Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, Founding Rector of Üsküdar Üniversitesi, participated in the Bingöl Values Education Workshop program published on the İlim İrfan School YouTube channel. Tarhan delivered his speech under the title “Communication with Generation Z”. Tarhan stated that to understand young people, it is necessary to know them; “Unless we speak the same language with young people, we cannot understand each other, regardless of our purpose. The language of young people has changed in this era. Because we cannot speak the same language, they are slipping away from us. First, it is necessary to know the young people of this time.” Tarhan also pointed out that there is a vaccine for the digital pandemic.
The online program was moderated by Atatürk University Faculty Member Prof. Dr. A. Halim Ulaş.
“First, it is necessary to know the young people of this era”
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that to understand young people, it is necessary to know them; “Unless we speak the same language with young people, we cannot understand each other, regardless of our purpose. The language of young people has changed in this era. Because we cannot speak the same language, they are slipping away from us. First, it is necessary to know the young people of this time. It is appropriate to divide X, Y, and Z generations into three groups: radio, television, and social media. Contact with technology is less in the X generation. It is more in the Y generation. And in the Z generation, much more contact with technology is observed. While organizational commitment is high in the X generation, it decreases in the Y and Z generations. Belonging decreases, self-confidence increases. Individuality increases in the X generation, obedience to authority decreases. Impulse control is weak in the Z generation. That is why addictions, criminal incidents, and violent incidents are more frequent. Social media use is also high. For example, they can pay attention to several things simultaneously, but the X generation can deepen when focusing on one thing. The Z generation cannot deepen. The sense of responsibility is gradually decreasing, and comfort-seeking is increasing. Adherence to social norms is higher in the X generation and lower in the Z generation.” he said, explaining the differences between generations.
“There is a vaccine for the digital pandemic”
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that internet addiction is increasing in epidemic form and stated that there is a vaccine for the digital pandemic. Tarhan said; “Virtual addictions have emerged in this generation. The internet provides 24/7 access. It is immersive, satisfying and affirming the pleasure sensation in the human brain in an incredibly easy, short, and cheap way. It is convenient, easily accessible, effortless, and inexpensive. It does not create a sense of threat. That is, it does not create the feeling of ‘I got caught, I committed a crime,’ and it is rewarding. Due to these seven characteristics, the internet is spreading epidemically. In this epidemic, there is a vaccine for the digital pandemic.”
“Used as a stress reduction technique”
Tarhan emphasized that the internet is used to escape negative emotions; “In internet addiction, there is a constant mental preoccupation with the internet, fantasizing about it. Let us all look at ourselves and our surroundings. There is a growing need to use the internet more. As a result of reducing or completely stopping internet use, restlessness, depression, and resentment are felt. In other words, excessive internet use leads to increasing problems and losses in family, school, work, and social circles. So, there is dangerous and harmful use. It is used as a stress reduction technique to escape negative emotions.”
“The first language young people understand is persuasion and conviction”
Tarhan stated that it is necessary to convey truths to the young people of this era through persuasion and conviction; “50 years ago, when young people were told ‘do not answer back to elders,’ they would remain silent. From the family onward, children were raised with a sense of obedience, glorifying submission. There was a culture of ‘do not ask, do not think, obey.’ Children raised in this culture followed the rules, but in this era, especially with the widespread use of the internet and social media, young people question. They ask why and for what reason. It is necessary to say no to young people with reasons. When we explain the truths to them with reasons, even if the young person objects at first, they accept it later. The first language young people understand is persuasion and conviction. The second language is the method of making them love. The classical method taught by frightening. In this era, we will not be able to persuade young people by frightening, threatening, or intimidating them because evils have spread everywhere.”
“One of the ways to speak the same language is to act in a way that suits the digital generation”
Tarhan, speaking about young people’s sensitivity to justice, also drew attention to their innocence. Tarhan said; “One of the ways to speak the same language with them is to act in a way that suits the digital generation. We need to use the digital world and digital tools very well. If we turn our backs on digital tools, if we say these are forbidden, if we prefer not to bring them into our homes at all instead of bringing them in a controlled manner, then we will lose this generation. In other words, it does not work with intimidation. Young people currently attach importance to consistency. They ask, ‘Do a person’s words match their actions?’ These young people, in particular, have innocence, and their sense of justice is very high. They want to be in a fair environment. They have a sensitivity regarding being just to feel safe.”
We will approach young people with 'I' language instead of 'you' language…
Tarhan pointed out that using 'I' language is necessary to establish positive communication with young people; “We will approach young people with 'I' language instead of 'you' language. 'You' language is accusatory, judgmental. We will use empathetic language. 'I' language is like, ‘If I were in your place, I would do it this way, not that way. I would wear this, not that.’ When you say this, the child will feel valued. A defensive feeling will not arise in them. We need to approach them in this manner. Using 'I' language when communicating with young people is one of the most important methods in positive communication.”
“The most important emotion is the feeling of love and sincerity”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan, stating what educators should pay attention to when communicating with young people, drew attention to the importance of the feeling of love and sincerity. Tarhan said; “Young people read not only what is said to them but also what is unsaid. 20 percent of what we say is verbal expression. 80 percent is non-verbal expression. That is, our tone of voice, facial expressions, micro-expressions, gestures – all these convey emotions. We do not just convey information to the person we are talking to; we also convey emotion. We convey 20 percent factual information and 80 percent emotion. The most important emotion is the feeling of love and sincerity. Children in the classroom buy not what you teach, but your sincerity and your love for them. Children need to mentally buy what you teach. For this, you must be sincere. You must apply the rule of ‘Love, value, share.’ It is important in all communication. A student has a characteristic. First, the student must love the subject. They succeed in subjects they love. To love the subject, they need to love the teacher. When they love the teacher, they love the subject more.”
“The teacher will be like an orchestra conductor in the classroom”
Tarhan stated that a person begins to feel pleasure when they get lost in a state of flow; “The teacher will be like an orchestra conductor in the classroom. There are various instruments, and you, as the conductor, must manage those instruments harmoniously. There are many students in the classroom, and being able to manage them harmoniously is important. You will be constantly alert, with each instrument playing and saying something different. This way, students will not sleep, they will dedicate themselves to the lesson, and they will not realize how time has passed. This is the learning model that best keeps the brain awake. The more areas of their brain a person uses, the longer their attention lasts. This is even called the state of flow. One gets lost in the state of flow, not realizing how the hours pass. They catch that state of flow and start to feel pleasure. This is the teaching of positive psychology, the best learning method.”
The equation of purpose, need, desire, and motivation…
Tarhan, speaking about the equation of purpose, need, desire, and motivation, stated that young people need to have a purpose to be successful in the medium and long term. Tarhan said; “We will call this era the age of delaying pleasures to gain greater pleasures in the medium and long term. That is why we teach strategic thinking skills. When we teach this to a child, if they have a template in their mind when negative or distracting emotions arise, they can say no. Also, the child needs to learn to live purposefully. If they have a purpose, that purpose creates a need. If there is a need, desire awakens. If desire awakens, there is motivation. To motivate the child, you will set a purpose. If you have a purpose, you need to think, ‘What do I need to do to achieve this purpose?’ The child will find it themselves. They will feel the desire and take action. Therefore, there is the equation of purpose, need, desire, and motivation. We can make this equation work in this way.”
“There is shared leadership of the mother and father at home”
Prof. Dr. Tarhan stated that if the home is a structured and disciplined environment, the family will be peaceful; “The leader of the classroom is the teacher. If they lose leadership to the children, they cannot dominate the class. At home, too, there is shared leadership of the mother and father. If there is no shared leadership, there will be no peace at home. For this, there must be common rules. The home environment must be structured and disciplined. If it is structured and disciplined, there will be peace at home. Because where there are rules, there is justice. If there is love-justice at home, there is also justice in sharing. Balances are formed within the family. At home, you will embody the roles of father and mother. You will establish a horizontal relationship with the child but will not lose leadership. We will talk about right and wrong with the child. We will say no to wrong with reasons. We will state truths by persuading. Therefore, being able to live out the roles of father and mother at home is very important.”