Delivering his speech under the title “Positive Psychology,” Tarhan stated that positive psychology aims to increase the quality of human life. Tarhan also drew attention to ‘Crowded loneliness,’ chosen as the word of the year, emphasizing that an unsafe home environment is one of the most significant reasons for loneliness.
“Positive psychology is about increasing the quality of human life”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, discussing the definition of positive psychology, said: “Positive psychology is not Pollyannaism. Psychology brings the negative to zero. The goal of positive psychology is to elevate zero towards positive. That is, to increase the quality of life, to achieve well-being. A state of well-being. The Turkish equivalent of the word ‘well-being’ is ‘afiyet’. This word ‘afiyet’ refers to health and a state of well-being. Positive psychology is about increasing the quality of human life.”
“Behind fears, there is only one emotion: uncertainty…”
Tarhan, emphasizing that uncertainty needs to be defined, said: “Yalom talks about 4 basic anxieties awaiting humanity. One of the fears is the search for meaning. When one cannot find meaning, anxiety emerges. The other is the desire for freedom. When a person does not feel free, they feel anxious. Another fear is the fear of death. When no definition is made about death, fear increases. Another fear is loneliness. Loneliness feels like poison to a person. These are existential fundamental fears. Behind these fears, there is only one emotion: uncertainty. When we define uncertainty, these fears immediately resolve. The greatest enemy of freedom is lawlessness. What protects freedom are the right rules. When you provide such definitions, fears disappear.”
“Empathy deficiency is most common in individuals with high ego”
Tarhan stated that the main theme of evil is empathy deficiency: “Positive psychology is a very important step in overcoming existential fears. In positive psychology, human virtues are taught: keeping one's word, being honest, being hardworking, being helpful, being compassionate. When we examine books written about evil, the main theme is empathy deficiency. Empathy deficiency is most common in individuals with high ego. Most of the people who commit these evils are those who abuse their wives and animals. They are all very merciless, cruel individuals we call Type B personalities. The main characteristic of Type B personalities is empathy deficiency. Such people do not feel regret. If these types of individuals have a character disorder, it does not improve, but if it is a personality trait, it improves by realizing it is wrong.”
“On the journey of life, we need a guiding map”
Tarhan, drawing attention to the importance of ethical values while progressing on life's path, said: “On the journey of life, we need a guiding map. That map is values. Stereotypes teach us where to turn right, where to turn left, where to speed up, where to slow down. Stereotypes also mean values. Having values affects a person's life and honor. Therefore, we need to define values. There are goal values and instrumental values. Goal values are about being a good person. Instrumental values are about being hardworking and honest. For example, the capitalist system has set a measure in the education system. It says, 'Be smart, be hardworking, that's enough.' This is the ego ideal it sets for young people. It has defined these two as virtues: be smart, be hardworking. A smart person goes to university and becomes a chemical engineer. He produces synthetic cannabis. He becomes a computer engineer and engages in hacking. He becomes a doctor and sets up a newborn gang. All of these stem from the failure to teach ethical values and moral norms.”
“An unsafe home environment is one of the most important reasons for loneliness”
Tarhan, explaining the concept of crowded loneliness, said: “A person is alone in a crowd. This means there isn't someone they can call a friend, confide in, or safely rely on to alleviate their loneliness. They don't feel safe. People face intense work paces and various problems outside. In such a situation, the home should be like a shelter. When it is, a person feels safe, not lonely. Currently, the home is ceasing to be a safe space. In other words, tension at home also negatively affects children. Healthy relationships cannot be established. As a result, people feel lonely. Household fragility has also increased today. It is increasing in Turkey and around the world. Five-person households are decreasing, while single-person households are increasing. An unsafe home environment is one of the most important reasons for loneliness.”
“Narcissism is selfishness transformed into a personality trait”
Tarhan stated that egoism drives people to loneliness: “Neoliberal policies reduced regulation in capitalism. Under the guise of freedom, it pushed competitiveness into fierce competition. That is, an approach like 'Be rich, no matter how.' This is hedonism. After hedonism comes egoism. Narcissism is selfishness transformed into a personality trait. So, we are currently in such a time. For this reason, egoism also leads people to loneliness. Hedonistic people remain alone. When their spouse falls ill, they say, 'I only came to this world once, I can't take care of your patient,' and end the marriage. There is such selfishness. The solution to all of this depends on the person changing their lifestyle.”
“Where there is justice, virtues function better”
Tarhan, emphasizing the importance of justice in all matters, said: “Whoever transcends themselves is virtuous. Whoever fails to transcend themselves is without virtue. A person who only thinks of their own interests is bad. If you want a definition of evil, look at a person who lives only for themselves. A person who works only for themselves is bad. A person who only thinks of their own interests is bad. Also, if there is a selfish child at home who only thinks of their own interests, there will be no peace in that home. Parents should have joint leadership, and fair sharing is needed there. Justice within the family is important. Justice is important in every sharing. Where there is justice, virtues function better. If our goal is justice, the method of this era is democratic functioning. Democracy is not just a form of government but also a system of values.”
“Raising virtuous children as a legacy is more important than leaving a factory!”
Tarhan stated that children should be taught the right ego ideal: “In life, we must have goals worth toiling for and putting effort into. We need to teach children the ego ideal. Being smart and hardworking is not enough. One also needs to be a good and virtuous person. If we teach our child to be a virtuous person as an ego ideal, that child will handle many things themselves. They can be the captain of their own ship. Therefore, we must be able to teach this to our children. Raising virtuous children as a legacy is more important than leaving a factory…”
“Adolescents' greatest need is the need to be valued”
Tarhan stated that one needs to learn to find joy in ordinary situations: “What enables serotonin production in the brain is the happiness of meaning. When someone encounters an obstacle while pursuing a goal, those who rely on dopamine happiness immediately get discouraged. They want to get that pleasure again, but those who rely on serotonin happiness focus on overcoming the obstacle. They look for new ways, new plans. They succeed and start taking pleasure in small things. They find joy on every step of the ladder, with every ascent. So, we need to teach young people to take pleasure in ordinary things. We will not present pleasures to young people on a silver platter. For example, a small smile is a reward for them. A loving gaze, saying a few kind words, is a reward. Especially adolescents' greatest need is the need to be valued. When you value them, it serves as a tremendous reward. Doing these things is enough to motivate them.”