Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı, a Faculty Member in the Department of Sociology at Üsküdar University, evaluated whether modern life makes loneliness an inevitable destiny on the occasion of 'July 11 Singles' Day'.
Loneliness: a social outcome produced by the modern world
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı stated that loneliness is an emotion as old as human history, but it has gained a different dimension in the modern world, and continued:
“Therefore, loneliness cannot be seen merely as an individual feeling experienced in a person's inner world. Urbanization, migration, transformation in family structure, individualization, competitive education and work life, digitalization, and the superficialization of daily relationships are among the main social conditions feeding this emotion. For this reason, loneliness in modern life is not an inevitable fate; it is rather a result produced by the social order in which we live. A person can be visible in crowds, at work, at school, on social media; but may not feel truly understood, heard, and accepted. Today's loneliness is somewhat the state of 'being without people among people'.”
Süleymanlı stated that the World Health Organization's approach to loneliness as a serious social and health problem on a global scale indicates that this is no coincidence, and said, “Loneliness is not just a psychological vulnerability; it is a multi-dimensional issue affecting physical health, quality of life, education, work life, and social cohesion.”
Constant connection does not mean real connection!
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı, stating that digitalization offers people more opportunities to communicate but that this does not always mean real connection, said, “Thanks to social media, people have become constantly online, constantly visible, and constantly accessible. However, this visibility often does not produce deep intimacy. Short messages, emojis, likes, and story shares cannot fully replace real conversation, face-to-face contact, and emotional sharing.”
Prof. Süleymanlı, stating that lonely individuals turn to social media more, but that excessive and superficial use of social media can also increase loneliness, stated, “There is a two-way process here. Lonely people may turn to social media more; but excessive and superficial use of social media can also deepen loneliness. As people see others' lives as brighter, more social, and more successful, they begin to feel their own lives are lacking. This not only increases loneliness but also transforms it into an invisible pressure of comparison.'”
Artificial intelligence does not replace real relationships!
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı pointed out that recently, AI-powered chat applications have also become an important part of loneliness discussions, and said, “Artificial intelligence tools can say the words people want to hear in times of crisis; they listen without judgment, give compassionate answers, and can create a sense of emotional support. This can be temporarily comforting. However, if people try to alleviate their loneliness by talking to AI for a long time instead of engaging in real relationships, this situation, just like with social media, can deepen loneliness even further. Because a person's real need is not just to get answers; it is to be seen, heard, and valued by a real human being.'”
Invisibility in crowded cities, a feeling of being misunderstood in small settlements…
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı stated that loneliness is experienced differently in large cities and small settlements, and said, “In large cities, loneliness is mostly experienced as remaining invisible within a crowd. People take the same metro with thousands of others every day, walk on the same streets, live in the same apartment building; but often cannot establish a real connection with anyone. While a large city offers freedom and mobility to individuals, it can also make relationships more temporary, more distant, and more functional.'”
Prof. Süleymanlı also pointed to the loneliness experienced in small settlements, saying, “In small settlements, social control is stronger, people know each other more, and daily encounters happen more naturally. This situation can sometimes reduce loneliness. However, loneliness is not absent in small places either. Especially the elderly, those who have lost their spouses, families whose children have moved to big cities due to migration, or individuals who do not feel compatible with their surroundings can experience profound loneliness. Therefore, big city loneliness and small place loneliness manifest in different ways. In a big city, a person gets lost in the crowd; in a small place, they sometimes feel misunderstood despite being known by everyone. In one, anonymity, in the other, emotional incompatibility can feed loneliness.'”
Single-person households are rapidly increasing
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı, pointing out that single-person households are rapidly increasing in modern societies, continued as follows:
“The increase in single-person households is one of the most striking transformations in modern societies. This situation is not merely a demographic change; it indicates the reshaping of family, neighborhood, kinship, solidarity, and care relationships. In Turkey, TÜİK data clearly demonstrates this transformation. According to TÜİK's 2025 data, the rate of single-person households consisting of individuals living alone increased from 13.9% in 2014 to 20.5% in 2025. People now live more independently, make more individual decisions, and attach more importance to their private spaces. While this can be liberating in some aspects; it also brings the risk of weakening social ties. This trend, conceptualized as 'solo living' by American sociologist Eric Klinenberg, also stands out as a lifestyle choice, especially among urban and creative classes.'”
Asking for help, getting support, needing someone is not weakness
Prof. Süleymanlı noted that as individualization increases, people place themselves more at the center of their own lives, and stated, “However, the culture of self-sufficiency can, over time, turn into the illusion of needing no one. Yet, human beings are relational by biological, psychological, and sociological nature. Asking for help, getting support, needing someone is not a weakness, but a natural part of being human.'”
Loneliness is now an important social policy issue
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı stated that loneliness cannot be considered merely an individual emotion, and said, “From the perspective of society's social structure, the increase in single-person households necessitates a rethinking of care labor, the experience of old age, solidarity in times of crisis, and intergenerational relationships. Because as the number of individuals living alone increases, loneliness ceases to be merely an emotion experienced within the home and becomes a social policy issue. Loneliness is, of course, an emotion experienced by the individual; but it cannot be explained solely as an individual emotion. Because the conditions that produce loneliness are often societal. The education system, work pace, urban life, digital culture, transformation in family structure, economic insecurity, and weakening social solidarity directly affect an individual's experience of loneliness.'”
Healthy communication skills should be developed in the digital age
Prof. Süleymanlı pointed out that today, loneliness is linked to health, education, employment, social security, and social participation, and said, “Research shows that loneliness is associated with depression, anxiety, cardiovascular diseases, dementia, and an increased risk of premature death. Among young people, loneliness can lead to consequences ranging from weakened social skills and decreased academic motivation to a narrowing of future employment opportunities. Therefore, loneliness should be considered one of the important social problems of contemporary societies. Simply telling an individual to 'be more social' is not enough. Safe public spaces where people can gather, social and cultural activities for young people, support networks for the elderly, solidarity mechanisms at the neighborhood level, and healthy communication skills in the digital age should be developed.'”
The real question is not how many people we talk to, but how many people we can connect with
Prof. Ebulfez Süleymanlı reminded that Üsküdar University has been organizing International Loneliness Symposia, addressing the theme of loneliness from different perspectives each year since 2019, and said:
“'It would not be right to limit the issue of loneliness solely to the individual's inner world today. This topic should now be addressed together with many current issues, from the increase in single-person households to the isolation of the elderly population, from young people's digital relationships to AI-powered chat applications, from migration to big city life, and invisible social isolation in workplaces. As Üsküdar University, we have also been organizing International Loneliness Symposia, addressing loneliness with different themes each year since 2019. Before each symposium, we conduct field research in the relevant area and share the findings with the public. These studies show us this: Loneliness is no longer just an issue for those living alone, but for everyone who feels disconnected and unsupported within crowds.'”
Artificial intelligence tools have become a 'digital interlocutor'
Prof. Süleymanlı emphasized that it is noteworthy for artificial intelligence tools to become a 'digital interlocutor' capable of responding to people's emotional voids, and stated, “While this form of relationship appears comforting in the short term, it can deepen loneliness rather than reduce it when it starts to replace real human relationships. Therefore, today's fundamental question is no longer just 'how many people do we communicate with?', but 'how many people can we truly connect with?' Because people can talk with technology, be visible on social media, live in crowds; but what connects them to life are still sincere, trustworthy, and meaningful human relationships.'”
