Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that a family where biological and psychological needs are met, and where love, respect, and trust are built, serves as “the final refuge.” He emphasized that especially childhood, the period between ages 0 and 6, is a critical stage in which the seeds of goodness and evil, beauty and ugliness, are sown.
Explaining that the fundamental pillars of goodness in a family are love, respect, loyalty, patience, and empathetic as well as fair communication, Prof. Tarhan said: “Teaching children the habit of doing good, helping them develop a sense of conscience, consistent discipline, and an understanding of true freedom are vital for their growth into healthy individuals. Modernism has sown rain but is reaping storms. It is goodness that will extinguish the fire within the family.”
President of Üsküdar University and psychiatrist Prof. Tarhan discussed the state of the family institution and the psychological foundations of the concept of goodness on the occasion of World Kindness Day, November 13, in the context of the deep civilizational crisis brought on by the modern age.
A deep civilizational crisis and the family
Prof. Tarhan described the disintegration of families in the modern Western world, the growing mental health problems among children, and the rise of anti-marriage movements as concrete indicators of a deep civilizational crisis. He noted that the radical shifts in modern life philosophy have rapidly eroded traditional family values, while this crisis has been intensified by global psychological warfare.
Highlighting how the fast pace of modern life and its accompanying loss of meaning have undermined long-held family values, Tarhan said: “When the social walls and fortresses surrounding the family collapsed, family members were left to protect their homes from external influences on their own. As a result of this cultural and psychological warfare, every family has become a potential victim of this internal struggle. Popular culture and modern role models have infiltrated even the most private spaces of individuals. Consequently, problems such as drug use, violence, divorce, and suicide have spread like an epidemic.”
Redefining the concept of goodness
Arguing that Western values such as materialism, selfishness, and comfort-seeking have corrupted social morality and fueled narcissism while weakening empathy, Prof. Tarhan emphasized that redefining the concept of “goodness” and reinforcing it with scientific foundations is now an unavoidable necessity.
The biological evidence of goodness
Blending psychiatry with cultural values, Tarhan underlined that goodness is not only a moral virtue but also a biological potential innate to human nature.
He explained that doing good has positive effects not only on the recipient but also on the giver, saying: “Goodness is a natural potential within human beings and has a biological foundation. According to the psychological principle known as the ‘law of return,’ whatever a person does comes back to them. Those who do good receive goodness, those who listen are met with understanding. Goodness is not limited to material help; smiling at someone, giving a flower, offering a kind word, or showing warmth and all of these are forms of goodness.”
“Evil, according to the law of entropy, is the absence of goodness”
Prof. Nevzat Tarhan noted that neuroscience has revealed the physical evidence of how morality and emotions function in the brain. He explained: “The frontal cortex, or prefrontal lobe, plays a crucial role in attention, planning, empathy, and common sense. In this context, emotional intelligence (EQ) becomes more important for success in life and marriage than logical intelligence (IQ). While IQ strengthens academic achievement, EQ improves life satisfaction, relationships, and marriages. Individuals with emotional intelligence can understand both their own emotions and those of others. They act independently, seek compromise, and are optimistic. Evil, in terms of the Law of Entropy, is simply the absence of goodness. Recognizing oneself, being aware of one’s positive and negative tendencies, is essential for choosing goodness and protecting oneself from evil.”
The seeds of good and evil are sown between ages 0 and 6
Emphasizing that a family where love, respect, and trust are nurtured serves as “the final refuge,” Tarhan said: “Especially childhood, the period between ages 0 and 6, is the critical time when the seeds of good and evil, beauty and ugliness, are sown. During this period, children perceive what is rewarded as right and what is punished as wrong. The consistency, perseverance, and clarity of parents in their approach to good and bad are as vital to a child’s healthy personality development as steady, gentle snowfall is for snow to settle on the ground.”
Teaching children the habit of doing good
Prof. Tarhan explained that the core pillars of goodness within the family are love, respect, loyalty, patience, empathy, and fairness in communication. He stated: “Empathy means understanding another person’s pain and responding with compassion. In a family where empathy is absent, problems cannot be resolved easily. Empathy and compassion require understanding the suffering of others and a willingness to help, while justice and balance are essential both in family relationships and in child education. Taking responsibility, engaging in self-reflection, maintaining realistic expectations, being content, and viewing marriage as a ‘team effort’ all strengthen the sense of goodness within the family.
Goodness is not merely a moral choice; it is a brain-based process that forms the foundation of both individual and social mental health. Teaching children the habit of doing good, nurturing their sense of conscience, applying consistent discipline, and teaching the concept of true freedom are vital for raising emotionally healthy individuals. Modernism has sown rain but is reaping storms. The fire within the family will only be extinguished by goodness.”
Goodness in the family must be an active process
Highlighting that modern-day materialism, consumerism, and technology addiction threaten the state of goodness within families, Tarhan warned that basing happiness on external factors is an illusion. He explained that true happiness stems from inner balance, and the key to escaping these traps lies in contentment and awareness of consequences.
Prof. Tarhan emphasized that the family must be redefined and strengthened as the final refuge in the face of the challenges of the modern world. He concluded: “Goodness within the family is not a passive state; it is an active process that requires continuous investment, learning, conscious effort, and a dynamic balance. This state of goodness not only ensures individual happiness but also lays the foundation for a healthy, peaceful, and hopeful future. The ‘family goodness’ approach offers an important roadmap for healing the wounds of our time.”