Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, participated in a talk organized by the Turkish-German University's Thought and Civilization Club. Meeting with students under the title 'Moral Decay in Society and the Protection of the Family', Tarhan drew attention to the changes in society and their effects on the family. Emphasizing that modernism has made pleasure-oriented life philosophy an ego ideal, Tarhan added that the price for this will be paid by the increase in psychological cases.
The conference was held in the Conference Hall of the Turkish-German University's School of Foreign Languages. There was strong interest from academics and students in the program.
"Egoism, self-interest gained ground…"
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that lawlessness paved the way for egoism, said; "Egoism, self-interest gained ground. We also adopted the neoliberal policies of the USA. These policies are entirely characterized by lawlessness and boundlessness. Anomie lies behind legal decay. There are no norms. There are three types of norms. First are legal norms, determined by laws. Second are social norms, determined by society, such as our traditions and customs. These norms provide social regulation. The third type of norms are conscientious norms, such as not doing evil, not lying, and being honest. Conscience protects these. Conscience is learned later. Conscience only emerges in people who have a sense of accountability to God." he stated.
"Modernism Changed the Way of Life"
Tarhan, addressing the effects of modernism on humans, said: "Modernism chose pleasure-oriented life philosophy as its ego ideal. There is a definition of happiness made by Aristotle. He divides happiness into two: first, hedomanic happiness, and second, eudaimonic happiness. Hedomanic happiness is the happiness of chasing pleasure. These have a counterpart in neuroscience; it's called dopamine happiness. When it ends, one wants a new one. The second happiness is meaning happiness. A person pursues a meaning. They have an idea, an ideal. When pursuing a meaning, serotonin is released in the brain. If a crisis occurs, they can overcome it easily. Serotonin in the brain does not immediately deplete because they can think of long-term happiness. The brain uses serotonin for long-term happiness. For short-term, concrete happiness, it uses dopamine. This has also been scientifically confirmed. Modernism has changed the way of life. We will pay the price for this mostly with the increase in psychiatric cases, such as depression, anxiety, and panic disorder…" he said.
"Open your eyes wide before marriage, half-open after"
Tarhan, stating that ego wars are what harm the family most, said; "We need to understand what we mean by family. To young people, I say before marriage, 'Open your eyes wide before marriage, half-open after.' If attention is paid to this, problems are solved more easily. The level of expectation is very important here. Currently, what harms the family most are ego wars. My money, your money. My mother, your mother. These become personality wars, power struggles. Whereas in our culture, husband and wife are called refik and refika. Refik is a male travel companion, refika is a female travel companion. Meaning, embarking on life's journey. For example, if you've boarded a ship and are traveling, you cannot say 'I'm bored, I'm quitting' in the middle of the journey. Marriage is such an institution. Currently, to reduce the world population, they want to reduce marriage as a method of family planning. They say the world population has increased too much. They say marriage should decrease, and they are succeeding in this,' he stated.
"Cultural Concepts Need to Be Well Defined"
Tarhan, emphasizing that transsexuality is a disease, said; "Transsexuality is a disease; if the person wants, there is a cure. If parents realize it, treatment before age 12 is very easy. After age 12, it is very difficult. Especially after 18, we have to say it's too late. In such situations, parents have a duty to warn and a right to approve or disapprove. In such situations, if the child already loves their family, they can correct and transform that desire, like the desire to consume alcohol, within themselves. If they don't want it, you cannot force them. Therefore, cultural concepts need to be well-defined,' he stated.
"Stress is the Body's Demand for Development"
Tarhan also made evaluations in the context of stress, saying; "Stress is the body's demand for development. Our body being exposed to stress is a sign of development. Don't be afraid of stress; be afraid of not being able to manage stress. Therefore, seek out stress. That is, stress is like riding a bicycle. If you ride fast, you fall. If you stop, you also fall. Balanced use is important,' he said.
"Science is Our Biggest Guide"
Tarhan, stating that people who believe everything they hear can easily make mistakes, said; "30 percent of people are questioning and researching. 70 percent tend to believe easily and are not researchers. Non-researching people believe what they hear. However, there is a beautiful saying in Anatolia, 'Don't believe what you hear, and believe only half of what you see.' This encourages questioning. In other words, believing everything one hears is enough to make a person make mistakes. Therefore, science is our biggest guide. Research scientific literature, look at new literature, look at old literature. This is a way of life,' he stated.
"One-Person Households Are Increasing, Five-Person Households Are Decreasing"
Tarhan, drawing attention to household fragility experienced in Turkey and the world, said; "Currently, feminism is being used in the service of global ideologies. For example, problems related to marriage are increasing, and divorces are increasing. The divorce rate in the first 5 years of marriage is 38 percent in Turkey. In Germany and Europe, it exceeds 50 percent, but 30 percent for us is a very serious rate. Here, household fragility is increasing. One-person households are growing, while five-person households are decreasing. Against this, family academies need to be established and spread. A commercial mediation board was established, and cases decreased by 70 percent. This mediation system also needs to be established in the family,' he stated.
"People saying 'What's the need for marriage?' have increased, and the bill falls on the children…"
Tarhan, stating that the family must be protected against global propaganda, said; "In Europe, they say a business won't invest if an institution will incur 50% loss. They say the institution of family has a divorce rate above 50%. No investment is made in this, so they say there's no need for marriage. The Western world currently views the family this way. That's why there are extramarital lifestyles. In extramarital life, the biggest bill falls on women. In other words, the powerful oppress the weak. To protect the institution of family, we first need to diagnose its ailment. That is, what destroys the family most right now are narcissistic individuals. Since we take the USA as an example, both neoliberal and culturally, it is rapidly spreading here too. Popular culture occupies our minds. People saying 'What's the need for marriage?' have increased. In other words, there can be no social transformation without mental transformation. And after social transformation, political transformation occurs. This is the hierarchy. So, we must protect the family against this global propaganda,' he said.
"Narcissistic People's Sense of Entitlement is Self-Oriented"
Tarhan, speaking about narcissistic individuals and love investment, said; "Narcissistic individuals are self-centered. This narcissistic trait exists in all of us. For example, the most narcissistic being is a child. They think the world revolves around them. A child invests love in themselves. The first emotion they feel is fear, their first reaction is crying, and they take refuge with their mother, finding comfort. After that, as they grow, they invest their love in their siblings, toys, father, and family, and thus grow their love investment. As they grow even more, they invest their love in their country, homeland, humanity, the universe, and the creator. In this way, the level of development reaches its peak. If one distributes love investment balancedly, they will have a proper outlook on life. Narcissistic people's sense of entitlement is self-oriented. They always see themselves as right. Because they are like that, when there is a problem, they blame others. They assume they possess qualities they don't have and truly believe it…' he stated.
"Let's Start Changing the World from Ourselves"
Tarhan, stating that psychological capital should be managed just like financial capital, said; "Just as we manage financial capital, we should manage psychological capital. For example, if we consider love as emotional capital, you will invest in love. Social capital has three pillars. First, our communication style with people. Second, our problem-solving style with people. And third, our stress management style. These three pillars form our social capital. If we manage our social capital well, we will have that level of social network. Not only technical and academic success, but also social and emotional success. Social and emotional success is two-thirds of success. One-third is technical success. In other words, individuals who keep their social capital rich do not deplete their communication capital in family ties. They establish healthy communication. If there is no Plan A, there is a Plan B. They solve problems. They even see those problems as opportunities for self-development. They see them as opportunities, not threats. This is a learned behavior. It is learned from parents, environment, and if a person develops themselves. Therefore, let's start changing the world from ourselves,' he stated.
