Within the scope of March 21 Courtesy Day, Prof. Gül Esra Atalay, evaluating digital communication language and courtesy culture, pointed out that in social media, unlike face-to-face communication where there are no facial expressions or tone of voice, the boundaries of politeness are easily crossed. Prof. Atalay stated that anonymity and algorithms encourage harsh language, and called for, “We must not forget that there is a human behind the screen, and we should write thoughtfully.”
Prof. Atalay said, “Today, digital courtesy should be an important part of general etiquette and respect education for children and young people, for both families and educational institutions. In short, we need to learn to remain human in the digital world too.”
Dean of Üsküdar University Faculty of Communication Prof. Gül Esra Atalay, within the scope of March 21 Courtesy Day, evaluated the communication language and courtesy culture on digital platforms.
No facial expressions or intonation in digital communication
Prof. Atalay emphasized that communication established in digital environments has different dynamics than face-to-face communication, and said, “When communicating on a digital platform, there are no facial expressions, gestures, or voice intonations that accompany our daily conversations. Therefore, our interlocutor judges us solely by the words we use. This limited form of communication can lead to many misunderstandings. Even a small choice of words, which may seem insignificant, can be perceived much more harshly. In face-to-face communication, we generally control ourselves more; because we can instantly see the reactions of the other person and reshape our message accordingly. In the digital realm, however, this feedback is delayed or nonexistent. This makes communication colder and riskier. Therefore, paying attention to using a polite communication style becomes more important than ever.”
The reason for harsh language on social media is not just individuals
Prof. Atalay stated that the language used on social media can often be harsher and more hurtful, and said, “There are several reasons for this. Firstly, people feel safer behind a screen. Secondly, there is a pressure for speed. We often write and send messages immediately without thinking. Thirdly, the algorithmic structure of social media makes sharper, more assertive, and even more aggressive content more visible. So, it’s not just an individual, but also a structural incentive. On social media, we tend to think less about the fact that the person we are interacting with is a human being and that they might be negatively affected by what we write and the words we use. When the advantages of face-to-face communication disappear, especially when anonymity is involved, people can become much ruder and more offensive.”
Prof. Atalay stated that this situation is called “online disinhibition effect” in literature, pointed out that communication established in digital environments can sometimes be perceived as unreal, and said, “Under this effect, which can be summarized as the perception of online interaction as unreal, people on social media can become more candid, bolder, and unfortunately ruder than they would be, without considering what the other person feels. However, it is important to remember that there is still a human behind the screen.”
Emojis can reduce misunderstandings
Prof. Atalay stated that misunderstandings can occur more frequently in written digital communication due to the lack of intonation and facial expressions, stated that emojis partially fill this gap in daily communication, and said, “In fact, emojis are used to fill this gap, to send the message to the other party along with the meaning and emotional baggage we attach to it. Emojis can be a lifesaver in daily social media correspondence. However, using emojis in more formal correspondence might not be welcome. It might be seen as unserious. In such cases, it might be a good idea not to send the message without checking it, and before sending, to read it aloud once to ensure it doesn't evoke a meaning or emotion other than what we intend. A concise, clear style, free from innuendo, irony, and jokes, can prevent misunderstandings.”
Anonymity can weaken the boundaries of respect
Prof. Gül Esra Atalay stated that the feeling of anonymity and distance in digital environments can facilitate the transgression of boundaries of respect and courtesy, and said, “The feeling of anonymity and distance makes digital communication even more fragile. When people's identities are not visible, or when they don't perceive the other person as a ‘real’ human being, they can much more easily express things they wouldn't normally say. In this environment, social norms loosen, boundaries stretch; consequently, violations of respect and courtesy increase. Especially against unfamiliar individuals, a user profile emerges that can react thoughtlessly and disproportionately.”
Prof. Atalay explained that for individuals who become targets of negative comments, this process can turn into serious psychological erosion, and said, “Moreover, the desire for visibility and attention on social media fuels these behaviors. In an attempt to display their own values, show that they are on the 'right' side, or establish moral superiority, a digital crowd can form that easily judges and lynches others, often without sufficient information. We increasingly encounter this situation, called moral posturing, on social media. For its victims, social life becomes very difficult.”
We must learn to remain human in the digital world too
Prof. Atalay stated that there is a multi-layered responsibility, from individuals to families and educational institutions, for the development of digital courtesy culture, and concluded her words by saying, “The responsibility for the development of digital courtesy culture is multi-layered. As individuals, it might be good to slow down a bit, write thoughtfully, and empathize. Today, digital courtesy should be an important part of general etiquette and respect education for children and young people, for both families and educational institutions. Families can teach children not only how to use technology but also how to behave in the digital environment. Educational institutions should treat this as a life skill. In short, we need to learn to remain human in the digital world too.”